The most beautiful cat in the world is dead

William Bedford Payne died Monday October 26th at Cogges Veterinary Surgery of a merciful overdose at the age of fourteen years. He had cancer of the tongue and was finding it difficult to eat or wash himself. He did not go gentle into that good night but fought, biting me several times, until a sedative did its work.

He was cheerful to the end, despite the pain. Only a fortnight ago he caught and brought back a weasel - he had always been an accomplished hunter. On the last night of his life he came for a walk with me and when I went in, spent the early evening checking his territory before coming in for the night.

William was serious and conscientious about territory. Each morning he would pause at the back door which I opened for him (he preferred this to the cat flap) and sniff the air with care. Then he would pad round to the willow tree at the front of the house, pausing to inspect the cars to see if there were new smells on the wheels.

He often sat for a while gazing towards the hedge from where the rabbits had played in the cart track the night before. Then he would go back to the garden, walk up past the box plant (which he often sprayed) towards the pond and the long grass where he sometimes caught mice. This was his world and it was important to him to make sure that all was well in it.

On the last evening, though it must have hurt - he had a cracked pelvis too - he jumped on to the bed and slept alongside me. On the last morning, he ate a little cat food from my hand (which included pain killers), took a nap, then went out again to check his territory as usual though (he did not know it) for the last time in the autumn sunlight. He came back into the house, and I took him on his final journey.

William started life living in a household full of 70 cats. He came to me via Cats Protection and his health problems - fleas, mites, giardia, and others - meant a vets bill of £800 way back in l995. He spent so long at the vets - in London - that the staff named him Mr Purr.

Not only was he a great hunter, but he was also an accomplished performer. He jumped little jumps. He sat up and begged. He offered a paw, always the right one, to shake. He lay down and died for his country. In the last year of his life he learned to roll over on command - though, for some reason, would only roll one way. He would also roll on his side putting his paws together (see that in the picture) in a praying position - just for the reward of my full attention.

William was not a difficult cat but he was never a cuddle cat either. He enjoyed my company but always at a distance. He preferred games to petting - showing that he was playing by his demeanour (see the picture in the snow). On the last evening of his life he thought about running up the willow tree to show off to me and realised he could no longer had the strength for it. Instead, with dignity he rubbed against the garden bench, as if the willow tree had been furthest from his mind. He would not show weakness.

He kept his independance to the end - refusing to let me help get rid of the knots that began to appear when he could no longer wash himself properly.

William, you showed no signs of pain. You did not complain or ask for food when you found you could not longer eat properly. You did not cuddle closer to me on the bed for comfort but kept what you felt was a proper affectionate distance that last night together.

You have shown me how to die with integrity and dignity. May I show the same qualities of bravery and serenity when it is my time.

Farewell, William, Mr Purr. I shall miss you with all my heart. Celia

PS. The blog will start again in November

Humans - they are so irresponsible.

Dear George,
Why is it that the human servants of cats are not made to act more responsibly? Molly, the cat next door sneaked into our house while our front door was open for a few minutes while my family was packing the car to go away for a few days. Luckily for me she was spotted looking out of the bedroom window and chased out but if she had come into the kitchen instead of running upstairs I wouldn't be alive to write this letter.
While it is difficult to control you hunters, your owners should realise that owning a cat immediately removes freedom of choice for neighbours. Apart from the poo in our garden and cat paw marks on the freshly cleaned cars we can no longer leave doors or windows ajar in our house for a bit of fresh air.
What do you suggest?
From a very worried
Harvey the house rabbit.


Dear Harvey,
I can't say I share your fears because I don't. But I do accept that having a cat intrude into your territory, if you are a prey animal like a rabbit must be very frightening indeed. We cats are predators, but we are also prey to dogs, wolves, coyotes, foxes etc. And we too get very very frightned when these animals either stray into the house or even just pass through the garden. Some foolish cat loving humans feed foxes in their garden and think they cats will remain safe - well, sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. It all depends on whether the fox thinks it can win the battle.
Oddly enough we cats are also worried by neighbourhood cats. In leafy suburbs there can be an awful lot of them and, if you are a timid home living pussycat (unlike me) it is very upsetting to find strangers in your territory - particularly if they come in the cat flap. One distinguished vet and behaviour expert says there are "despot" cats that can terrorize a whole neighbourhood.
What can we do about it. Well get those humans to install PetPort cat flaps - www.PetPorte.com and think about window screens that let in the cool air - www.cataire.co.uk or www.thescreendoorcompany.co.uk
But human control? I think not. Oh no. We HAVE to keep up the proper cat-human relationship with the cat in proper charge.

Love George (alpha cat in charge of Celia)

Introducing the sticky crunch of newts

Dear George,
When I first came into the kitchen with a newt thrashing about between my gums, my humans were – heaven knows why – shocked rather than grateful. Even though I have no teeth I managed to munch it with my gums and swallow it down. I made my trademark hunting cry of “marrp” in celebration.
Later I saw my companion Whicky Wuudler batting something about and stamping on it – he’s a real back paw stamper and his hocks are legendary for dispatching moles. Sure enough he’d got a newt too – only just a tiny one. The humans tried to interfere AGAIN. He ate it, except for one tiny foreleg. Next Oliver brought a live one into the house, whapped it around growling and took off at high speed when our humans interfered. He ate it too!
Why can’t they understand…. Newts are good to eat and fun to hunt. We bring them in to show them off to our two apes. Whicky left that leg out of the goodness of his heart so that they could have a nibble. Did they? They did not. What's more, a day or two later, the newts had totally disappeared! What’s wrong with these apes, George?
Love Gerry

Dear Gerry,

Many humans, or apes as you so nicely call them, seem to think that newts produce a foul tasting mucus to deter predators. They don't. I think they have them confused with toads, which do taste horrible, though frogs are quite nice if you like that sort of thing. Some humans even eat them - though they are so unsporting as to buy them frozen in frenchy supermarkets rather than going out and hunting their own. All too typical of this species. You call them apes: I call them Homo stupido.

Do you actually fish your newts out of the water, or do you just wait till they come on land and get them then? I know of cats that will clear a small garden pond of all goldfish. Fanny brought in a goldfish, left it on the kitchen floor where it was found by the humans. They placed in a tank and it survived for a further 15 years. It made interactive piscal TV for Fanny!

And I even heard of a cat that brought home a two pound koi carp, which was probably worth thousands of pounds if it had the right markings. Its humans never dared to confess to the crime.

Newts, frogs and toads will all survive cats (apart from the occasionally unlucky individual) , if there are enough hiding places for them in a garden - long grass, wood piles, stone walls etc.

I have never tried back stamping. Can your apes take a video of it so I can post it?

Love George

Do books make me an intellectual?

Dear George,
I have decided to become an intellectual cat and the reason is that I’m fed up with my female human. I can’t stand her any longer telling everybody that my sister Cayenne is “the intellectual one” and that I’m “the frivolous” one that needs to be entertained. Well, since Cayenne decided to find her “inner kitten” ….I decided to become an intellectual and teach my snotty female human a lesson!
Firstly, I started sleeping on books as you can see in the picture. It’s a bit “tough” but I hope this way I’ll accumulate more knowledge quicker.
Secondly, I think I should “shred” some curtains, art, something in the house…just to tell her that I don’t like it. Why can’t she have a normal painting, something like a big, fat mouse next to a piece of cheese? Even that chubby, smiling woman (the one who smiles, no matter from what angle you look at her) would do it! But no, she likes “melting clocks” or men flying hanging on umbrellas. And her favorite?…that guy looking in a mirror and seeing his back! See what I have to put up with?
George, I badly need your help to punish this snob! Or should I do something to impress her? What should I do next?
Love
Fluffy
Dear Fluffy,
Sleeping on books is a good idea. It's high up which gives an immediate impression of superiority. Its draught free. Looks good, looks very good, and if the books are large enough it is not too uncomfortable. But the big question is - which books? I can't read the titles so I am not sure.
In an ideal world the books we would choose would be Purrsuasion, Scratch 22, Mouse Catcher in the Rye, The Cat of Mounte Christo, Great Catsby, The Cat is a Lonely Hunter, Bleak Mouse, Plain Tails from the Hills, Tail of Two Kitties, Goodnight Mr Tomcat, Middlemog, The Brothers Catamazov, Zen and the Art of Mog Maintenance, and The Purrsuit of Love. Just one fully human book - A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, because in it Mark Twain suggests installing a royal family made up of cats.
Shredding, as you can so plainly see, an art form in itself. Most of us favour the downward scratch at the back of loose covered armchairs, but several have experimented with wallpaper and report a really beautiful effect. Curtains can be more difficult, as they swing loose, but with experience a completely frilled effect can be achieved. Finally, do not forget carpet. There's lots of it, and horizontal scratching, once you get used to it, can play its part in Home Decoration.
Finally, the litter tray. The philosophical and beautiful patterns of a Japanese gravel garden can be achieved in most litters, though wood and paper litter refuses to co-operate. Dig deep. A pleasant scatter effect can be achieved from an open litter tray. Performance art - think about digging, using the tray then rushing round the house scattering litter as you go. It's the litter skitter.
Happy Scratching. Happy Digging.
Love George.
Please suggest some more book titles in the comments. There are some that have made me laugh out loud already. Puss Puss has contributed this photo of himself on the book by Churchill, the country's leader and a good inspiration for all cats anxious to take their place as leader of their household.

Dragons for cats - the lizard option.

Dear George
There was talk of dragons earlier. I think you said you"d like to get a crack at a small dragon. Well, I have. Here's a photo of one of the tiny dragons I hunt relentlessly at home in the Pyrenees. Ok, so they don't breathe fire - the hillside would be alight in a second if they did. But lizards do look dragon-like.
Oddly enough my humans do not appreciate my efforts. Well, I say oddly enough, but you know what they are. Humans don't do gratitude. I've tried bringing these in to the kitchen and they just seem to shudder.
Yours
Lolo
Dear Lolo,
It looks pretty odd to me. I am used to mice - nice warm furry things. These lizards don't have any fur at all. it reminds me - in so far as it reminds me of anything, - the snakes that Clarri kills. He also comes from the same part of the world as you. His humans are just downright terrified even though they are much bigger than she is.
Interesting that they don't like lizards any more than they like mice. I caught a particularly large and succulent one the other day. I wondered whether they would like it better absolutely fresh, so I took it in while it was still alive. Nearly lost it through the cat flap. But I decided I would give it to Celia in her office.
The effect was not what I hoped but it was quite amusing. She let out a tiny shriek and jumped over me and the mouse (who was sitting on the carpet looking stunned), ran downstairs, ran back upstairs with a dishcloth, threw it on the mouse and grabbed the wrapped up mouse, ran downstairs again at full speed, and threw the package outside.
Were my efforts appreciated? No. Were they noticed? A big YES. Clearly mouse delivery works as a way of getting our pets to react and notice us.
Love George without Dragon.
For a photo of Clarri killing snakes look at Thursday, April 17, 2008 of this blog.

Human whiskers - they've vanished!

Dear George,
My male human used to wear a moustache! Recently he shaved it (I think he tries to please someone). What I’ve noticed since….is that he’s no longer able to give correct directions when asked for. Could this be because…. he shaved his whiskers?
I’m really concerned! I wanted to ask him directions to a “sushi place” (Ah! those tuna sashimi – so yummy!) but I’m afraid that he’ll send me south instead of north and so on!
What can I do? How can he grow back his whiskers? Should I water his face? Implant?
Worried,
Sir Winston
Dear Sir Winston,
Shaving off whiskers. What on earth does he think he is doing? This is one of the most worrying habits of humans. They self mutilate by shaving off the fur on their face - almost the only fur they have. They also shave off the fur under their arms and (sometimes) below the navel. You'd think, as they have to little of it, they'd want to keep all they have.
The only furry area they want to keep is the area on the top of their head. And that falls off somewhere around middle age. Some cats have tried grooming on the bald top of the head, sitting on the top of an arm chair so they can reach it. It doesn't work. Fur never re-grows though - and this is truly pathetic - some humans wear a little wig up there to hide the baldness.
Facial hair? One reason why humans shave it off or pull it out(female are particularly committed to the latter) is that their facial whiskers are so inferior to ours. The whiskers sometimes grow long and strong, but they can't DO anything with them. Their whiskers do not send messages to the brain - except for an Ouch if they are pulled too hard!
Our whiskers function as an extra sense. When we catch a mouse, the whiskers automatically move forward, touching the struggling rodent. That we, we can tell how much it is still moving and at what angle it lies in the mouth. We also have whiskers on our legs, so that when we hold down a mouse, we can measure its struggles. I have added a photo of these.
Whiskers don't just help us keep hold of our prey, they also help us measure the size of holes or small places. If our whiskers can get through, the rest of us probably can.
Love George
PS. May I say that yours are particularly fine, Sir Winston.

Help me find my “inner kitten”!

Dear George,
I’m often told that I’m too serious; too much reading and studying!
But I can’t be laying on my back waiting for my humans to rub my belly
or rolling over making that “small talk” (meow-meow) noise like my sister Fluffy does!
I know she makes them laugh, but I can’t be frivolous! I have an important mission! I have to solve all kind of crisis! I was a cute, playful kitten – see picture attached (Fluffy and me when we were 7 weeks old), but I grew up and I’m more interested in helping other cats and animals. I wish I could manifest more “joie de vivre” in a sense that I could be more like my sister; worry free and always looking for excitement!
George, help me find my inner kitten ☺
Cayenne

Dear Cayenne,
The first change is attitude. Cultivate an attitude of cattitude. This includes taking for granted all human efforts on your behalf. We cats find that gratitude (if we are strange enough to feel it) simply weighs us down in our cat-humanpet relationship (or as Wicky Wuddler puts it cat-ape relationship). The food, the beds, the caresses are our due. Cat worship is what these apes/humans should be exhibiting. Train 'em harder if they are falling short.
Once you have floated free from gratitude, play. This is the inner kitten bit. Everything that exists is a potential cat toy, from a fallen bean on the kitchen floor, to the hair of your human. Poke, prod, jump, roll, nibble, groom and throw it.
The whole human body is a potential adventure playground for cats. Jump on the groin first thing in the morning. Bite the toes that poke out of the duvet. Place yourself on the abdomen in the small hours and have a thorough wash. Sleep on the lap. Share the shower. Sit on the side of the bath and play boats with any human bits protuding from the foam. Play with human hair from the safety of the top of the armchair. Ambush your human on the stairs, on the sofa, from behind the door....
Tease them. When they have friends over for a meal, dig loudly in any litter trays nearby and mew while you poo. Jump up on the table and start eating the butter. Play with shoe laces. Experience the pleasure of a good ripping noise as you claw your human's tights. Thrill as you rub your fur against their best trousers.
JDI, Cayenne. Just Do It. You're worth it.
Love George

Mice training for humans - my brilliant idea

Dear George,
I've trained my human to catch mice and other little furries! All you have to do is bring them indoors still alive and squeaking, then drop them and wait. The male human generally shouts out for the female one, then goes round shutting doors, and usually picks me up and takes me away somewhere while the female has to chase the mouse. She's getting quite good at it, but I don't know why her paws aren't any use - she always has a towel or a duster or something that she drops on the prey. I don't quite know what she thinks she's doing with it after that, but she goes out to the other end of the garden where it's a bit wild near the fence, and comes back with the cloth flapping. It may be clever of a human to catch things but it's really stupid to let them go! Why not try a taste? I recommend mouse or vole as a starter, though shrew isn't worth eating, and rat is only any good when young. It's funny how I feel hungry after eating my catch, and usually top up with a lot of biscuits. Humans just don't get it, do they?
Love Foggy,
PS This is me and Pansy on the bed.

Dear Foggy,
Training humans to chase mice is a good game. It's very amusing to see them blunder about crashing into the furniture, lying on their tummies poking mice from under the cooker, and generally doing their poor best. Some even jump up onto chairs and scream. Very satisfying.
There are other amusing things to do with a dead, or even a living mouse. Probably the best is simply to carry it into the bedroom and push it under the bedcovers, where it can be discovered later on in the evening by the human. Usually this results in a scream and jumping out of bed fast.
Other places to put a dead mouse include paper envelope files (my predecessor Fat Ada left one there), into the handbag (if it is left open), pushed down into shoes where it will not be discovered until the foot goes in, or - this is the big one - put it into the toaster. Your human will discover it when she comes down bleery eyed in the morning and if she only puts in one slice of bread, the smell of toasted mouse will waft into the air. Yes, it has been been done though I have forgotten the name of the brilliant cat that did it.
Meantime, have you trained your human to EAT the mouse? Bet you haven't.
Love George.
PS. My companion cat William has joined twitter and is boasting about his prowess. Find him on http://twitter.com/WilliamTabby

Can you mend a broken heart?

Dear George,
I'm in a difficult situation and here is why. About a year ago we (me and my humans) moved into a new place. Soon after, one day when I was home alone on my favourite armchair, I heard someone "tip-Toeing" around.
I wasn't afraid. Don't get me wrong! I was an abandoned kitty and grew up on the streets (even if I am a Maine Coon) until I was rescued by "my mom" at the very young age of six weeks or so. So not much frightens me. I knew that the main door was locked and only the door to the balcony was open, so I was wondering who could possibly be in the house?
I opened my eyes and to my complete surprise I saw this tiny cute tabby! I looked at her and ... she smiled back to me! Of course, she instantly became my best friend. We found out that she lives next door and she's lonely! She comes and goes, but she spends most of the time with me. My humans don't mind; actually they like her very much.
Then last week I found out that we are going to relocate overseas! That news broke my heart. I don't know what to do with my little, dear friend. Should I say "goodbye" or should I kidnap her and take her with me?
A broken heart,
Jimmy Boy.

Dear Jimmy Boy,

It's sad to lose a friend, but your humans need you. Of course if the little tabby doesn't have a human pet of her own, you can take her with you but it sounds from your letter as if she has. You have to go with the humans even though we cats don't like change of any kind - least of all to our nomal territory. Moving house is one of the penalties we pay for having domesticated humans. We have made them into pets so we have to give them continuing care, even if they do things we don't like.

Your dear little friend, Tabby, is obviously an ingenious cat. She has probably worked out that her humans are out at work five days out of seven, the house is empty, There are no laps to lie on, and the heating (if it is needed) is off. She has done what thousands of cats do - found herself an extra home. You made her welcome and she therefore spends time with you.

Two timing humans is our right. Many cats, who live in suburbs or towns, have discovered they can set up two or three homes. One home is their original family, the second home is the place where the old lady feeds them, and the third home is the house where the old age pensioner keeps the heating on all day.

There's a black cat near me called Smudge who lives in a small hamlet. His official owner thinks he is hers. Four houses down the road is a family who told Celia that he belongs to them. And five houses up the road is a woman who told Celia "He's not really my cat but he spends a lot of time here and sleeps on my bed in the afternoon." Celia decided not to tell the three "owners" about each other. What the eye doesn't see.....

If Tabby is lucky, a cat lover will move into your home. Or she will find another welcoming house in the street. Have faith in her ingenuity. We cats know how to look after ourselves. If you are a friendly cat, you will probably find another feline friend.

Love George

Help my human is a paparazzi - she's always papping me.

Dear George
My human is obsessed with this thing she calls a camera; I know I'm very cute, but I only have to roll over or play with something and she gets out this great black thing and clicks away. But it's not just me she clicks at, I've seen so many cat faces on her computer screen that it makes me worried that she is going to get a lot more cats to crowd out the house! (At the moment it's just me and my bigger brother, and we rub along OK, mostly.) I've heard her say that the pictures of cats are for something called a 'website', which belongs to some nice people who try to find homes for poor lonely cats, (www.prestoncpl.com <http://www.prestoncpl.com> ) but I know she gets very interested in some of them, and would like to bring them home. I don't want to share my human with any more cats - I sometimes have to push my brother off the bed when he's taken my place beside her! (It's really easy, I just wash his head hard till he gets fed up and goes away to sleep somewhere else.) Luckily the other human is dead against any more cats, so I think we are safe, at least for now, but it's quite worrying.
Love Pansy

Dear Pansy,

Humans are obsessive by nature. My own is just as bad. She's got completely overcome by the desire to photograph cats, so much so that she puts the brakes on, judders to a halt, just to photograph any cat at all. And if she has to continue driving, she literally moans with frustration about the photos she didn't get - the cat on the roof, the cat raiding somebody's goldfish pond and so forth.
Obviously she photographs me - though she says the black makes it a bit difficult. I say not at all. Black is the most beautiful of all colours. I am adding a couple of black cats, myself included, just to make the point. I rather like the shaft of sunlight hitting me, as I play with a dead mouse - like one does.
It's not just taking our photos, is it? I think Celia shows signs of cat addiction. She spends a lot of time thinking about cats, obsessing about cats, planning her next cat, worrying about whether she has enough cats, and the only reason why she hasn't got hundreds of us, is that William and I would object strongly. In her heart of hearts she knows that our welfare must come before her disordered desires for too many felines. Her local branch of cat rescue is www.westoxoncats.co.uk There are usually a few black ones on the website because for some reason, although black cats are thought lucky in the UK, they are harder to home. People seem to think tabbies are prettier - how wrong they are.
It's quite amusing to tease human photographers. Put on a nice pose. Wait for them to run for their camera. Then just the instant they get it out and begin to focus it, drop the pose. A tease variation on this is just to walk towards the camera and rub on it. That frustrates any hope of a good photo. And it is fun to tease humans. They are so simple minded.
Love George
PS. Please sign this petition against the cruel practice of pulling out cats' claws. Cats need their claws just as much as humans need their fingernails. If not more. Click here -http://www.petitionthem.com/default.asp?sect=detail&pet=4312

Animals that attack cats.... watch out!

Dear George,
I was away at my cottage (for a short vacation) and I had to stay indoors most of the time because it was raining almost every day! However, one day, when I was allowed out, I had so much fun with a duck on the lake that I immediately wanted to adopt him. Of course -- my housekeepers thought differently.
I know my humans respect my royal demands but I think they need some "professional" help, as they tend to worry too much over everything concerning me! Rain is just one example of how my housekeepers' brain (so called) function. If it is raining... I might get wet. So what? If it is sunny and dry... I might venture too far from the cottage and some wild animals might get me! Blah!
So I was confined to watching from the cottage window all the squirrels, birds, mice and other exciting creatures! I also did a bit of research and I came across this list of the top ten animals that can harm us cats. Hmmm! Maybe my humans are right (uh! I hope I don't have to apologize to them). I know Oscar and Minnie are our big hunters bringing home snakes, mice, birds etc. And I read that Minnie is willing to put up a fight to protect her territory, so I thought I ought to share this list of dangerous animals with you all.
The top ten dangerous animals are 1: Snake. 2: Coyote. 3: Raccoon. 4:Squirrel. 5: Scorpion. 6: Javelina. 7: Porcupine. 8: Ground hog. 9: Skunk. 10: Rat. This comes from http://blogs.catster.com/the-cats-meow-a-cat-and-kitten-blog/top-ten-wild-animals-that-attack-house-pets/2009/07/26 It's based on a list from Veterinary Pet Insurance in Canada - or perhaps in the USA.
Scary, huh? And what is a Javelina? What's your take on this, George.
Just curious,
Sir Winston.

Dear Sir Winston,
A javelina is a kind of pig. Here's a photo. We don't have them in the UK. Indeed we don't have raccoons or scorpions or porcupines and I am not even sure what ground hog is! Except that there is Ground Hog Day movie.
Our dangerous animals in the UK would be foxes, badgers, and perhaps ferrets or polecats. Foxes definitely attack young, elderly or vulnerable cats. They would finish off any cat that was already wounded in a traffic accident, but usually will leave alone a strong healthy cat that looks as if it would put up a fight. Badgers would do the same but as they are slow moving it is unlikely they would get near enough to do any damage. Ferrets and polecats might attack too.
However the greatest danger to cats in the UK and worldwide are humans. Feral humans who shoot stray cats. Uncaring humans who trap or poison them as pests. Disgusting humans who think it is fun to train their dogs to chase cats. Cruel humans who catch up cats and skin them alive for their skins. Feral young humans, usually male, who torture them on bonfire night.
Then there is the slaughter of cats by drivers - some people say as many as 1 in 4 cats that are allowed out at night will be run over. The lights dazzle their eyes and they make a dash across the road in front of the vehicle. And finally there are the dog fighting community who train their dogs by throwing in living cats.
Some humans say of these cat-killing humans: "They are animals." They are not. They are far worse than any decent animal.
What is the most destructive species in the world? Homo sapiens.
Love George
I love going hunting on a moonlit night but my human keeps me in after dark.

Thank goodness I am not called Sootysnout!

Dear George,
My name is Tilly. A sensible and pleasant name, really, compared with some. But I know a Woodstock, a Camberwell, a Salisbury, a Quinine, a Cadbury, a Didcot, a Treacle, a Splash, a Gene, and even a Jezibel (which sounds rather fun). Why do humans choose these odd names? Admittedly there are lots of nice ordinary names like Sam, Ben, Chloe, Sacha, Daisy and Rosie. But why Didcot, almost the ugliest town in Britain? You might as well call a cat Carterton, undoubtedly the ugliest town in the UK. Just because it was born there? Not a very good reason, I think.
Coat colour seems to bring out naming in humans - Blackie, Sooty, Snowy, Smudge, Dusty, Ginger and so forth. Even the occasional feline, rather than canine, Spot. Perhaps I was lucky not to be called Blacknose or Sootysnout or just Nosey (which I am because I like to keep tabs on my humans). You can't rely on human intelligence, such as it is which is very limited indeed.
Yours, Tilly.

Dear Tilly,
I like my name George. Short so that my dumb human can use it easily. Manly too, which is rather a comfort in view of the snip I had earlier. Brave like my namesake saint who tackled dragons (I'd love to have a crack at a very very small one without fire breathing). We black cats, that are thought lucky in Britain but unlucky in the USA, need all the help we can get from a name. Why are we never called romantic names like Bagheera, like the black panther in Kipling's Mowgli stories, or just Panther, or why not Obama or Cleopatra?
Rescue centres could do so much more in the way of naming us. They often don't even think what a name can do for a cat. Give a cat a bad name and it will never be adapted. I mean "Purring Perly" (for a cat already named Perly) is so much nicer than "Piddles Perly" which I once saw. Other inventive possibilities, without changing the original name just adding to it, are"Playful Perly" or even "Perly the Purring King" or "Perly the Pearly Queen". These might catch the eye and they say something attractive about the cat.
One Rescue centre I know used to have too many black cats, so they photographed one totally black cat which had a good story for the press, named it Max and then as the adoption requests flooded in renamed ALL their black cats Max and homed them that way. Each adopter thought they were getting the original Max. Did that matter? Not at all. Most would be renamed anyway.
The truth is that names for cats show more about humans than about cats. And do we know our names? We do. But we ignore them if they are being used to call us in from the twilight hunting area or used as a rebuke when we have found an open butter dish.
Love George, Would-be Dragon Slayer.
PS. This idea of hunting dragons has sort of stuck in my mind.... small, wriggly and reptilian. Very tempting. Perhaps Oscar Snuggles would email me off the blog to tell me about his lizard techniques for my next blog. Then we could all look out for little dragons.
PPS. Blog a bit early this week as my secretary won't be doing it on Saturday.

I got a cold – help! Pills are so ugghhh

Dear George,
I must admit that we had a miserable summer so far! It was raining almost every day! Few days ago while I was on a “hunting” adventure I got caught in a really bad rain.
It was pouring and I got stuck between a bush and the house. Of course, I couldn’t get back in the house until the rain stopped and by then ….it was too late.
Next thing I know…there I am…sneezing, coughing and breathing “funny”.
My humans took me right away to the vet and of course, he did the whole protocol that I hate so much. He said that I have a cold and prescribed antibiotics…instructing my humans how to “push” them down my throat.
My question to you, dear George, is: how can a cat (that is vaccinated) catch a cold so easily? And a second question: can you make any suggestions to my humans on how to give me the antibiotic pill without “pushing” it down my throat?
Hopefully yours,
Minnie

Dear Minnie,
Even if a cat has been vaccinated, it can occasionally get a mild dose of cat 'flu or other kinds of respiratory problems. I guess that is what happened. It's still important to vaccinate against cat 'flu because without the protection of vaccination a severe attack can leave lifelong disability.
Pills! There is now a cat-friendly device for putting pills into cats (forget the pill gun which isn't) - Easytabs, a meat flavoured cover for a pill made by Bayer. The fact that Bayer has made this suggests that in the cat versus human struggle over pills, we WON. Below my signature is the old joke about pills and cats which in this case reflects reality. There is more detail on this (from the human point of view) on www.fabcats.org
From our point of view pushing pills into our throats is just a huge and painful intrusion! We are not greedy like dogs. We don't just gulp things down. When Celia hides a pill in a piece of cat food, I can smell it miles away and I do not approve of eating stuff that smells bad. We cats like fresh mice not rotting carcases like omnivorous dogs (who actually eat poo, would you believe.)
My favourite ploy with pills is to give the sneaky impression that I have swallowed them. I hold them in the side of my mouth. I did this successfully for six months, in the days when worming came only in pill form (now there is a spot-on). Celia couldn't understand why I always seemed to have tapeworms (from the fleas on the mice I ate). She is a sloven so only vaccuums under the spare bed when somebody is coming to stay. Pulling out the bed, she found my stash of worming pills. I had held them in my mouth than sneaked under the bed and had spat them out!
In theory the way to put a pill into a cat, is to kneel down and place the cat between your legs, facing outwards.With thumb and middle finger, pull cat’s head back until it is facing straight up at the ceiling. It is crucial that the cat’s head must be facing upwards at 90 degrees Use gentle pressure from thumb and middle finger on either side of the cat’s jaw, at rearmost crease of the lips, to open cat’s mouth. Pop tablet on the tongue as far back down the throat as possible. Close cat’s mouth and keep the head pointing up at the ceiling. Hey presto, the cat will swallow the pill.
In practice I can usually evade this one! We almost all can. That's why there is the familiar joke about cats and pills - below my signature. Cats rule.
Love George

Instructions For Giving Your Cat A Pill


1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foilwrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for vet to make a housecall.

Are cats really aggressive?

Dear George,

We are quite disturbed that one of our friends is not allowed to play outside because he was “aggressive” with one of his mom’s friends. To protest and make our mommy “do something” about this stupid situation we decided to wrack the house (as you can see in this photo – and we are allowed (sic)!).

Here is what happened; let’s call our friend “Mister” (not his real name).

Two days ago a friend of Mister’s mommy pay her a visit.

So….they were talking for a while when M’s mommy went to the kitchen to make a coffee. M was sitting quietly in the living room with his mom’s friend

We don’t know what happened there, we don’t know if she tried to pet him or do something, all we know is that M attacked her really bad. She couldn’t really defend herself since she had one leg in a cast. M was taken to a vet right away.

He was okay but scared since everybody was scramming at him.

We think that this is not right. We know that this friend of M’s mom has a cat. Could be her cat’s smell that drove M crazy? We are really worried about his welfare.

He is a really sweet, big, purring guy! Our “mommy” is working on his mom to calm her down and make her ask for some advice before jumping to conclusions.

We thought to ask for your help! What do you think it could trigger M’s reaction? Can you ask Celia to help, please (with typing, of course)?

Love & hugs

Fluffy & Cayenne

Dear Fluffy and Cayenne,

It may be that Mister saw something through the kitchen window and turned on the human in what is called redirected aggression (because he couldn't reach what was outside). More likely he was scared. Most aggressive cats are frightened cats. It may be that the human did something which terrified him (which she didn't realise) and he lashed out from fear. Could the plaster cast have hit him without the human realising it? If it was a big bite or a big scratch, it is likely to be fear. We can't be sure because it is not clear what happened.

Tell Mister's human not to jump to conclusions that he is an aggressive cat. He may just - at that moment - have been a very frightened cat. She should wait to see if Mister does this to anybody else. Keeping us cats indoors has its downside. If she is going to do this, she need to think how to give him more to do in the house - details for keeping indoor cats happy are on www.celiahaddon.com

One bite doesn't make an aggressive dog and one attack doesn't make an aggressive cat. Get Mister's human to read Celia's website on aggression and email her via that if necessary. We cats don't attack humans because we are "aggressive". We attack them because we are terrified, because we are frightened and want to make a human keep its distance, because we are starved of hunting opportunities (if we are indoor cats), or just occasionally because we are super confident cats that have learned to bite humans to get their attention.

Punishing us doesn't work. It makes us even more frightened and desperate. Take time to analyse what went wrong, and change things so that we cats can be our calm and loving selves. When the cat human relationship goes wrong, the human has to change the situation. We can't.

George

PS. I added on a photo of a cat looking aggressive. She was actually terrified.

Why do these apes think we don't feel pain?

Dear George,
I am a very senior lady cat of 19 years young and despite living all these years there is one particular thing (amongst many) about apes that utterly confounds me. Why do so very many apes (including rather too many vets) come out with nonsense statements such as "they don't feel pain like we do" ? All I know is that pain hurts and makes me miserable.
How else can a mammal feel pain? Do apes have sole rights to both the feeling of pain and its alleviation? Where does this crazy ape belief come from? After all, felines and simians are still mammalian and have similar nervous systems.
We cats do show our pain and discomfort albeit with more dignity and less fuss than apes, who can't resist screaming, jabbering and yelling about anything and everything in their strange primate world. I tell my apes when I hurt, I have trained them to be observant, but I really would like to know why so many apes believe that only apes feel pain in a way that deserves attention?
George, where did this insane belief come from?

Kind regards, Angel of Everycat (http://everycat.blogspot.com)

Dear Angel,
Humans are dumb animals - dumb meaning foolish. They are also the most arrogance species in the world. They think they are special and different, forgetting that they are just mammals like us. So because they think this way, they believe we don't feel pain. All living creatures feel pain. As you say, it is just that we deal with pain in a dignified and silent manner, unlike them.
This is particularly important for older cats who may have painful conditions like arthritis. Cats with arthritis may not even limp. The only sign maybe a reluctance to jump on or off the bed. Or just relative immobility in the cat bed. We are so brave and stoic that we suffer without symptoms but a vet has just published a paper suggesting that older cats sometimes need painkillers even though they are not limping. So, hey you human pets reading this, start doing a bit of simple observation and empathy.
You may be interested in the attached illustration of the tree of life. Traditionally, humans show this with humans at the top, on the grounds, they think, that they are top animal. A friend of mine, evolutionary scientist Charles Purrwin, has reorganised this so show the top species. What is it - cats, of course. Purrwin says I can publish this here. You can see the gorilla on the left and a little below, in his proper place well below cats, a sort of stick man - Homo non sapiens.
Yours ever,
George
PS. Lovely green eyes and a very good joke on your subsequent comment, Angel.

Why do humans let off these terrible fireworks without warning?

Dear George,
Throughout my four years of life, I have always been a cat noted as much for my steely feline nerves as well as my luxurious coat and whiskers. Lately, however, my nerves have been severely shaken by the relentless human tendency toward the prosecution of ridiculous, noisy, unpleasant "customs." I speak of the American habit of setting light to these foul-smelling and explosive "firecracker" contraptions all night long beginning on what is apparently some sort of human date of note, earlier this month, and continuing throughout the warm summer months. The noise is deafening, and the smell worse. My human has served me effectively during such things as violent thunderstorms, and I have trained her to provide me with brushing and a steady stream of tuna-flavored Pounce during such natural calamities; however, fireworks "displays" are a thousand times worse.
I hope that you will not judge me too harshly when I confess, feline to feline, that I apparently have some sort of weakness in the face of such events. Quite honestly, I have been logging a lot of time under the bed, in closets, and up draperies, and frankly, shaking. I can't stand the noise! My nerves are just about shot. My human, good soul, wishes to help. Aside from laying in a larger-than-usual supply of Pounce, how should I instruct her to serve me during these firework catastrophes in a manner which will make the situation more agreeable to me? (Incidentally, in her blockheaded human fashion, she does not appear to be unnerved by the explosions, per se, but rather by my reaction. I fear that causing her distress in this way will cause her performance in my service to suffer. It's hard enough to get good help these days, and I wish to retain her in my employment as long as possible.)
Anxiously, Puss-Puss.
P.S. Here I am in my favorite window. As you can see, I am quite calm, and serenely watching the juicy little birds hop about on the lawn.

Dear Puss-Puss,
You are right to be frightened. Humans are probably the most inconsiderate and destructive species in the world. They rarely consider our comfort - unless we train them to do so. But your human, trained by you, did not set off these fireworks. It must have been neighbouring humans who don't have cats and don't think of feline welfare. Or canine welfare, come to that. Some dogs are utterly terrified by these explosive noises
That said, your human obviously failed to foresee this significant date which is (I can reveal) July 4. Other dates are Fireworks Day in the UK, November 5 and New Year's Eve, December 31. Why these particular dates I have no idea. It's just part of the time-obsessed human way of life - special days in the year, strange intermittent two-day periods called 'weekends', so called 'holidays' when they desert us for several days. Clocks that tick, clocks that don't, computers that show time mouse tracks, alarm bells, cries of "You'll be late". They don't know how to settle to a sensible day-night routine based on light, a routine used by every other species that lives above ground. They live in fear of the future. They can't live just in the day like the rest of us do whether we are cats, birds or lilies of the field.
But I digress. If your human know in advance that fireworks are going off, the week before she could install a Feliway diffuser, which exudes a calming feline scent, or get a Feliway spray and spray your preferred room with it about ten minutes before the fireworks start. But if she doesn't know they are coming, its more difficult.
Most importantly, she must shut the cat flap so that you can't run out in fear and get lost. During Halloween or Fireworks day, there's the possiblity of feral humans catching you and throwing you in bonfires or hurling fireworks at you. She must keep you indoors from twilight onwards and give you somewhere to hide.
Keep your courage up. It's only a few days a year.
George.
PS. Keep away from cat lovers in the US who catch up black cats and hand them into animal shelters before Halloween. They have the best of motives but seven out of ten cats so handed in are euthanased. Only no-kill shelters can offer real safety.

Help stop the barbaric declawing of cats

Hi George,
We are just wondering if you know how declawed cats manage without their toe ends and claws ? As we live in England where declawing is thankfully banned, we have no friends without them who we can ask.How do they balance properly to walk,how do they groom their fur to regulate their body temperature and how do they exercise, as we need to dig our claws into our scratching posts to exercise our leg,shoulder and back muscles don't we ? Is that why so many of them get arthritis do you think ?
We know lots of USA cats don't go outside but they still need their claws anyway for all those things and what happens if they escape ? They have no defence have they ? We heard that some start biting due to being declawed , well we don't blame them ! And we also heard some stop using their litter trays as the first agony of trying with their painful stumps after the operation, stays in their mind forever.
Do you know George, some cats in the USA are even declawed on their back paws too, however do they scratch an itch ? Please sign our petition
Walter and Jozef
PS. That's me Jozef at the top and my friend Walter at the bottom. Both wearing our white bibs. Very smart!

Dear Walter and Jozef,
We UK cats are lucky that vets refuse to do this. I've signed (under Celia's name) the petition on http://www.petitionthem.com/default.asp?sect=detail&pet=4312 And I read your human's blog on http://kattaddorra.blogspot.com/ too.
Personally I feel that the house is much improved with frilled soft furnishings - particularly the arms of armchairs and sofas. I also have enjoyed, in my time, frilling the edges of long curtains - giving what I call the Bohemian gypsy look. I do have trouble with my human who doesn't share my ideas about decor. But pulling out my claws? She wouldn't be so cruel.
I have seen horrible pictures of cats with their paws bandaged as they recover from this operation. This is mutilation, like cutting the tails off dogs (or, in the USA, cutting their ears too).What is it about humans that they think cutting bits of living animals is OK. Pulling out finger nails was torture done by the Nazis and I think it is torture for animals too. I can't imagine what it is like to live without claws. They are an essential part of me. Imagine not being able to scratch an itch - horrible.
My soft furnishings enthusiasm has been modified by being given a scratching post in every room that I use - one in the bedroom, one in the living room and one in the upstairs bathroom. I use them all and I particularly enjoy the really tatty one that has bits hanging off it. I purrsuaded Celia not to change it for a new one as, like all cats, I like scratching posts that smell of the glands on my paws and that have nice stringy bits to scratch. We cats need to scratch. It is part of our natural behaviour. Apart from the pain of declawing, cats without claws must have difficulty making their living quarters smell right. And smell is so important to us.
Celia uses double sided sticky tape to stop my scratching the furniture (which she claims belongs to her though I know better). The stickiness is horrid so I don't scratch there again for about a month. She says the sofa looks odd with this tape all over it, but if she leaves it there for a month she can take it off for about three months before I notice and start scratching again. There's a posh version costing four times as much called Sticky Paws which looks slightly less odd.
Best of luck with the petition
George
PS. I read this blog on claws too -http://clawsforever.blogspot.com/2009/06/elsie-cant-lose-he-gets-it-both-ways.html

Outrageous human behaviour - screams over mice

Dear George,
Do you know of any books, something like “Understanding your cat for dummies”? If you do, please let me know. If such book doesn’t exist yet, please write one; my “parents” can be such an inspiration ☺ They are DUMMIES!!!!!!!
Last Sunday I was expecting to have breakfast with my mom when she, instead of making breakfast, picked up the phone and started talking with a friend! So, I waited (quietly) for her to finish her phone call. After about 30 minutes staring at her, I said to myself; “fine, let’s help her with breakfast”. That’s when I brought in the first mouse (quite dead) which I deposited at her feet.
She didn’t even blink. I could not believe this; usually she freaks! So, I waited for a sign from her! Nothing! She was still on that damn phone talking and talking and talking! I couldn’t take this any longer, so….I went out and got the second mouse (alive, but dizzy) that I deposited at her feet. She still didn’t blink! I tried to tell her…”hey, mommy….breakfast is served”! But, no response from her.
So…I started “eating” my breakfast alone! That’s when they both jumped, screaming and yelling and scaring the hell out of me! WHAT’S WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE who call themselves “my parents”? He grabbed my mouse and threw it away! Now, tell me George, what parent would take the food from their kid’s mouth and threw it away? See what I mean? You tell me what I should do now!
With lots of love …but …speechless, Minnie

Dear Minnie,
Humans ARE dummies. All cats over the age of eight weeks (old enough to understand humans) agree with your assessment. There's something seriously wrong in their attitude, particularly their attitude when we are kind enough to bring in mice for them. Do they tuck in and thank us? Do they praise us for our keen hunting skills? Do they gather round to admire us as we eat them? NO. NO. NO.
It is particularly painful for us when they just don't notice. Phones seem to do that to humans. They place these items (which can occasionally make interesting squeaking noises) near their ears and they vocalise repeatedly and meaninglessly into them. Very odd, very dysfunctional, behaviour. I personally have tried to take part in this, pushing my nose between phone and cheek, and received some very unpleasant human brushing off behaviour. It's some kind of sterotypic behaviour, compulsive and out of their control.
As for the screaming at mice... that can be more fun for us. Humans that jump up on chairs to avoid living mice are at least noticing us. I quite enjoyed Celia's frantic attempts to catch living mice, using a Wellington boot. The other day she had to try and catch a small wren nestling which (because wrens hide in small places like dry stone walls) flew into the corner of book cases etc rather than flying towards a window. It took her two hours to catch it in a dishcloth and liberate it. It had taken me a mere five minutes to grab it in the first place.
But, as you say, the principle is outrageous. They STEAL our mice. Without shame or second thoughts. Humans, why do we love them? Sometimes I don't know if I do.
Love George.
PS. Celia has just finished a book titled Cats Behaving Badly and Why we Still love them. I am busy writing the synopsis for a Cats' Guide to Humans so as to have my say.
PPS. Lovely tummy!

Look what I brought in... and where I put itl

Dear George,
This evening I brought home a frog from the garden and placed it in my waterbowl in the kitchen where it swam about most charmingly and gazed up at me out of the water. I was admiring it and experimenting with tapping it lightly on the head when to my amazement my human swooped down and covered the bowl up and took it out to the garden and emptied it. Can you explain why? Does this indicate she has some serious character flaw or just very low intelligence?
Yours mystified,
Chubby (Fluffums D'Wuffums)

Dear Chubby,
Humans don't get hunting. They have the predatory instinct but it is in a very warped and dysfunctional form. For a start, we are proper carnivores-only and they are omnivores. Like chimpanzees they eat fruit and veg as well as meat. We are designed for a meat-only diet. So our hunting instinct is intact, irresistable and highly efficient. Mice, rabbits, frogs... whatever, we hunt it.
Humans used to hunt but nowadays, instead, they shop. Shopping is the new hunting. It's really bad for them - sitting at a desk and ordering stuff online. Even before the net, they only walked a few yards from shop to shop. They ought to be out there slaughtering mammoths.
Of course, your human is of very low intelligence. They all are. No doubt you love her, and you want to think that she understands everything you say, but frankly she (and they) don't. They are dumb animals given to meaningless vocalising Blah blah blah. So it isn't a character flaw in her that she didn't understand the frog. It's just lack of mind. (For the zoologists among us cats, it's been proved that humans don't have theory of mind. Extensive tests with tail and ear movements have failed to show that they can really understand what we feel.)
So frogs... A sensible human would have taken it out of the bowl and eaten it with garlic as French humans do. Your human took it away and let it go. If she'd been a cat, she'd have let it go in order to have the pleasure of catching it again. But being human, she didn't. She did the first half of the sequence and then, in her mindless human way, forgot the second half. They can't concentrate on anything more than a few minutes, Chubby.
If you keep on bringing in frogs, you MIGHT be able to train her to leave them in the bowl but I doubt it. Just accept the things you cannot change - human limitations.

George

Brushing my teeth ... I don't think so!

Dear George,
The other night I heard my humans talking about “preventive dental care”. As I was trying to understand their point, I heard them mentioning “brushing”, “toothpaste”, solution, etc. Girrr! I’m pretty sure they were talking about me and my sister since they brush their teeth regularly and sometimes I even witness this disgusting human habit! We (Fluffy & I) are given some treats for “teeth health” on regular basis, plus we eat some “fresh/raw” meat twice a week. Don’t you think this is enough? Just…..out of curiosity; what is your advice regarding dental care? What do you do (or what other cats do) to maintain healthy gums & teeth? Wishing all cats healthy smiles & healthy teeth☺ Hugs Cayenne

Dear Cayenne,
They tried a toothbrush on me -- three times. First the vet, then Celia, then Celia once more. A huge piece of plastic wand with bristles attached which they put right into my mouth, pulling back my gums as they did so. In order to reach the teeth, they said. On top of the bristles was an agreeable paste tasting of malt, but that didn't make up for the way my mouth was being misused by these humans.
With the vet, I merely cowered in my basket looking helpless and afraid. That often rouses the mother in Celia and is enough to stop her. It didn't. Having bought the expensive kit from the vet, she went home and tried it on me. I wriggled and wriggled and when we cats wriggle we can be very difficult to hold. She tried a third time and it was enough. I bit her. Strong measures were called for and they worked.
Her methods then changed for the better. For a time, she used to give me about two square inches of thick ox heart. Very very tasty. A really good human idea. I adored it. True, the blood was messy on the kitchen floor as I tackled the business of trying to chew and eat. Alas, she stopped this on the ground she had to buy a whole ox heart and keep it in the freeze in slices and, moreover, it was difficult to get offal from the butcher in the first place.
Now she has settled for dental dried food. Till recently it was Hills prescription dental diet but I seem to have got an allergy to this and developed diarrhoea each time she gave it. I love it but it doesn't now love me. So instead she has changed brands to Royal Canin non prescription which claims to get rid of something like 57% of the tartar. I don't eat it all the time - just get given a small proportion as a treat. It meets with my approval
But the ox heart was by far the best. Try it, Cayenne, if you can persuade your human. We need good teeth to bite our humans when they step out of line!
Purr and rubs
George
PS. The vet inspects my teeth at vaccination time - important because dental resorptive lesions, tooth rot, are hell for cats. We move towards the food bowl, try a little food, then back off with the pain of it.