The way cats live in Serbia

 

My human has come back with information about the lifestyle of a Serbian cat named Radosh. He has what humans (idiots that they are) call an "owner," Darko.

Radosh's life is completely different from mine. I am kept indoors all the time and fussed over by my human. Radosh leads an extraordinarily free life.

Indeed,Darko, unlike my human, does not interfere in Radosh's life very much, except to feed him when he turns up. 

Radosh has never had the operation that changed me into a home-loving cat! He has all his bits.

In winter Radosh disappears completely. Last summer he turned up again fat and healthy but the summer before he turned up looking thin and not very well. 

Where had he been? It remains a mystery.

Darko has not the slightest idea. 

Is Radosh like an unfaithful human husband, two-timing Darko with another human? Purrhaps.

In the mountains of the Balkan nation of Serbia, cats live differently, apparently, from the way we cats in the UK live now.

I think we have a better lifestyle but we do miss out on adventure, hunting and love.

Pain makes us grumpy

 

My ears hurt. Don't touch me or I will nip

When I have a pain in my ears, my tummy or my joints, I get grumpy. I might even nip my human. I can't help it. What else can I do to stop her petting me in a painful place?

Humans just don't understand this. They think we are being vicious. They should remember that they get grumpy too when they are in pain.

This is Mr Nipper Spangles. He has ear mites or something similar. So he is worried about being petted anywhere near them. 

He nips if he sees a hand coming close to his ears. It's the only way he can avoid the risk of being hurt. It hurts if his ears are touched.

Purrlease. Check us out for pain if we get grumpy with our humans.

Humans feed us in the wrong wayl

 

 

Boomer has to search for his food - and it's fun

• Humans give us food in a bowl. It's boring. Why don't they give us fun hunting out food hidden round the house?
• Humans sometimes make us share a single food bowl with another cat. It's stressful. We cats prefer to eat alone.
• Humans think it is cute if we have to eat our food in a line of bowls close to each other. It's unnatural for us and stressful. 
• Humans often feed us twice a day with large portions. That's unnatural for us too. We would like 5-20 little nibbles a day.
• Humans think fat cats are funny. We suffer from arthritis and diabetes if we get too fat. 

Humans should wise up about what cats want.

Tips for sleeping on the bed.

 Why sleep on the bed, when your human takes up so much room? 

There are three reasons  

• The bed is large enough for both of you - just. 
• Although they take up a lot of room, humans give out a lot of heat during the night. They make a good hot water bottle. 
• It reminds them that we can sleep anywhere we choose and they will just have to get used to it.
  

And how do you manage that great lump of humanity during the night?

Here are my tips for a good night's sleep. 

• Start modestly. Put yourself in a position where the human thinks there is enough room..... 
• Only when they are asleep, move into the most comfortable position. 
• Edge them slowly out of the way. Slow and steady is the correct way to do it and if you do it this way it is remarkable what you can achieve.
• Resist the temptation to throw them off the bed completely. They will wake up and might take action against you. Keep them from falling off  - just. 

Be aware that the deluded fools think it is their bed.

What's in a roll....

This is the affectionate roll for a human

Human beings are illiterate. They read body language so badly that they do not realise the many meanings of the feline roll. They call it the "social roll", but it can be unsocial and even threatening.

OK, so sometimes I roll in order to greet my human. It doesn't mean I want a belly rub but it is a way of showing some affection. I guess that is the social roll.

Being friendly to another cat.

Sometimes I roll in front of another cat to show that I am trying to be friendly. Maybe that is the social roll too.

And sometimes I roll for fun during a play fight. I guess that is being social

The defensive roll ready to attack

But sometimes I roll in order to defend myself against another aggressive cat. It means I have all four paws, each with four dagger sharp claws, ready to rip out bits of his fur.  That is hardly being social in a kind sense.

And sometimes I roll around when I am playing with a dead mouse or a toy. That isn't social at all.

Playing with a mouse

So, humans, somehow you have got to factor in all these complications and not make easy (and false) categorisations.

As I said, humans are illiterate in body language.