Friday, March 29, 2024

Now it's Biden stealing feline rights...

Jill Biden -

 As an author in my own right, I felt irritated  about more publishing competition from humans. It's bad enough that my human, Celia, keeps making money out of writing cat books...

Now the First Lady, Jill Biden, is getting into the act - with a children's book about the White House cat, Willow.

I don't mean to be catty, but readers will note that she did not write a book about the Biden dog, Major, who bit several members of staff. He was sent away in disgrace to live with family friends.

Neither did she write about the next dog, a puppy called Commander. He bit various secret service agents on at least 10 occasions and finally bit the White House superintendant, responsible for walking him.

No, Jill Biden realised that writing about the Biden dogs was not going to go anywhere. So she settled for Willow, the White House cat who has so far not bitten anybody.

Will Willow bite back, when she realises her owner is making money out of her? I have, on occasion, bitten Celia when I thought she was taking liberties with my copyright.

Watch this space....




Saturday, March 23, 2024

Crazy cat men?

Men don't diet themselves or us

We cats are not misogynistic. We don't much care whether are our pets are male or female - though sometimes I have wished that both could be neutered. Humans would be so much easier to control, if they were without romantic interests.

For years male humans have sneered at women for loving cats too much. Now the tables are turned in the UK. More men than women are adopting cats from Cats Protection!

Is this good news for cats? I think it is. Male humans have larger laps than women so we can really stretch out. They will spend hours watching sport on TV giving us plenty of lap time.

Male humans often earn more money than women, so we can probably get more expensive food. But they usually don't diet themselves... or us!

Their bodies smell differently from female humans' bodies, but nowadays they are just as likely to use scents: so that's not a problem.

Disadvantages? Well, it is said that human males are more difficult to train than human females. This is not true. The advantage of training males is that they have no idea that they are being trained (ask any human female!).

It's important only to use reward methods of training for human males, as they are more likely to injure us if we nip or claw them. They don't mean to. It is just male lack of impulse control.

So careful training must start immediately using rewards like loud purring, kneading (avoid tender male body areas),  plaintive meows near food, and generally charming behaviour.

Human males are putty in our paws...


Saturday, March 16, 2024

Cat photos for free book return!

Sometimes - just occasionally - humans do something clever. So the George Online Cat Award for March 2024 goes to some of the public libraries in the US.

Instead of fining humans for returning books late or damaged, they are accepting pictures of cats instead of money. They reckon they will get back more books that way. (Details here)

It's part of Massachusetts libraries'  Meowness month of March. It doesn't have to be a cat photo. It can be a drawing, a painting or just a magazine picture of a cat. In return for this normal fees for lateness of damaging a book will be forgiven and their library card will be reactivate

Apart from my own best-selling book, I don't go in much for books. They are not soft enough to sit on and they take up space which I would prefer to see used as a cat retreat. 

But I have always treasured the silence in a good library and the way a good book can help my human sit down and provide a warm lap. 

So purrs and rubs to Massachusetts librarians.




Saturday, March 09, 2024

Purrlease... give oldies a home


Out there in cat pens there are hundreds of older cats that need homes. Brutally left without their humans, they will wait for months for a compassionate human to adopt them.

Fergus is a good example. He was brought into  an Oxford vet surgery by a kindly local woman. He was so thin that every single vertebra on his back was sticking out. He was starving to death.

He has lost his home when his owner died and was living rough at the age of about 11, definitely a geriatric age for cats. He could not have lasted much longer in the English winter.

The vets examined him, thought he was probably ill as well as starving and that the kindest thing to do would be to put him out of his suffering. Fergus gave deep throated purrs, rubbed himself against the staff, and generally showed he was a loving cat that wanted to live.

Sunshine Cat rescue in West Oxfordshire stepped in and paid for medical treatment - tests for diseases and dental work to pull out an infected tooth. Fergus meanwhile was eating as much as he possibly could!

Now he needs an adopter. He is eating three meals a day, and some extra dry food, putting on weight, and growing a glossy coat.

But he is in my spare room. And he's bored. And I don't want to live with another cat...



Saturday, March 02, 2024

Are you microchipped?


Are you microchipped? Of course you are. We feline bloggers are the lucky ones - up to date with our vaccinations, given regular vet care, and microchipped just in case.

Here in the UK about a third of cats are not. So if or when they get lost, there is no way of identifying their humans. If they are lucky enough to be picked up by a cat rescue organisation they just have to stay in a pen just hoping their humans will find out where they are.

Microchips also allow us to have a cat flap that closes against any feline intruders. This is so important for our mental health and feelings of security.

From June this summer it will be a legal requirement for all pet cats in the UK to be microchipped. All of them, whatever age and whatever their circumstances. There will be a fine of £500 for the humans who don't get this done.

I had my microchip put in when I was neutered - easily done and as I was out cold I didn't feel a thing. But even if I had been fully conscious it would have been no worse than what I feel with an injection.

If I could, I would microchip my human so I knew where she goes when she leaves the house. And then she could have her own security cat door to keep out burglars. But she is so stupid she won't do this.

Get yourself microchipped, if you don't already have one. Spread the word to dumb humans.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online