Signs that I am stressed ... ears and eyes

 

This cat is stressed and fearful.

When I am stressed and a bit frightened, I lower my ears towards the side of my head. So there is a bigger space at the top of my head, between each ear. 

I might swivel them back a little too - if I think I might need to defend myself. That puts them out of the way of an attack from the front.

And my pupils grow large as I need to see exactly what is going on. The photo shows a cat that is crouched low too. 

All these signs should be noted by our humans, but some of them are very bad at reading what we are saying. Or they think that stroking us will calm us down when we are frightened. 

Just the reverse usually. If we are scared at a human who is looking at us, we might even nip them if they put out a hand to grope us.

Respect for our feelings is what we want from humans. We don't always get it because they are so ignorant.

• They might learn a bit more if they read the book I have written under a joint pseudonym!
  
  
  
  

Signs that I am stressed - the quick head shake

I need a quick head shake when I feel stressed - often when my human has stroked me too much and I need to regain my serenity. 

It's such a quick head shake that often humans don't notice it. Or they just think I am rearranging my fur.

But it's like the way humans sometimes wriggle their shoulders or do a quick sigh.  Or fiddle with their hair.

A sign that I want to get back to equilibrium. It makes me feel a little  bit better. 

I can't show this in a still photo - my human has tried and it is just too difficult. So she is posting a video at the end of this post. 

 

Signs that I am stressed - the tongue flick

 When I am stressed, I lick my nose - a quick flick of the tongue upwards. This is another example of our body language that humans cannot seem notice. They are very unobservant.

It's not the licking of lips, when I am finishing up a meal. When I lick my lips after a meal, I do several licks in succession or my tongue goes right round my mouth into the sides of the mouth to pick up any food fragments that have been left behind.

This kind of mouth licking takes much longer and is more thorough. The stress tongue flick is a single flicking move and quick. So quick that humans usually miss it. So quick that it only takes about two seconds or even less.

If you have a really good human pet, they will learn about the quick tongue flick. They will begin to notice it. And they will be on the way to understanding  you.

Signs that I'm stressed - the quick lick

Humans often miss what we are telling them. They don't understand our body language. Indeed, they often just don't even see it.

Many of us have humans that just don't understand us.

This is the shoulder lick, which we all do when we are feeling a bit uneasy, or a bit fearful, or we want to calm ourselves down a little. It's a quick turn to the shoulder, and a quick lick on the fur.

It's like the "phew" noise that humans make when they are getting to the end of something stressful.

It's quick. So quick that humans usually miss it. They just don't understand what we are saying. So quick that it only takes about five seconds or even less.

If you have a really good human pet, they will learn about the quick shoulder lick. They will begin to notice it. And they will be on the way to understanding  you.