Should humans have a baby? Or should they have a kitten? It is question I have pondered every time I meet a single human with a cat. Surely, the advantages are on the side of getting a kitten rather than a human baby.
Humans enjoy thinking of their cats as their babies - witness the latest book Seven Cats I Have Loved.* "Deep in my heart I knew I couldn't really tell my feelings for my daughters apart from my feelings for my cats," admits the author.
Many humans lie about this. She doesn't.
So here are the advantages of cats or kitten companions rather than human companions.
- Kittens are much faster to learn how to use a litter tray. No nappies. No potty training. No bed wetting.
- Kittens and cats are much quieter than babies. No midnight crying (well, silence most of the time).
- If neutered early enough, there is no teenage dating to worry about. Neutering is not available for teenage humans.
- Humans will find kittens and cats much cheaper, even allowing for vet bills.
- Kittens and cats never talk back. They just walk away with dignity.
- Kittens are so purrfectly adorable. All that delicious fur. Gorgeous whiskers. None of that bald skin.
The sensible human choice has to be kittens or cats.
* Seven Cats I Have Loved by Anat Levit. Serpents' Tail. £9.99.