Imitate feline social distancing

We cats have been social distancing for years. It is what we do. We timeshare space when we live in the same house as other cats.
Humans often don't notice us doing that. But often even if we share the large bed, we will share at a distance. We only eat close too if our stupid humans force us to.
We keep our distance from stranger cats - and spend many hours just staring at each other, occasionally breaking off the eye contact, before moving away to an even safer distance.
We practice safe space all the time.
Urgent advice for humans,.... imitate your cat. 

• Read this book during the crisis. Order here.

 

COVID 19 and the butt kiss.

Are humans safe? We need a new etiquette to deal with diseased humans. I call it the butt kiss.
Humans are, unlike cats, very bad at washing. Standing for two minutes under the shower is no substitute for the thorough careful washing we give ourselves from nose to tail.
Now their general lack of hygeine is catching up on them and they are in a panic about a new virus.  Worse still it seems they may be able to pass this on to us. Or so the Hong Kong authorities seem to think. Read it here. 
They say humans should not be overly concerned and should not abandon their pets. But what about us cats? Surely we should be concerned. Our health may be at risk.
Should we abandon our humans? I think not. But, if you have a human that slobbers over you, or breathes in your face, turn your back and present butt. 
If they must kiss and slobber, they can kiss our backsides!

Cars - how we cats can use them

Dear George,
I am writing to ask whether you can advise me about cars. My female human used not to have a car but she has recently started a relationship with a male human who has one. This piece of metal stands outside the house door in the street every night.
I know from experience that when they move, they move fast and unpredictably. I nearly got run over one evening when I made a dash for home. Somehow I can't estimate their speed. So they are dangerous when making a growling noise and moving.
But is there anything I could do with it when it is stationery. It seems to take up a lot of room in the road.
Yours 
Stanley.

Dear Stanley,
Here are some suggestions with photos.
When cars are not moving they make excellent look-out points. If you jump on the bonnet or the top, you are safe from passing dogs, and you have a good view of the neighbourhood.
You can use them to shelter from the rain.
You can use them to admire your own reflection.
You can also use them for warmth. If they have been moving, then stop and go silent, you will find there is a warm spot on the bonnet just above the headlights. Very comforting in autumn.
Yours
George

Car safety - Traveling with a human!

Dear George,
Now that the holidays’ chaos and stress is over I’d like to get your opinion on a very much overlooked topic….which is “traveling with cats”!
You see, my Mom wanted to visit relatives across the pond. She got quite excited by the idea of “us” visiting cousins in the faraway land but soon her excitement fell flat once she realized she could not take me with her in the cabin! So, she gave up on the cousins and decided to go local which meant…..by car! I think I did dress for the occasion (as you can see in the photo) but I wasn’t happy at all! I have to complain because I didn’t get the passenger’s seat! Nooooo! She put me in my carrier in the back seat! This wasn’t fair! 
I wanted to enjoy the view but she wouldn’t have it any other way! I’ve seen other cats traveling in the passenger’s seat and not in a carrier! So I decided to punish her and make her life miserable so I meowed all the way back home. 
She seems to be hurt by my behaviour and since I love her very much and have no intention to punish her unnecessary I’d like to get your opinion on this issue. Maybe I was too hard on her?
Maybe…..maybe ….she was right? 
George, help please!
Minky 

Dear Minky,
I am sure you would have liked to be in the front seat and able to move around the car, but this is a safety issue. Humans are unreliable travelling companions and we have to be protected from their irresponsibility. They can forget that cat safety is paramount.
This is how I once wanted to travel in the car - it was a serious error on my part.

Let me tell you about Ada, a cat that was traveling unrestrained in a car. As her driver negotiated a small road, he was involved in a minor collision with another car. He forgot about Ada altogether, leaped out, and started sorting things out with the other driver.
Terrified, Ada leaped out too and took refuge in the hedge. She sat there rigid and unmoving with fear (luckily) so could be picked up by her driver. If she had fled rather than froze she might have been lost forever.
I hate saying this. Your human was right.
Your cat box was on the back seat and fastened down with a seat belt - important to stop it flying forward and hitting the driver on the head, precipitating a serious car crash.
Yours George. 
PS. Important details here for car travel, and airline travel in North America here with details of American airline policy on pets. Regulations about bringing in pets to the UK are complex and can be found here.