If cats designed catteries...

This cattery design looks modern but it gives the inmates no privacy from staring humans.

 If we cats designed catteries, the most important thing we would do is make sure every cattery has a hiding place. A proper one which gives complete privacy.

It's always scary going to a boarding cattery for the first time. It smells wrong. There are weird noises. And - worst of all - there are strange human beings STARING at us.

Staring is intimidating and stressful.

That's why we need a small area to which we can retreat, until we have got used to the pen and can spend some time rubbing around it to spread our scent so that it smells like home.

The worst cattery designs are those that just have a shelf and a blanket. If there is a high sided bed, that helps a little though not enough.

The other cattery designs we hate are those one where only glass separates us from the humans the other side.  We have to sit near the glass because that is the only heated area.

Nervous cats close their eyes and pretend to sleep - it's called feigned sleep and it is a sign of stress. Our bodies are tense, our back is humped up, and every now and again we turn our heads away from the staring humans.

Watch this video at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxnA1YL3KJw   and you will see what I mean.

OK, so you humans cannot afford to rebuild your cattery. We understand. But there is something you can do.

PLEASE give us a cardboard box (photo abovve)  to hide in. Or buy a Hide & Sleep (photo right) from Cats Protection which gives more protection.

 

Cats in hats

Dressing up cats is one of the more disgusting habits of young humans, usually females. It's uncomfortable, and it goes against the dignity of any decent cat. It's feline humiliation at its worst.

Cats hate hats. 

Now adult scientists are doing it and I am not sure whether to give it my approval or not. They have started crocheting little hats for cats, so that they can measure brain activity.

Demeaning? Yes. Should be stopped? Purrhaps not. The aim is to measure feline brain activity so as to learn more about chronic pain. 

Many of us older cats have severe arthritis. Our dumb human companions often don't notice this. We hide our pain and do not complain. Unlike them... have you ever heard two oldie humans swapping stories about their health? Pathetic.

So the aim of these hats is to benefit cats, not humans -- for a change. And although the cats in the Youtube report (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLyRnnprR-M) look very fed up with their hats, maybe their disgust is justified by the benefits that may result.

And, of course, this is non-invasive research. No cat is hurt in the process. Just made to feel very very undignified. What do other felines think?

The joy of scratching....

 

Humans amuse me! Particularly scientists! They have been studying why we scratch and have come up with some delightful theories - mainly that we scratch because we are stressed.

Ridiculous, of course. We scratch because we enjoy it. I love the way it makes my claws tingle, the relief when an old claw sheath falls off, the satisfaction of a good long stretch of the whole body.

It's fun, humans. We do it because we can - where we can, when we can, and how we can.

So maybe we scratch a bit more often to cheer ourselves up when we are stressed... but the basic reason is the joy of scratching.

Purrsonally I enjoy the edge of the sofa best. The furniture covering has just the right kind of tension to make my claws tingle. 

And  scratching on the furniture always gets my human's attention -  "Gerroffit" she shouts! So satisfying.

I also scratch the doormat when she comes home. This is a courtesy greeting to say "I am so pleased you came home, look at the way I show it."

Other pleasing scratch places are the  table legs in the kitchen, the door to the bedroom (when I am shut out by mistake) and of course the early morning scratch on the side of the bed to wake her up.

But best of all was the wonderful scratch I once had on an oak tree. Get your human to buy a forest.

 

Signs of stress in the shelter

 Many of my feline friends have found their forever homes after a spell in a cat shelter. Otherwise they would have continued to live rough on the street.

So shelters are good - but they are also very stressful for some of us. Most of us cats settle in fairly well and start to feel at home once we have rubbed our scent on the shelter surroundings and got used to strange noises, strange people and strange smells.

Most but not all. Some of us cats are particularly prone to stress and for us stressy cats time in a shelter can be hell - unless we have somewhere to hide.

So we do the best we can to hide. We close our eyes and pretend to sleep. Most humans think we are sleeping.

But the most intelligent humans can see that we are not - our bodies are tense and uptight, not relaxed and spread out, our feet are under our shoulders and firmly on the ground ready to run away, our ears are pointing downwards from anxiety, and every now and again we open an eye.

Here is a video of a cat pretending to sleep. Show it to your human, so that they can spot the signs. If they work in shelter, a cat who copes by pretending to sleep needs a hiding box.

Signs that I am stressed ... ears and eyes

 

This cat is stressed and fearful.

When I am stressed and a bit frightened, I lower my ears towards the side of my head. So there is a bigger space at the top of my head, between each ear. 

I might swivel them back a little too - if I think I might need to defend myself. That puts them out of the way of an attack from the front.

And my pupils grow large as I need to see exactly what is going on. The photo shows a cat that is crouched low too. 

All these signs should be noted by our humans, but some of them are very bad at reading what we are saying. Or they think that stroking us will calm us down when we are frightened. 

Just the reverse usually. If we are scared at a human who is looking at us, we might even nip them if they put out a hand to grope us.

Respect for our feelings is what we want from humans. We don't always get it because they are so ignorant.

• They might learn a bit more if they read the book I have written under a joint pseudonym!
  
  
  
  

Signs that I am stressed - the quick head shake

I need a quick head shake when I feel stressed - often when my human has stroked me too much and I need to regain my serenity. 

It's such a quick head shake that often humans don't notice it. Or they just think I am rearranging my fur.

But it's like the way humans sometimes wriggle their shoulders or do a quick sigh.  Or fiddle with their hair.

A sign that I want to get back to equilibrium. It makes me feel a little  bit better. 

I can't show this in a still photo - my human has tried and it is just too difficult. So she is posting a video at the end of this post.