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Showing posts with label zen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zen. Show all posts

Saturday, May 09, 2020

We are reclaiming the streets...

 Humans are beginning to learn their place in life - in the kitchen with a large pile of food envelopes. Then ready to provide a warm lap for a nap after our meal.
Meanwhile we are reclaiming the streets.  The horrible roaring machines that terrify us and are so destructive, with their revolting smells, are few in number. The irritating human pedestrians tottering along on two feet in ridiculous high heels are no longer interfering with our street patrols.
We have taken back the streets from them.
We can loll where we like. Investigate where we choose. Stroll along without worrying about traffic. Sit in contemplation without some human idiot wanting to interrupt our contemplation.
Learn from us, humans. 
Cats are everywhere... purrhaps this is the beginning of a happier, more serene, feline world.  

  • For advice on managing your human get this book here

Saturday, March 05, 2016

Cat-ha Yoga.....

Dear George, 
I need your help to set the record straight! Humans are claiming the fame for inventing yoga thousands of years ago which is absolutely not true! What it’s true thou is that, indeed, some thousands of years ago were some wise men (sages) observing us in utter admiration and, then they started copying our moves and poses! They quickly realized the benefit of breathing and stretching and they called this art Hatha Yoga (a mere typo as in truth it was Cat-ha Yoga).
We know humans are as flexible as dogs and that means ZERO flexibility (easily to observe in downward dog pose)! But us? Whoa! Just look at my twist in the photo attached! Can you see my perfect pose? Ah! That’s exactly what I mean! Do you see any human performing a twist to perfection? No! I tried to teach my human family but only one of my human kittens succeeded. She is very young and beautiful and very talented; she makes beautiful music and sings for me! I love her very much; like my own blood and flesh! She is so good now that I allowed her to teach other humans. 
But, George, how do we take back the credit as founders of yoga?

Dear Beau,
Humans really are maddening. Of course yoga was invented by cats. Indeed, we are still adding to the yoga poses. An acquaintance of yours, Lenny, developed a new asana called “Cat Slipping” as you can see in the photo on the blog for for May 22 last year. And we have been doing zen meditation and other forms of oriental spiritual practices from the times before we even thought of domesticating humans. 
How do we get humans to admit this? I don't think we can. They are just dumb an animals, desperately trying to aspire to our level of spiritual intelligence. 
But why not purrsuade your young human to start a cat and human class. I can recommend sharing Yoga sessions with humans: it is immensely amusing seeing them trying to do a cat stretch. Take a look at this session here. The sheer clumsiness of the humans has to be seen to be believed. What is rather nice is that the whole session was also in aid of cats adopting rescue humans. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

Deepak Chopra .... of cats!

Dear George,
Reading past letters I realized that kittydom is a buzz! It is such a joy to see cats becoming entrepreneurs, opening up businesses, taking vocational training or simply….improving their body, mind and spirit by taking up Tai Chi, Qi Gong or Zen meditation! We do really rule the world and, I can see why….the future is ours! I had my “aha” moment when I took up yoga! I even developed an important and, in my humble opinion, revolutionary asana called “Cat Slipping” as you can see in the photo attached! One can practice this pose throughout the day, anywhere and everywhere! My preferred location? Master bedroom! 
Favorite spot? For me…. my “daddy’s” side of the bed! Time? Especially when he’s ready to go to sleep! Timing is important and mine is just perfect! Benefits from practicing it? One is more relaxed, but mind sharper, one will look younger in minutes and above all…seeing your human’s perplexed face not knowing what to do! This is priceless! You don’t push Deepak Chopra off his chair, do you?
But, my daddy dared to push me aside last night and I’m much infuriated.
I’m taking three deep breaths now and start working on a plan how to relocate him on a couch in the living room or even better….down in the basement!
George, any suggestions?

Dear Lenny,
Pushing you off the chair is unacceptable behaviour in a human. No wonder you are infuriated. You need to climb back immediately and start re-inserting yourself on the chair slowly edging him off. If this doesn't work, get on the back of the armchair and start forcible grooming of his head. If he has a bald patch, groom this furiously. If not, rearrange his hair with tongue and claw. This often makes a human leave.
Forcing a human off your bed is going too far. I think he would be lonely on the downstairs couch or in the basement. Human welfare matters. Well behaved humans should be allowed to share the bed with us, as long as they don't take up too much space. Grooming them in the early hours or merely slowly moving them into a better position using your asana while they are asleep effectively repositions the human body.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online