Of mice, moonlight and Colin Firth

Dear George,

I’m thinking of becoming a magician! Do you know of any cats that turned magicians?

Last night I’ve watched with my mommy “Magic in the moonlight”. I loved the movie!

I love Colin Firth (hope you like him too)

Anyway, in the movie, right in the beginning, he makes a whole elephant to disappear!

Wow! Just like this - magic! I’ve got hooked on the movie and the tricks performed by world magicians! So, I was thinking to perform a magician’s trick for my mummy’s birthday entitled “Mouse on a run in the moonlight” I have the “moon” as you can see in the photo attached and I know the trick to get the mouse in! 

But, how do I make it stay inside that light globe and run like a guinea pig on a treadmill? That’s where I need your help! What do you think? Can we make it work?

With much appreciation

Gizmo

Dear Gizmo,

First catch your mouse! Then kill it. I don't think it will stay in that beautiful moon, whatever you do, if it is still alive. It will drop or leap out. And then you have a living mouse on the floor running around the house - something which scares human beings. 

They are a fearful species when it comes to rodents. They don't catch them. They don't eat them. And when we try to help out by bringing one in the house, they often stand on chairs shrieking. Now this is fun for us, but apparently not for them.
So, anything involving a mouse, will not work for a human.
Yours
George.
PS. My nephew, George 11 (see right photo),  is trying very hard to learn how to type with his paws. Readers will learn why next week. And also why the photo at the top has changed. 

Cats, sunburn and worse

Dear George,
I have a question for you and, hopefully you’ll have an answer for me!
Do cats get sunburns? The reason I’m asking is because I live on a Greek island and some days the heat is just too much! It is true I’m fortunate enough to live in a beautiful place by the sea but there is not much shade where I could hide from the blasting heat!
You see, I’m black just like you and the plant you see in the photo attached doesn’t provide me with proper shade!
My humans call me to come inside when they leave for work but, some days I just don’t feel like being locked inside the house. They leave me a bowl of water but nothing else! They worry I can get sunburns! Do you have any suggestions?
My mum is really interested in getting your opinion on this topic!
With warmest thanks   
Bad Boy Spiros 

Dear Spiros,
Yes, cats can get sunburned, mainly on places without hair like the inside of the ear of on the nose leather. The skin gets red, it's painful so we scratch it, and that is probably when humans notice.
But there's another danger - skin cancer. This is mainly found in cats that have white areas of skin, round their ear tips or face. These cats may need the affected area of their ears taken off by the vet. 
So what can be done about it. The single most important thing for cats in sunny areas is that they should stay in the shade during the heat of the sun. That may mean keeping them indoors from about 10am to about 4pm. Once we get used to this it's not too bad. It just means a siesta. After all we are dawn and twilight animals, so this routine suits us.
Sunblock? Yes, but don't let your human put human sunblock on us. Why not? Well zinc oxide is dangerous to dogs and probably to cats. And for cats there are other dangerous ingrediates -  homosalate, octyl slicylate, and ethylhexyl salicylate. These are fine for humans but bad for cats. Alternative products, like aloe vera, may be dangerous too.
There are now special pet products available. Get your humanm to buy these for your nose and ears. And make sure your human takes you to the vet if there are red and scratched areas on you.
Sometimes we need those hateful vets.
Yours,
George

PS. Sphynx cats or other hairless varieties shouldn't be let out into harsh sun.

Do not use any products with homosalate, octyl salicylate or ethylhexyl salicylate.

Read more at: https://wagwalking.com/cat/condition/sunburn

Do not use any products with homosalate, octyl salicylate or ethylhexyl salicylate.

Read more at: https://wagwalking.com/cat/condition/sunburn

Do not use any products with homosalate, octyl salicylate or ethylhexyl salicylate

Read more at: https://wagwalking.com/cat/condition/sunburn

How cats use cars

Dear George
Why does my human not like it when I climb up on the roof of her car? Doesn't she understand I am only trying to keep vigil so that I can ward off any would be intruders? How can I convey to her that I need higher lookouts to be able to provide even better surveillance and also more of them? This will also help me to spot prey but I won't leave any as a gift according to your previous advice! It is very hard work but if we can get them learn one thing at a time that way we can slowly make them better assistants to ourselves and our objectives.
Yours
Rupert

Dear Rupert,
Humans have not the slightest idea of how useful a parked car can be. They are like trees for urban cats. We can sit on them in order to be vigilant; we can hide below them; we can warm ourselves up on the bonnet of a car that is still warm; and we can leave scent messages on them.
As you say, they don't understand. They have the cheek to object when occasionally we leave paw prints on the car yet they don't give us any decent alternative high sitting points. Why not? Because they don't have the imagination to know we want them.
 So what can we do about this? Just be patient and purrhaps get them to read this blog.
Yours
George

Of cats and feline temper.....

Dear George, 

I think I have an anger management and impatience issue! Don’t get me wrong – I do a lot of soul-searching and self-development work! I meditate, I do yoga (as you can see in the photo attached), I chant (ah! you should listen to my meowing repertoire) and, still, at times, I feel like smacking someone, especially my humans when they don’t understand or pretend do not understand and are slow reacting to my demands! They say I’m high maintenance! Of course I am – I’m royalty after all, right? But, if I snap it won’t be pretty! So, George, do you think it’s me? What do I do?

Impatiently yours,

CAT Victoria

Dear Victora,
You are not alone. Dealing with humans on a daily basis can be absolutely maddening. It's been argued that humans can think but, apart from "higher" order thoughts such as Freudian analysis, Brexit and the God particle, it seems to me that they are just dumb animals. They lack both wisdom and understanding.
Be patient. I know you can be, because all cats are patient enough to sit at a mouse hole waiting for a mouse to poke its nose out. Apply this patience and your own purrsistence to your relationship with humans. They may have poor purrception but they can be trained. Do not give up. 
Yoga for cats works. It is true that we do have a little difficulty with one of the five guidelines for a harmonious life – asteya, non-stealing, but we are truly skilled in brahmacharya, the wise use of energy.
Yours
George.
PS. My nephew George is working on a book that will help cats in their dealings with humans.  It will be published in the UK this September.