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Saturday, April 25, 2020

Enough! Get out of my space, humans.

I have had enough of humans... As doorflap pets, they are delightful. As indoor-only pets they are a pest. Attention seeking all the time! 
I have my routine. After breakfast, the humans go out and I stroll round the garden before my noon nap. A long one usually and, if possible, in a patch of sunlight on the windowsill.
Round about tea time I begin to feel hungry and, if my human returns in time, I don't have to wait to long for my next meal. Another nap this time on the sofa in front of the TV and then supper before sharing the bed with my humans.
Now this routine has been ruined. They are always at home. In my face a lot of the time. I do not appreciate having my noon time nap interrupted. Nor do I want to nap on their laps. 
True, I now get lunch, but in the afternoon I am never left alone. They want to play fishing rod toys with me. Or brush me. Or just mess me about.
Let sleeping cats lie. Just get out of my space, humans. 


  • Read more about human management here. 

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Human panic and cat freedom.

We outdoor cats are so lucky. Unlike our humans we go outdoors on long hunting expeditions like Sam in this video.
They can't
This week they tried to stop us going out. According to the media, the British Veterinary Association ruled that all cats should stay indoors. We mounted an online feline protest. The BVA website crashed. And then - surprise, surprise - they bowed to feline internet power.
Their advice was modified... You can read it here.
Now they admit that it is only cats in households with Covid 19 that should be kept indoors. 
Purrsonally I think it's a typical human fuss. The chances of picking up the virus from my fur are nil -- I refuse to be picked up or cuddled by strangers.
So humans, listen up. You cannot catch the virus directly from your cat..... 
I am a cat and I go where I choose.


  • To learn more about idiotic humans buy my book here.

Saturday, April 04, 2020

Rat delivery to the isolated

 This week I did my best to help my isolated human. She has been having difficulties with online food deliveries so I set up my own rat delivery system.
I delivered two delicious rats. I couldn't resist a nibble so one of them was only half a rat. 
I put this one on my human's bed, where she would find it after her boring breakfast of porridge. Better than bacon I thought.
I was wrong. She shouted in anger and threw it away.
Maybe she didn't like being given the lower half, I thought.
So I went and got a second one, a whole one, still half alive, and delivered it to the living room.
Young, tender, still warm - it looked good on the red carpet.
I was proud of my efforts.
Was she pleased? No. This time she screamed, pushed it into a bucket with a stick and threw it in the hedge.
Humans don't do gratitude.


  • To learn more about human behaviour get my book here.


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org