There are no cats at the British coronation. Not a whisker of one.
Larry the famous Downing St cat was not invited to Westminster Abbey. Neither was Palmerston of the Foreign Office invited out of retirement for the occasion.
Attlee, the new cat who has adopted the Speaker at the House of Commons will also be absent. His pet, Sir Lindsey Hoyle, however, will attend in his place.
Rumour has it that there is no place for any feline at Buckingham Palace for one good reason. Dogs will pledge allegiance any day even if it is in return for a biscuit.
Cats won't. They don't do loyalty. Felines are republicans. They grovel to nobody. Canines are loyal royalists.
Remember the Civil War, when we cut off the head of Charles the First?
Who's for doing it again, fellow felines?