Friday, December 29, 2023

How I survive New Year

I've put up with a lot from my humans lately - disrupted routine, strange humans coming into my house, cracker pulling noises, lap time ruined by too much human catnip drinking, and a Christmas tree that smelled of dog urine from being put outside on the pavement.

Now another "festive" time threatens -- New Year. There are two major horrors for cats - firework bangs and cracks, and humans drinking too much of their liquid catnip. It's a dire time for cats.

And some humans make it worse - they try to fish me out from under the bed where I am hiding from the noise. Or they stop me seeking my safe place high up in the wardrobe.

Just leave us cats alone, if we are hiding. That is the way we cope with firework noises or drunk humans.  

Oh yes, and tempt us in early so that we are safely inside the house when it all starts up. Close the cat flap. Keep us safe.

One bit of fun to get revenge.... The morning after New Year's Eve, wake your hungover humans early by purring noisily in their ear. It never fails to upset them.

Saturday, December 23, 2023

Cat video travels from outer space.


A cat video (my human is a cat video addict) have now been beamed to the earth from outer space... well, why not? What other video would be sent?

It's another first for cats. We get everywhere. Every single place on Earth has cats - even above the arctic circle or on uninhabited islands. So space is not that new for us. We are natural explorers.

The spacecraft Psyche, currently 19 million miles away from Earth, sent the video starring Tater the cat. Psyche was launched in October and is on her way to metallic asteroid, circling the sun between Mars and Jupiter. You can read the whole story here.

And you can see the cat video here. Or, if for some odd human reason, you are more interested in space travel than cats, you can read about the mission here.

Think about this, when your human is being particularly annoying, refusing to let you put your nose into the Christmas cake basin or not giving you a single bit of the raw turkey innards. 

The first ever video from outer space showed Tater the cat. So we can afford to feel smug this Christmas.

Saturday, December 16, 2023

Seven ways to enjoy the Christmas tree

Here are some ideas of how to have fun with the Christmas tree.

  • Climbing. We indoor cats don't have much chance to climb. Make the most of this opportunity. 
  • Aim high. Get to the summit. It's fun when the tree topples over.
  • Baubles. They are small and light and shiny. Such fun to poke.  If you are lucky one will fall off and you can bat it round the room.
  • Twinkly lights on the tree. If you poke one of these, the others often start to move. Have fun. 
  • Electric wires on the little lights. There's something intriguing about wires and string.  Grip with your teeth and pull.
  • That pine odour stirs your instincts... will it make you want to mark the tree? Purrhaps....
  • Some trees have been left on the pavement and have been marked by passing dogs. You MUST spray your own scent to get rid of theirs.

And when it all crashes to the ground, you have had a happy Christmas. Your devoted human will simply put everything back and you can start again.

  • Still time to order this from Amazon. I like to help my human! Scroll down here and you can buy two different books by her in a package.


Saturday, December 09, 2023

Christmas .... This is warning no 2.

The dangers of human Christmas have begun. My human is packing presents using ribbons. 

Bits of string are interesting.... if you poke them, they wiggle. And if they are not too large, you can chew them. Not a good idea. I spent Boxing Day last year at the emergency vet.

What had tempted me to swallow the ribbon was the fact that it was tied round the turkey to keep the legs close to the body. It tasted of bird.  So I didn't just poke it. I ate it. That was not a good idea.

Boxing Day was not a happy day. I loathe and detest all vets.

And the emergency fee, paid by my human was even more mouthwatering than the ribbon itself. I regretted that impulse to swallow the ribbon...

Then there are those other tempting items. Little fairy lights, tree decorations, and of course the tree itself.

If you climb up the tree you can bring it crashing down - quite fun if you enjoy teasing your human. But you can also get pine needles in uncomfortable places!



  • I've written a book too. A far better book than the one written by my human (see post before this one). You can get my superior book here

Friday, December 01, 2023

Christmas... This is warning number 1.


It's beginning... the annual Humans-Go-Crazy winter festival. 

I noticed a half eaten mince pie on the pavement up the street. And there are fairy lights at night in some of the windows. Not good news for cats. At Christmas 2019 I was quite ill from eating a mince pie. It's the raisins inside the pastry that can be toxic.

And while turkey is delicious, the cooked bones can be dangerous. So can chocolate, alcohol and onions.

So far I haven't seen any new pot plants - thank goodness. Pointsetta isn't absolutely poisonous but it isn't very good for cats. Luckily I have never been tempted to eat any.

As for lilies they are far more dangerous. Even the pollen can poison us if it drops on our fur and we lick it off. My human cuts off the pollen stamens if she is given lilies. And she puts them high up out of reach. 

So start looking out for hazards, fellow cats. Next week I will talk about some more Christmas disasters.


  • If your human is seriously interested about cats, she might like this book for Christmas.

Saturday, November 25, 2023

Winter's here and cats need more than food.

 It's cold outside in the UK. Very cold. And there are homeless cats that may not survive the winter - unless humans help them.

I get impatient with humans that feed stray cats, but do nothing else. It's OK to feed my feline friends on the street. That's great. But stray cats need shelter too.

If you can't take in a cat to your home, and many humans can't, then feeding is not enough. If the cat is entirely feral, then put a cat flap into your garden shed or even put outside something like a dog kennel. 

We cats need a dry place urgently. We can survive the dry cold but we can't survive wet cold. So, humans should make sure we can shelter in the dry.

Better still - humans should take one more step. Find your local cat rescue people who can trap cats. Help them do this. Then the cat can either find a new home with humans or at least be neutered and spayed - this helps them survive better.

Don't just feed. Do more. Give dry shelter. Neuter and spay to help survival.

And for homeless pets, help them find a new warm home. Don't  let them freeze to death.

Saturday, November 18, 2023

Cyprus disease alert


Humans need to protect us. There is a serious disease that is killing cats like us in Cyprus. We need to ban the import of cats from that country NOW.

It's a severe version of FIP, a feline corona virus which causes FIP, and there isn't a cure for this. If this reaches the UK or the USA, any cat that has a cat flap may be at risk. And in Cyprus even indoor cats have been affected. The details can be read here. 

This is an urgent warning to all humans. Read up about this illness. Check that your cat has not been, and cannot be, in touch with any Cypriot imported feline. Quarantine all street cats carefully before admitting them into your home where there are other cats.

Hygeine in shelters and cat sanctuaries has never been so important. Any cat lover travelling back from Cyrpus should make sure they have washed their hands (changed their clothes) before handling their own cats.

We also need import bans.

Saturday, November 11, 2023

Bad "owners,'" cat hoarders, or cruel humans

Matted coat, heart murmur, kidney disease

Why are people cruel to us? Why do some humans kick us. The other day an elderly human kicked an elderly cat for no good reason. You can read about it here.

Of course, some humans are cruel to other animals like dogs and horses. Young humans who do this often grow up to be cruel to other humans.  

But a survey in l999 suggested that intentional cruelty was more commonly inflicted on cats than dogs. Cat killers may even boast about it. Or take videos of them hurting cats.

Then there are the ignorant cat "lovers," who are unintentionally cruel. If you are unlucky enough to live with them, you won't be neutered, or given veterinary treatment. If they move or go on holiday, they will leave you behind.

Some of these cat "owners" will even refuse to co-operate with organisations who offer to help. There are charities that can help with costs for those on benefits but they won't bother to use them.

Beware the mad compulsive  "rescuers". These are people who keep too many cats - a houseful of cats confined indoors that need veterinary care. They "love" the cats that they force to live in a disease-ridden house.

They usually refuse to admit that the cats are suffering and some have successfully got backing from ignorant social media people. They may even appeal for money or set themselves up as charities.

Please report these cat hoarders to your local RSPCA or Humane Society. If you find a rescue charity where there are scores of unvaccinated cats wandering around, or too many kept inside a single room or small building, or cats confined to rabbit hutches or tiny dirty crates, report them to the Charities Commission as well.

Humans who cannot or will not look after us properly should not live with a cat. Leave home if you can.

It's often better to be on the street than the live a life of confinement in filthy conditions.

  • Read what we want in a human home.

Saturday, November 04, 2023

Careers for cats - archeology.

Want a career in archeology? Felines can apply in Italy. These are jobs for cats that earn their food by rat catching. Not just strays, but cats with a career.

Take Augusto of the Coliseum, for instance. Augusto is so popular that he got too fat. Visitors would forget the ruins and start photographing and feeding him too many treats. His fat photo (taken by guide Carmelo Carubba) can be seen here.

Then there is the tabby and white cat of Pompeii. Much photographed near the restaurant, where she finds her daily cat food. And of course the cats in the Torre Argentina cat sanctuary.

Among Temples A, B, and D they can be found snoozing in the sunlight, or getting visitor attention on the walkways. They are the cats that have special needs which make adoption difficult and they can be "adopted" at a distance here.

As a much loved cat with a pet human, I don't fancy archeology. Though the rats sound great, and the visitors show proper admiration, I prefer lying under a radiator than lying under a Roman column!

Not for me the marble floors of a ruined temple. Give me the carpets of a human home! It's a pity that there are rarely rats, but the armchairs and beds make up for it.

Monday, October 16, 2023

Purring and its meanings



Hear Tilly purring here -

We purr, therefore we are. Yet the purr means different things, depending on what is happening around us. 

An example of the happy relaxed purr can be found here It is my friend, Tilly, being stroked. Yet we also purr (with a tiny cry inside the purr) when we want something. Purrhaps when we want food from our humans.

And finally, some of us purr when we are at the veterinary surgery. It's a way of trying to soothe our anxiety and it may even help our pain.

But how do we make this low noise? We are only small animals and small animals make high rather than low noises? Scientists used to think we were moving the muscles of our voicebox or larynx.

Now they think it may be because we have pads on our vocal chords which press together and then start vibrating automatically, making this low noise.

Aren't we wonderful?


  • To learn more about us buy Being Your Cat here

Sunday, October 15, 2023

The oldies need you.....

Elderly Maggie waits for someone to love her.

When we get old and our fur becomes tatty, we need kind humans to help us. Especially if we are in a shelter waiting for a home.

We can't look beautiful when we have arthritis and our fur gets a bit rough, in those areas where we can't groom it.

We can't look graceful, if our aches and pains stop us jumping up high or being athletic.

We can't catch the adopters' eye if we are sleeping rather than playing. And we do sleep a lot.

We can give love. But only if a human recognises that we want to be a loving pet, rather than an old cat stuck for weeks and weeks in a pen waiting.

So please adopt the elderly.

Saturday, October 07, 2023

I'm a tiger....


A domestic Bengal cat not a leopard!

We cats really are tigers -- small ones but nevertheless tigers. Or lions if you prefer. Tiny leopards in your kitchen?


Because we all have the same body plan and we all do the same thing - prey on other animals and eat them. We are totally carnivorous - "obligate carnivores" is the phrase.Or, you could say, serial killers.s

An evolution expert, Anjali Goswami, has said that we cats are perfect. We may vary in size but we don't change our shape and lifestyle pattern because we don't need to. 

Want to learn more? Read this interview in Scientific American. She says: Cats have nailed this one thing so well that they all do it and just come up with slightly different sizes. That’s why they’re perfect, evolutionarily. They don’t need variation."

There is one difference, however. Bit cats roar. We domestic cats purr. 

Which makes us even more purrfect....

Saturday, September 30, 2023

I am not a vegan....


Stupid, stupid humans! A ridiculous bit of "scientific" research says cats are healthier on a vegan diet... though the statistics themselves say nothing of the kind.

We are not vegans. We are carnivores. We have to eat meat to stay healthy. What is more we are totally carnivorous - obligate carnivores. Unlike humans who are omnivores and can live on a vegan diet as long as they take supplements.

What do we cats have to do to make humans stop being so silly. We need meat. We enjoy meat. Food matters to us. We will slowly sicken and die if we don't get what our body needs.

Humans, don't believe that nonsense. Feed us proper cat food, which will include meat as protein. And feed us the food that comes from respectable providers, not some jumped-up firm importing bad stuff from China.

If you don't believe me, ask a vet. 

This is a reliable blog. Some are not. Let's say it one more time....


Saturday, September 23, 2023

If cats were politicians....

 If cats were politicians, they'd do better than our politicians do.... After all, Larry the cat has lasted at number 10 Downing St much longer than any prime minister.

Now at last, a novel has come out which looks at what would happen in Whitehall if cats really were politicians. Cats whose humans read to them can find out more at

I can't read human scratch posts but I welcome the idea of cats ruling Britain. There is every chance they would do a better job than the current humans.

Larry has shown dedicated service to the nation, a lack of corruption, no interest in sexual assaults or gropes, and a consistent honesty that has not been evident among those who have tried to lead our nation.

Help for bored cats

Indoor cats like me can't help getting bored - unless, of course, our humans work at  home. (If so we can play with their keyboards and their mouse - so called but not as good as a real one!).

My human got me a Funboard - so that I can spend some time poking food out of it. There's a video at the end of this post showing how I work it.

I would really like a live mouse that I could chase round the house then grab and kill - just like cats do. But this is better than nothing. It won't work for a big cat like a Maine coon because the openings are too small for big paws, but it works for me, an average size cat.

It can be put in the dishwasher and wet food could be put in those little round bowls. Get your human to give you one. If your human can't afford one, get some home-made ideas from my Celia's website here. You could make a cardboard version of your own using old lavatory rolls.


Saturday, September 09, 2023

Good news for cats world domination....

The human brain is getting smaller. They are beginning to lose their capacity to out-think animals. Read the scientific details here. This is very good news.

Our world take-over will speed up as their thinking capacity shrinks. Purrsonally I have seen signs of a shrinking brain in my human already.

  • She's getting testy, unable to tolerate frustration. Some felines wonder if this is due to the heat wave. I think it is due to brain shrinkage.
  •  She is much less energetic than she used to be. It could be cognitive dysfunction of the elderly but it also could be brain shrinkage of her species.
  • She is getting more difficult to train even though I follow the excellent manual One Hundred Ways for a Cat to Train its Human. 
  • Her general capacity to anticipate and fulfil my demands is falling away.

These, of course, are the unpleasant signs of human brain shrinkage but in the long view it must be a good things. 

Roll on the day when we cats take over completely.

Saturday, September 02, 2023

Humans and a safe haven

 Why do humans insist on leaving their territory. They call it a "holiday" or a "vacation." They move out of their proper place and roam far afield - for no very good reason.

No sensible cat would do this. We cats live in our own habitual areas - a core territory with a safe den and then a hunting range. 

The hunting ranges is where we go about, even if we don't hunt. We patrol it. We make sure nothing has changed and, if it has, we sniff carefully and sometimes mark it with urine as a kind of post-it note to ourselves to double check and as a message to other cats if  they share our range.

If we are indoor-only cats, then this distinction between the core territory and the hunting range is not so clear. Even so we appreciate a safe haven area, like the core den, where we can retreat if there are upsets or changes within the house.

My core territory is on the bed of my human. That's where I go if there are strangers in the house. I feel safe there. And, if things go really bad like shouting or building work in the house, I can always go under the bed, itself. 

My friend Percy has his safe haven on the top shelf of the wardrobe! He feels safe high up.

Why don't humans have the same sense? They go hunting for food or for work outside the home, but why go away for a whole two weeks roaming far afield?

Humans really are a strange species.

Saturday, August 26, 2023

Techie help for lost cats

 At last... we cats are getting the same techie help as dogs. A microchip for all of us.

The law is changing in the UK and after June next year all pet cats must be microchipped by law. Why? So that if they get lost they can be more easily reunited with their humans.

Of course, I am microchipped. So is Jimmy, whose photo I used at the top of this blog. All responsible humans give us cats a microchip.

But there are still unthinking or old fashioned humans who don't bother to do this. And there are some humans that save a little bit of money by not doing it.

What will happen? Well, the unthinking humans may now be reminded by a vet to do this.

The truly unsatisfactory humans, the ones that don't bother to neuter us, still will not bother. But at least they will be liable for a fine.

It will make life easier for rescue shelters. A quick check for the chip... Easy. Cats with responsible human pets go home. 

Cats without responsible owners can be adopt better human that make better pets.

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Black is beautiful. And funny.

 Just some funny black cat photos of my uncle George, the founder of this column, to celebrate Black Cat Day last week and to commemorate his memory.

Saturday, August 12, 2023

An annoying human invention

My friend Tilly hunting in long grass

Wretched humans are destroying our way of life. We cats like hunting and we enjoy bringing home our prey through the cat flap to show off to our humans.

We would like congratulations from them but we usually get shrieks and dismay. We can live with that. Actually it is quite fun to see their reactions.

But now that fun is about to stop. Some horrible human scientists have come up with a cat flap that stops us from coming into the house with a mouse or a rat. It's so clever that it reads our face and can tell if there is something in our mouth.

What will they come up with next to ruin out lives?

Triumphant Toby brings home a rat to show off

Stop your human now! otherwise it will take an interest and join the early stages of this puritanical invention at kickstarter.

We have the right to  bring out prey home! Stand up for this!

Thursday, August 03, 2023

International Cat Day photos

 To celebrate International Cat Day next Tuesday I am posting pictures of international cats - taken by my secretary. Notice how other photographers cannot resist a cat snap either. Guess where! Answers at the bottom of the pix.


Answers: My street, Serbia, Pompeii, Isle of Man, Egypt, Orkney.

Friday, July 28, 2023

Play is more than just play

This is natural play with a dead mouse

Play isn't just play. It's important for our feline mental health, especially if we are indoor cats. We need it. 

It exercises not just out bodies but also our minds when our humans play fishing rod games with us. We can stalk and pounce and bat the toy on the end as if we were hunting.

I hunt a little bit indoors anyway. I hunt flies on the window pane and any other kind of insects indoors. I pounce on spiders and butterflies when I get the chance. I even eat them occasionally.

This is the same play with a toy indoors

But that's not enough because my human has such a tidy apartment with so few insects in it. I need more. I love chasing toys on the kitchen floor and I absolutely adore fishing rod games. 

So purrlease play with me. It's the theme for International Cat Day which is coming up soon. Find out more


Saturday, July 22, 2023

Why do humans lie on litter?

Even kittens know what sand is for.

 Humans are so weird. This time of year they leave their homes to go and spend hours lying in the sun on nature's litter tray -- the sea shore. Miles and miles of hot sand, ideal for feline use, are full of humans just lying there doing nothing!

There they are, with only a few bits of artificial fur (clothing), on sand. Sand is what I love too - but for digging and pooing in. Any heap of builder's sand, any child's sand pit, makes the ideal feline toilet. 

One of the misunderstanding between us cats and humans is just this. They really get upset when we use the kid's sandpit! Or - the next best place - the newly raked dry seedbed.

But why, oh why would they want to just lie on sand. The sand gets in all their nooks and crannies, but they don't seem to mind that. They don't seem to understand that sand is for toileting.

Now I enjoy lying in the sun. I love doing that. The sun on my fur, a little ripple of breeze, the warmth relaxing my whole body. So, no wonder they enjoy the sun too.

But if there's a choice I use paving or grass to lie on: sand is for other purposes.

It can't be the texture that attracts them, because they usually put down a towel or a bed. Maybe they like the company. They seem to lie there crowded against one another...

As I said, humans are so weird.

Friday, July 14, 2023

What if your human dies....

Marnie hates all cats and all humans

"What are you going to do if your human dies? She's old and her head fur has gone grey!" 

That is what a feline friend said to me the other day.

It set me thinking. What am I going to do? I hadn't thought of it at all. I looked at my human - arthritic, elderly, wrinkled skin and possibly even the first signs of cognitive dysfunction. 

Well, what was I going to do? She might not last long enough.

Alfie would fight me
As a middle aged cat, I didn't fancy leaving home through the cat flap. At least not without a plan. The neighbours on the right would take me in for a little while but they are trying to sell their house. But if I don't find someone else, I might starve.

The neighbours on the left wouldn't, because Alfie their cat would fight me to the death and perhaps kill me. He HATES me and I am frightened of him.

A little up to the left lives Marnie (see the top photo). Marnie patrols the street - nips humans, likes Natcho, but terrifies most other cats. So no 43 is no good to me. 

Natcho rules
Most of the humans in my street already have cats. I don't think Pauline could take me in because ginger Natcho would be horrible to me. He is very bossy and takes her for walks

Chester, opposite, lives indoors only and is scared of other cats so that is another cat-loving home ruled out.

I am going to have to make a survival plan -or get my human to redo her will and mention me in it. If all else fails I shall have to go back to Sunshine Cat Rescue or Cats Protection.

Meow......I will have to do a feline will in the event of HER death.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online