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Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Food bowls - what we like and what we don't.

Dear George,
I’m still scratching my head (metaphorically only) to understand why so much fuss about our food and water bowls. I never paid attention to what other cats eat or drink from because I took it for granted that we all eat and drink from stainless steel bowls but certainly this isn’t the case! 
Last night I paid a “welcome to the neighbourhood” visit to my next door kitty and, of course, since she’s the newest on the block I felt like it was my responsibility to check her food, water, surroundings, etc.- you know, just in case that one day I’d like to eat at her place! I’ve seen that she’s eating and drinking from plastic bowls that display little paws and cute kitty faces. 
I run back home to grab my mummy to show her these cute bowls! Oh boy, I still don’t know if that was a good idea since my mummy started lecturing this kitty’s human on the dangers of plastic bowls. She was firing at the poor guy strange names like mold, bacteria, PBA which impairs brain and neurological function, can create cat acne which actually is an allergic reaction and so she went on and on! I hope she didn’t scare the kitty or her human – both seems to be very nice!
George, what do you know about this topic? What bowls are safe for us?
Yours, 
Kitty K

Dear Kitty K,
I feel rather smug. I eat from an eco-bowl made from bamboo - https://www.becopets.com/cat-bowl It works well. I have a strong tongue (see photo of my friend Toby) and I need a stable dish.
Great strong groovy tongue
I don't care much for plastic (though I will eat from it if I must) because it has a smell that I can smell but humans can't. Nor do I like stainless steel because if my clumsy human trips on it or drops it, the noise frightens me. I can also see my reflection in it which can be scary. 
Ceramic is OK - that is what I have for my water bowls. I will also eat from them. They are more stable than plastic. I like more than one water bowl not next to the food bowl. We don't eat and drink at the same time like humans. It's not natural. And I like my bowl to be somewhere where I can eat while looking outwards, not eat looking into a wall. Seems safer that way somehow.
As for cute pictures on bowls, ignore them. They are there to make humans buy the bowl.  If I was choosing a bowl it would smell of mouse!
Yours
George

Saturday, April 20, 2019

Cats and the Easter bunny

Dear George,
I’m in talks with some friends and family (as you can see in the photo attached – I’m the one with the red collar) to form a trade union or a labor union as it is called in the USA! After my humans’ deceiving behaviour last week I decided to protect my group’s members’ interests and improving wages in the form of more treats/steaks per capita, hours of sleeping to be extended to 18 hours per day and better sleeping conditions that absolutely require master bedrooms to be available to us non-stop! 
Even if it really doesn’t matter what we do for a living, there’s a union with members who do the same thing. You might wonder what is our specific “trade” or skills that I want to protect. Well, one thing for sure is hunting. We are born hunters! So why are the humans trying to stop us from doing what comes naturally for us? If I catch a little bird or a little mouse my Mom is screaming out loud as she’s trying to get my prey out of my mouth! Phew! Unbelievable!
And the last deceiving act of my humans? They brought home a chocolate bunny and few chocolate chicks! This is not fair at all! Cats do not eat chocolate yet my Mom is telling me that we should have compassion and only eat fake bunnies! Really? What about the turkey she eats? Or that roasted beef?
You know what George? I’m having second thoughts - I want back that little bunny I hunted few days ago that she made me let go free! Very upsetting!  Anyway, wishing all cats & their humans:
A Happy Easter and a juicy roast!
Tommy

Dear Tommy,
The sheer hypocrisy of humans never fails to astound me! They sit down and gorge themselves on meat - beef, lamb, chicken, turkey, even pheasant. Here in the UK there are human hunters who shoot bunnies.  But when we bring in a simple little mouse for our dinner, they try to take it off us. 
My friend Toby pouncing high
The height of hypocrisy are humans who pursue foxes with a whole pack of dogs. They kill the fox and do not eat it. Yet when we play with mice, they condemn us for doing this before or without eating our prey. They are blind to their own faults and unfailingly critical of us when we behave like they do. They really have no moral compass.
A feline trades union? It probably won't work, Tommy. And don't be tempted by that chocolate bunny. Chocolate can kill cats. Just keep on hunting the real thing and stop bringing them home! I suggest finishing it off and eating it quietly just the other side of the cat flap or underneath a nearby bush in the garden where she cannot see you.
Enjoy your meal.
Yours
George



Saturday, March 23, 2019

Does your human smell good to you?

Dear George,
I’m sitting here scratching my head as I can’t figure out how we choose our humans. I’m not talking adopting or rescuing them! I’m talking about something that transcends that stage.
Let’s assume we already have adopted/rescued them for, let’s say a month now and, of course we share our forever home with them. We all try to adjust and, if we train them well from the beginning, they’ll make good servants!
Then….boom! We find ourselves more attached to one of them! Why is that? How do we decide which one?
The only thing I can think of …..is the smell! Even so, how come?
They don’t smell like bacon or cheese or mice (I’ve heard that some humans smell like rats though) or roasted beef? What people smell like? I know my mummy’s friends buy expensive perfumes but, the perfumes smell like flowers or grass…not necessary something to be attracted to. Men don’t use so much perfume, at least not the ones I know.
So, George, what makes humans appealing to us? Why am I so attached to my dad?
Just asking,
Leo

Dear Leo,
Why are we attached to them at all, Leo? If we care for humans, is it somehow the instinct to care for kittens? Gone wrong? Or at least gone odd! Obviously we adopt or rescue them because they will  house us in the manner that befits the superior species, and be good butlers, house maids, and cooks.
But why love them?  Why roll in front of them, sit touching them, climb on to their laps, bunt them, and sometimes even groom them? The relationship between cats and humans has only been going on for about 9000 years: they are only semi-domesticated (and some feline scientists argue that humans are not domesticated at all). 
I am sure scent plays a part in why we love one more than the other. I agree that the powerful odours that females use are often aversive to cats. Men have more of a nice cosy human odour. And, of course, who feeds us makes a difference too. Follow the food bowl and you may understand your preference better.
This is one of the great issues of our time, Leo, and I am still struggling for an explanation.
Yours
George 
PS. A good job they don't smell of mice. I'd be tempted to eat one.

Saturday, January 19, 2019

Excuse my French, but do cats fart?

Dear George,
I was sitting with my brother Stanley (the tabby in the photo attached) and our human parents watching a movie on Netflix. My Mom made a comment that someone had broken wind….looking towards us, the cats! Well, I thought this was totally disrespectful and discriminatory…under the circumstances! I certainly didn’t! Did Stanley? He meowed “nope”! Then, this left us with the assumption that one of our humans have farted! But…who? Daddy? Mommy? They won’t admit it! What else would you expect from humans? Plead guilty?
No way! However, regardless of who has farted last night…my question to you George is: do cats actually fart? And, if they do….why? What make them pass gas? Could this become a scary health issue?
Yours 
Rocky

Dear Rocky,
We do fart! But we are usually much quieter about it than humans! Indeed many humans never heard a feline fart, even when they have smelled it. With our superior hearing, of course, we can hear the wind being expelled. Very occasionally we do a loud one like this one here on YouTube.
We fart when we have eaten something that doesn't agree with us - cow's milk, other dairy products with lactose, human food, takeaway human meals, cheap pet food with lots of fillers and not much protein, or when we have gobbled down our food so fast that we have taken in air at the same time. Humans, please note, we need higher quality pet food and a place of safety to eat it!
Excessive farting may mean something is wrong, particularly if it is accompanied by a bloated tummy or loose stools. Possible causes are internal parasites like worms or giardia, or gastrointestinal disease. Some cats have food sensitivities and need a special diet.
I hate to say this, because I loathe and detest vets, but excessive gas needs a visit to the vet!
Yours
George

Sunday, December 02, 2018

Do cats need to take supplements?


Dear George,
I’m quite worried about my mummy as I believe she fell victim to marketing and advertising promoting supplements and superfoods for pets. Lately she behaves very strange and our kitchen start looking like an apothecary, if you know what I mean!
Little bottles and containers with mysterious stuff inside… on every single counter! When she’s preparing my food she’s like a pharmacist measuring and weighting powders and other things.
I’m damn sure she doesn’t try to poison me but all this it’s very unsettling for me! I heard her saying that I should get more anti-oxidants! Why? I don’t have “oxidants” in my body so why taking “anti” something that I don’t have? The other day I caught her ordering online some “super greens” for me.
Could this be genetically modified cat grass? If that’s what it is….then, no thank you! I would not have that – very damaging to anybody’s health. Our bodies are so much smaller compared to humans’ bodies! It will be devastating! I think she’s watching too many commercials on TV! Definitely she’s following too many holistic veterinarians (not that they are any different than the others…they all smell the same). George, I don’t know what to do about this situation! Do cats really need to take supplements? I need you advice! And, in the meantime I’ll have some “regular”, normal grown cat grass (oats) as you can see in the photo attached.
Chico

Dear Chico,
We cats are carnivores with a digestive system that is designed to eat the bodies of rodents, birds and insects. That means not just their flesh but their innards, their skin, their bones, etc. We probably eat a little green stuff in the rodent gut and we definitely eat grass occasionally.
An all-flesh diet of something like steak doesn't give us everything we need. Nor does an all-vegetable diet. Nor does an all-fish diet. An all-liver diet can kill us with hypervitaminosis. Feeding a home-made diet is complicated.
In the past we cats were fed scraps and milk and fish (those two items used to be cheap) and we supplemented our diet with catching mice and birds. Cats fed odd diets by their owners can still do that, as long as they have a cat flap. But cats that live indoors without a cat flap cannot do that.
So supplements for cats on home-made diets are a good idea. Which ones? Your owner should ask a qualified vet for advice and follow it. It's probably better to choose a well qualified vet and stick to their advice, rather than taking a piece of advice here and another there and maybe getting muddled.  As for TV commercials, Youtube "influencers," pet shops, etc - these are not the right places to get advice. They do not know enough.
You've gone through so much, you need the best, Chico.
Yours
George.

Saturday, August 18, 2018

Why do cats surf? Train the humans instead.

Dear George,
I have a question for you! The other night I caught my human pet watching videos with cats surfing! I know cats generally speaking don’t like water or crowded places so my question to you is: what’s wrong with these cats? One of them, Kuli seems to be very brave since she’s one eyed cat surfing in Hawaii. Another (her name is Dinga) was skateboarding on the streets! The youngest of all (Boomer) was water-skiing and jumping up the trees! Phew! Are they so desperately bored? Or are they somehow engineered? You know ….like in being “genetically modified”? I mean…look at me (photo attached) lying down comfortably in my favorite spot on my favorite couch and purring happy purrs! My human pet says I’m a couch potato! I ignore such comments! But, out of curiosity….are there cats that really enjoy these things?Are they bribed with treats or what? I’m sending you the links so you can watch the videos for yourself and give us your honest opinion!
All good,
Marty

Dear Marty,
I think these cats have made a big mistakes. They have let themselves be trained by humans instead of being the trainer and training their humans to do cat-like activities like climbing trees, catching mice or using a man flap instead of doors.
I look forward to the day when we will see these trained humans performing on Youtube. For instance, training Donald Trump to jump through a hoop would be fun. Or training Jeremy Corbyn to catch ducklings in St James' Park like Palmerston the cat. Or training Mrs May to ambush mice in the cabinet room. These would make great Youtube videos.
Yours
George
PS. 

Monday, April 23, 2018

What to do? I am bored alone in the house.

Dear George,
I live alone in a small house and I am not allowed out at all. I don't mind that too much, as I am frightened of the great outdoors.
I try to keep interested by chasing flies on the windowsill, zooming around the house after using the litter tray, and watching birds the other side of the glass - though this is a bit frustrating. My humans give me toy mice but I get bored with them rather quickly. Why don't my humans import some real mice and birds for me to hunt. That is what I would really like to do with my spare time.
Yours
Schwartz.

Dear Schwartz,
For some reason humans always refuse to give us live prey. And they think that a stuffed mouse is enough. Well it isn't. This is what your humans need to do....
  • Throw away the food bowl and feed you from food dispensers. Here's an easy one to make - watch here. Lots more home-made ideas here.
    Me trying to get food out of the box
  • And here is one that takes wet food. Watch here
  • Or just scatter dry food on the kitchen floor.
  • Or hide dry food round the house.
  • Lazer light toys are fun but can be very frustrating for cats - so no more five minutes maximum and each chase should finish with a treat (like catching the mouse!).
  • Have a whole box of toys and put out different ones every three days.
  • Lots of cardboard boxes, stable cat trees, and tunnels.
  • Give you 30 pounces with a fishing rod toy daily. They can do this while they are watching TV. 30 pounces a day is more or less what a hunting cat would do. 
Yours George.
PS. Some of these food ideas might lead to competition and conflict in a household with more than one indoor only cat.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Of Cats and Valentines... and the snip.

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Dear George,
My humans had a very romantic Valentine’s Day celebration: dinner by candlelight, a glass (or two) of champagne, chocolate, flowers and all that jazz! Of course, I did get a lot of attention for the occasion but I feel I’m missing romance in my life! Ah! I watched a movie -I think it’s called “a cat tale” – about a tomcat (Marcello) who falls in love with a gorgeous kitty (Jujube). I loved the movie! I can watch it again and again!
George, I think I’m in love with my next door neighbour – a tuxedo tomcat who wears his heart on his chest! He does visit my backyard occasionally but we’ve never been introduced. I’m planning a belated Valentine’s Day cat celebration and I want to invite him over! I need your advice in regards to dinner! Chocolate is out of question (as it is poisonous to us cats) and so is champagne! Then what? A live or dead mouse? What will be more romantic? Maybe ….some catnip? Just recreational, you know!
Yours….in love
Ida

Dear Ida,
Live or dead mouse? A live one is much more exciting. Warm too. You two could share the pleasure of hunting it round the room, but there is one great disadvantage.  It's not big enough to share, and do you have the self control to step back and let him eat all of it?
Dead? Yes, but two of them. Each placed in a separate bowl at a sensible distance. We cats have a tendency to want to eat whatever is in the other cat's bowl, rather than our own. This can lead to discord!
How to court him? Well we cats have a series of ways of flirting. We can roll on our side making come-on noises. We can rub against the feline loved one. We can twine tails. We can also - and this is the ultimate explicit come-on- lower ourselves on our front paws, leaving our backside higher up. This posture is ready for love.
And if you swivel your tail to one side, this a direct invitation. If he ignores this, then there's nothing more you can do. And, if he lives with humans, he might. For him, the snip may have made romance impossible. Like it has for me.
Yours
George

Saturday, January 27, 2018

Human obsession with weight....

Dear George,
I'll be very short and to the point. What defines a cat's normal weight?
We know that our standards and values are quite different from our humans’ but, still I think we should have this clearly stated and disclosed – what makes a cat normal, fat, overweight and obese? Some graphics will help as well if you have any (visual had always have a stronger impact). The reason I’m asking your help with this is because my mummy is obsessed with her weight (since she moved over to UK). I don’t know how skinny you are over there but she is already as fat as a toothpick! Is she too fat already?  Is this your norm? Why am I concerned? I’m very much concerned since I’ve heard her saying that I need to be on a diet! Ugh! Give me a break! Am I supposed to eat only “greens” as in this photo? Don’t think so, thank you! George, I personally think I’m normal! I’m OK with my weight! So, please help me as I don’t see myself munching all day long on catnip or greens only! Are these standards universal or do they differ from one continent to another? If they do, then tell me, please, of a continent where people have some meat on their bones so when I knead, I actually feel some soft, fat tissues that make me feel GOOD.
In ounces and pounds
Didina


Dear Didina,
I agree. Fat humans have much warmer squashier laps that a cat can really sink into or have a good satisfying knead.  We don't like thin humans. But it is a good idea for us to get too fat - after all, we want to be healthy.
Here's a great chart about cat weight. Useful for humans who are under or over feeding their cat.
Add captionWe
We don't have to eat greens to lose weight. That is for human omnivores, not us obligate carnivores. There are now plenty of cat foods on sale that help us stay trim. Vets can prescribe specialist foods for that.
But more importantly we need fun and exercise not just smaller bowls of food. In fact bowls are boring. If we get fed in food dispensers, meals take longer, are more fun, and give us some exercise. Ideas for fun food toys can be found here.
Yours
George.

Saturday, September 02, 2017

I'm bored.... the plight of an indoor cat.

Dear George,
My daily routine goes like this - eat dry food breakfast out of bowl, human leaves for work, nap. More daytime sleep. Human arrives back, eat supper out of bowl. Then, when I am ready to play, my human just sits in front of the television doing nothing.
So I climb on her knee. Sit there napping and purring for a bit. Climb off, have late night snack out of bowl. Then its bed time and we both nap. My only activity, apart from sleep, eat and litter tray, is the occasional bit of human attention on the days where she stays home.
This is dull, dull, dull. What can I do about this lifestyle?
Yours
April.

Dear April,
Yours is a common problem among indoor only cats. Your human needs to give you a climbing frame. She could use shelves or the drawers of an unwanted chest of drawers, like this photo shows. Leaping from one to another will give you some exercise.
Stop using that bowl. Get her to throw the dry food round the house so you have to hunt for it. Or make a food dispenser out of a lavatory roll, a plastic bottle, small cardboard boxes, or an old tennis ball  - examples here here. Hunting for food will be more fun.
And why hasn't she bought a fishing rod toy, so she can play with you from a distance while watching TV. Indoor cats need games. Get that idle human working for you.
Yours
George.
PS. Please comment with some other ideas.

Saturday, July 29, 2017

Danger.... raccoons are dining next door

Dear George, 
I’m following your blog for some time now and I really enjoy it! My mommy bought some of your books (whatever she could find at a local book store). We have recently moved to a village – countryside I would say! Nice and quiet, lots of trees and birds and plenty of backyard. But mommy is a little worried as she learned that our next door neighbor is feeding a family of raccoons in her backyard! Our house is not that close to hers but still within walking distance. Mommy is afraid that I’ll get hurt by these raccoons! I don’t even know how they look like – I didn’t see any yet – all I’ve seen so far were little lizards. Am I in any danger? What can we do?
With thanks
Julius

Dear Julius,   
Your human is right to be careful that you don't get into any danger. Raccoons don't usually attack cats and if they do, a full sized adult cat often sees them off. Elderly cats, very small cats and kittens might be more vulnerable.
Here's what your human needs to do to keep you safe. Firstly, make sure there is nothing to attract raccoons to your garden - no garbage, no vegetables, insects etc. Secondly, install a microchip operated cat flap (or a flap too small for a raccoon to squeeze through), that will only open for you. Thirdly, raccoons can climb but they can't jump high. So make sure that good fencing keeps them out.
Put items around the garden for you to jump on to get out of their way - garden chairs, garden tables, large plant pots with room for a cat, and maybe ledges on the fencing at various points. 
If humans were not so dumb, she could go politely to the neighbour and ask her to stop feeding them. But that might set off a neighbour quarrel and quarrelliing humans are difficult! I have had no success in counselling them. Inter-human aggression among neighbours is impossible to resolve.
Yours
George.

Saturday, July 08, 2017

Do I look fat in my fur? Do I need to diet?

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Dear George,
I don’t want to see anybody (as you can tell by the photo attached) - I’m mad!
I’m angry because my mummy dared to “body shame” me last night calling me “fat”.
Well, I don’t think I’m fat - I’m a big boy! I’m a large, well-built cat as my daddy said. 
I mean what’s the point for her to make me homemade food based on Dr. Pitcairn’s recipes and measure everything to be nutritionally balanced, mostly raw and mixed with some organic cooked vegies (1 tsp per meal) and then call me fat? I eat 3x a day small portions and that’s it! I don’t eat junk and I can’t open that fridge on my own!
But, there she goes calling me fat! Even more she said “obesity” it’s a pandemic in North America in both humans and pets! I didn’t understand exactly what she meant by this but, by the tone of her voice, it must be something really bad! Am I in any danger?
What is a pandemic? I didn’t want to ask her because I’m not talking to her now! George, is it really bad? What is the difference between being fat, overweight or obese? It must be a difference! How can one tell? Please look at my photo again and tell me I’m OK!
Yours ….in stones (won’t tell how many)
Chico

Dear Chico,
You may be a bit overweight but you are not obese (30% above the proper weight, which your owner can check with the vet). Here is a photo of really fat cat, Boomer. He was obese and he was suffering because of it. You couldn't see or even feel his ribs and he was so fat that he couldn't reach his backside to groom it, so he had mats there. He lived with a slightly demented elderly owner, who couldn't remember if Boomer had been fed. And because Boomer was bored - he was a young indoor-only cat - he kept asking for food.  And getting it every time.
We cats need exercise. I am lucky. I can leave the house through a cat flap and go hunting. When I am not doing that, I am patrolling my territory making sure I know where everything is and if there have been any changes in the garden or down my cart track. I do a lot of walking around. So I don't get fat. And I don't get too many treats either. Just three meals a day and nothing in between - apart from what I steal off the kitchen surfaces.
So get your owner to buy a fishing rod toy and play games with you using that. She can do it while watching TV. Play is good for her and play is good for you. Being obese can give us cats diabetes and arthritic pain. Just like humans.
Yours
Slimline George
PS. They eat delicious and varied meals but they expect us to eat the same bought cat food over and over again. It's not fair. At least your human cooks properly. Mine doesn't.


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Déjà vu roast chicken….even if …it never happened?


Dear George, 
I know we have a great 6th sense and we can feel and see energy that humans can’t perceive with their naked eyes but, I’ve never realized that in fact I could be so, so, soooo psychic! I mean how else would you explain my experience? You see….I had a déjà vu of an event that never happened. What would you make of it? But, here is my story! Last night I’ve seen my human placing a nice chunk of roasted chicken (leftover from their dinner) on the kitchen table. You see, I’ve never been interested in sharing dinner with my humans and so, I never did! But for whatever reasons when I’ve seen that roasted chicken on the table ….I had a déjà vu ….of the future if I may said so!  I’ve literally seen a good chunk of it “disappearing” into my mouth and down into my belly.
I HAVE SEEN IT!  So, when my human turned around and said “now, be a good boy”…I just ignored her as I knew what’s going to happen next! 
So, George….help me understand! Do I have paranormal abilities? Is it because I spend so much time in nature (as you can see in the photo attached).
Beau

Dear Beau,
Treasure that chicken deja vu (my paws can't do the accents!). It WILL happen and in my opinion, the sooner the better. Check out the kitchen table regularly. I always do. And you will be surprised what you find there, particularly if your human is absent-minded or just disappears for a moment to check her computer.
I have developed the psychic gaze. I use this to convey to my human that I would like a bit of chicken (or similar goody). Silent.  Intense. Yet conveying by 6th sense what I want her to understand. Humans, dumb creatures though they are, have more of a 6th sense than they know.
I also do the psychic garden trick. When she is out there, I just appear from nowhere. Silently, of course. So one moment she thinks I am not there: and then in a few seconds she sees me. This is a psychic trick that almost all cats play. I love doing it. Those hosta plants on your right would make it easy for you.
Yours
George.
PS. The thought of that roast chicken has made my mouth water, so I am just going to check out the kitchen table... you never know.

Saturday, April 08, 2017

Why are these cats pressing a bell? And who's in control?

Dear George,
I’ve been a long time follower of your blog but being very shy by nature I never got the courage to write or post a comment. Lately, as I start coming out of my shell I kind of see the world in a different light – not only more colorful but more playful as well! My humans are more playful and quite happy to entertain me! But what troubles me is one video they keep watching again and again and then…they try to copycat it. Here is the link to this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clm826hHxoA  George, please watch it and tell me ….is it just human silliness or what is it that people enjoy so much that they keep bribing us with treats? What exactly is the purpose? I’ve seen videos with Celia apparently training Toby and Tommy (here and here)! Why? Can you explain this to me?
I don’t get it!
Gratefully yours
Princess

Dear Princess,
They only think they are training us. We are training them. This video shows two cats proceeding to a higher level of training. By doing something silly like pressing the bells, they have trained their humans to give them treats. How good is that? Humans think they are training us: we know we are training them.
Most humans cannot be trained to this level. They are too dumb. They simply cannot credit what we cats can do and so they don't even try to respond. They just give us treats for nothing.... but it is sometimes more fun to do something funny to get a treat. The easiest silly-thing-to-do-for-food is to sit up on your hind legs.  Do this near a meal and there is a very good chance indeed you will get something tasty from the table!
From there it is a short step to doing all kinds of antics that will result of food. Try it. It's good food fun, particularly for indoor cats.
Yours
George 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

The Valentine Cat.


Dear George, 
I will never understand why some people celebrate Valentine’s Day and some will not. It’s such a nice, romantic celebration….or am I wrong? Hmm! Guess, it’s more of a personal or cultural choice. Anyway, yesterday as I was waiting for my mommy to come home, I’ve read a little book entitled “The Valentine Cat” – very touchy, very romantic. 
It is the story of a little, black kitten with a white heart on its forehead. The kitty was abandoned in the woods by irresponsible, cruel people but after many “adventures” (some good and some scary) in the end the kitty got to live in the royal palace with the Princess and its rescuer, a young artist. I must admit… I had tears in my eyes reading the story but the happy ending made me feel very good and optimistic. 
I believe I am irremediably romantic. And I was thinking that we, the cats, could (and should) celebrate Valentine’s Day too! I mean probably not in the same way some humans celebrate it as we all are “fixed and snipped” but platonically involved in a nice dinner and meow-conversation. What do you think? George, I’ll be very bold now as I have to ask: would you be my Valentine? I set the table (as you can see in the photo) and we shall have fresh fish for dinner!
Romantically yours,  
Didina

Dear Didina,
Platonically? Yes, if time and space purrmitted, I would have been your Valentine. But they don't, which reminds me of the Andrew Marvell poem, the only mathematical love poem I know:
The Definition of Love.....
      As lines, so loves oblique may well
      Themselves in every angle greet;
      But ours so truly parallel,
     Though infinite, can never meet.
Purrsonally I think there are some humans that would benefit from the snip. It would make bedtime so much calmer for us - none of that irritating thrashing about which interferes with a cat's need for sleep. And no noisy human kittens pulling our tails. Why can't we just neuter them? Make Valentine's Day platonic for them as well as us.
Yours in a grump
George 

Friday, February 10, 2017

Cookies for cats?

Dear George, 
You might wonder…..cookies for cats? You bet! Yummy, fresh, homemade as you can see in the photo attached! Made fresh by my Mommy using fresh eggs, sardines and sometimes tuna! Mmmm! Sooo yummy! And the best part? I can eat as many as I want as I don’t have to worry if I’m a size 2 or 4 or 6! I can be size 10 – what the heck! At my age? I’m 18 years young! I grew up with my Mommy, I mean we grew up together.
She is the most beautiful, lovely, fit mother any cat may wish for. But, between you and me, George? I think she sneaks in the kitchen at night and steals some of my cookies. I don’t mind; we share so much love that few cookies here and there it really doesn’t matter. One thing though! She plans to add some catnip to the next batch and I worry …is this going to affect her behaviour (in case she sneaks in the kitchen again)? 
What do you think George? Any suggestions?
Yours… a cookie lover
Angel

Dear Angel,
I am delighted to hear that you have acquired a good cook, devoted to producing fine feline food. I have the misfortune to employ only one household servant, who is incapable of cooking for me. She insisted that I eat take-away food out of envelopes or dried pellets from a large bag. Meanwhile she cooks herself delicious dinners of chicken, fish, and even sometimes beef. 
Theft among household staff is always a worry but there is little that we can do about it. When you adopt a human, you have to put up with their funny ways.  So I think your attitude is sensible.
Catnip in your food? A small amount should do no harm. Unlike humans who use and abuse their drugs of choice, such as alcohol and weed, we are always moderate in our appetites. When I sniff catnip, it is true that for a moment or two I may behave in a relaxed roll-about fashion: but humans become drunk or stoned for hours at a time. Catnip will make no difference to your human: it's not strong enough.
I think you have a real prize. If she steals a little, so what.... just enjoy the cookies that are left.
Yours enviously,
George

Saturday, December 17, 2016

What makes a cat a thief? Stealing or just sharing?

Dear George,

Tell me one thing: why is it OK for a squirrel to jump on the table on my patio and steal my food and things (as you can see in the photo attached) but isn’t OK for me to jump on the kitchen table to check (and share) my humans’ dinner?

Why my humans will find the squirrel amusing and quite entertaining to watch but would get upset with me being on the dinner table? Why would they call me a thief?

I’m not stealing anything….I’m only sharing dinner with them.

Actually, what make a cat to be a thief?

In the spirit of sharing

CAT Victoria

Dear Victoria,
Sharing your human's dinner? Finding an extra snack on the kitchen counter? Investigating a half open kitchen cupboard?  This is not theft. It is natural behaviour in our own home.
Humans have ridiculous ideas about ownership which they expect us to share. Feline morality is very different. It's finders keepers; what we find is ours. Yes, we do bring food for our kittens and sometimes we even bring a mouse as a present to our humans. But, on the whole, what ours is ours, and what is theirs' is also ours. "Thine's mine and mine's my own," as the famous Yorkshire cat proverb puts it.
My friend, Tommy, is becoming an excellent forager. Here is a photo of him investigating a kitchen cupboard! He has volunteered to do my Christmas message next week.
Happy Christmas, Victoria CAT. And thank you for your letters during the year.
George.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org