Saturday, September 30, 2023

I am not a vegan....


Stupid, stupid humans! A ridiculous bit of "scientific" research says cats are healthier on a vegan diet... though the statistics themselves say nothing of the kind.

We are not vegans. We are carnivores. We have to eat meat to stay healthy. What is more we are totally carnivorous - obligate carnivores. Unlike humans who are omnivores and can live on a vegan diet as long as they take supplements.

What do we cats have to do to make humans stop being so silly. We need meat. We enjoy meat. Food matters to us. We will slowly sicken and die if we don't get what our body needs.

Humans, don't believe that nonsense. Feed us proper cat food, which will include meat as protein. And feed us the food that comes from respectable providers, not some jumped-up firm importing bad stuff from China.

If you don't believe me, ask a vet. 

This is a reliable blog. Some are not. Let's say it one more time....


Saturday, September 23, 2023

If cats were politicians....

 If cats were politicians, they'd do better than our politicians do.... After all, Larry the cat has lasted at number 10 Downing St much longer than any prime minister.

Now at last, a novel has come out which looks at what would happen in Whitehall if cats really were politicians. Cats whose humans read to them can find out more at

I can't read human scratch posts but I welcome the idea of cats ruling Britain. There is every chance they would do a better job than the current humans.

Larry has shown dedicated service to the nation, a lack of corruption, no interest in sexual assaults or gropes, and a consistent honesty that has not been evident among those who have tried to lead our nation.

Help for bored cats

Indoor cats like me can't help getting bored - unless, of course, our humans work at  home. (If so we can play with their keyboards and their mouse - so called but not as good as a real one!).

My human got me a Funboard - so that I can spend some time poking food out of it. There's a video at the end of this post showing how I work it.

I would really like a live mouse that I could chase round the house then grab and kill - just like cats do. But this is better than nothing. It won't work for a big cat like a Maine coon because the openings are too small for big paws, but it works for me, an average size cat.

It can be put in the dishwasher and wet food could be put in those little round bowls. Get your human to give you one. If your human can't afford one, get some home-made ideas from my Celia's website here. You could make a cardboard version of your own using old lavatory rolls.


Saturday, September 09, 2023

Good news for cats world domination....

The human brain is getting smaller. They are beginning to lose their capacity to out-think animals. Read the scientific details here. This is very good news.

Our world take-over will speed up as their thinking capacity shrinks. Purrsonally I have seen signs of a shrinking brain in my human already.

  • She's getting testy, unable to tolerate frustration. Some felines wonder if this is due to the heat wave. I think it is due to brain shrinkage.
  •  She is much less energetic than she used to be. It could be cognitive dysfunction of the elderly but it also could be brain shrinkage of her species.
  • She is getting more difficult to train even though I follow the excellent manual One Hundred Ways for a Cat to Train its Human. 
  • Her general capacity to anticipate and fulfil my demands is falling away.

These, of course, are the unpleasant signs of human brain shrinkage but in the long view it must be a good things. 

Roll on the day when we cats take over completely.

Saturday, September 02, 2023

Humans and a safe haven

 Why do humans insist on leaving their territory. They call it a "holiday" or a "vacation." They move out of their proper place and roam far afield - for no very good reason.

No sensible cat would do this. We cats live in our own habitual areas - a core territory with a safe den and then a hunting range. 

The hunting ranges is where we go about, even if we don't hunt. We patrol it. We make sure nothing has changed and, if it has, we sniff carefully and sometimes mark it with urine as a kind of post-it note to ourselves to double check and as a message to other cats if  they share our range.

If we are indoor-only cats, then this distinction between the core territory and the hunting range is not so clear. Even so we appreciate a safe haven area, like the core den, where we can retreat if there are upsets or changes within the house.

My core territory is on the bed of my human. That's where I go if there are strangers in the house. I feel safe there. And, if things go really bad like shouting or building work in the house, I can always go under the bed, itself. 

My friend Percy has his safe haven on the top shelf of the wardrobe! He feels safe high up.

Why don't humans have the same sense? They go hunting for food or for work outside the home, but why go away for a whole two weeks roaming far afield?

Humans really are a strange species.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online