Saturday, September 12, 2009

Mice training for humans - my brilliant idea

Dear George,
I've trained my human to catch mice and other little furries! All you have to do is bring them indoors still alive and squeaking, then drop them and wait. The male human generally shouts out for the female one, then goes round shutting doors, and usually picks me up and takes me away somewhere while the female has to chase the mouse. She's getting quite good at it, but I don't know why her paws aren't any use - she always has a towel or a duster or something that she drops on the prey. I don't quite know what she thinks she's doing with it after that, but she goes out to the other end of the garden where it's a bit wild near the fence, and comes back with the cloth flapping. It may be clever of a human to catch things but it's really stupid to let them go! Why not try a taste? I recommend mouse or vole as a starter, though shrew isn't worth eating, and rat is only any good when young. It's funny how I feel hungry after eating my catch, and usually top up with a lot of biscuits. Humans just don't get it, do they?
Love Foggy,
PS This is me and Pansy on the bed.

Dear Foggy,
Training humans to chase mice is a good game. It's very amusing to see them blunder about crashing into the furniture, lying on their tummies poking mice from under the cooker, and generally doing their poor best. Some even jump up onto chairs and scream. Very satisfying.
There are other amusing things to do with a dead, or even a living mouse. Probably the best is simply to carry it into the bedroom and push it under the bedcovers, where it can be discovered later on in the evening by the human. Usually this results in a scream and jumping out of bed fast.
Other places to put a dead mouse include paper envelope files (my predecessor Fat Ada left one there), into the handbag (if it is left open), pushed down into shoes where it will not be discovered until the foot goes in, or - this is the big one - put it into the toaster. Your human will discover it when she comes down bleery eyed in the morning and if she only puts in one slice of bread, the smell of toasted mouse will waft into the air. Yes, it has been been done though I have forgotten the name of the brilliant cat that did it.
Meantime, have you trained your human to EAT the mouse? Bet you haven't.
Love George.
PS. My companion cat William has joined twitter and is boasting about his prowess. Find him on


  1. My humans always grab me up and my catch gets away. Last time I had a fine baby rabbit and when I came in the house my male human took me away into the bedroom while my female human helped MY rabbit find the door to the outside. I was furious! I have figured out if I want to keep my catch I have to stay outside.

  2. Dead mouse in the toaster?


    Will be trying this out soonest. Great suggestion. I can't wait to see the apes gagging and blowing a gasket when they catch a whiff of super heated mouse!


    Wicked Wuudler

    PS: Lovely picture of Foggy & Pansy. Ape is making "awwwwwww" noises here.

  3. Congratulations Foggy(if you trained your humans to hunt mice)! I tried to train mine but they are hopeless (see my older post "Of Mice and Men")

  4. Hey Foggy,
    It seems that your humans exhibit some "dog behavior" :-) Bet she "digs and hides" the prey near that fence! Sneak out and check how many holes did she dig so far!

    PS. Wicked Wuudler, guess....apes looking at us...are in a constant "awwwww" :-)

  5. Guys, can you believe that I was "punished" to stay inside because of the trouble I was getting into lately? And's too cold to go outside. I'm fuming!
    I wonder who took over my territory since my humans aren't able to hunt.

  6. Oh boy! You have one lazy male human!
    "Drop" one mouse (alive) in his shoes!
    Force him to hunt.


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online