Music for cats.... where can I find something suitable?

Dear George,
I need to consult you about human music. My humans feel the need to have music on almost all the time. The male has a preference for loud rock music, while the female prefers classical music - baroque, actually. I find the latter just about acceptable.
But the former is really hard on my ears. It thumps through the house and I find it difficult to ignore. Where can I find some music which is more suitable than this?
Yours
Sam.

Dear Tony,
Human scientists have been studying this and have proved that classical music, like Mozart, is less stressful for cats than loud pop or rock.
Better still, there is a human called David Teie who has composed special music for cats! He has had the good sense to pitch is two octaves higher than similar human classical music! Cozmo's Air, so called, has a rhythmic pulse similar to purring and Rusty's Ballad has a rhythm similar to kittens suckling. The notes slide up and down rather like cats miaows.
Cats much preferred it to human music, when a scientist Charles Snowdon tested it! Teie has now produced an album which can be heard here. Get your human to play it to you. 
And make your appreciation known by purring loudly in time to it.
Yours
George

Cats can talk.... but I don't bother.

Dear George,
Do you bother to speak with your human? I don't. I communicate in the proper feline way - rubbing, up-tail greeting, belly flop and body postures.
But I don't miaow...
It isn't really natural for me to make that particular noise. I mean, other than Siamese breeds, we don't do a lot of noisy talk between ourselves when we are adults. We are silent most of the time.
Humans yatter to us all the time - blah, blah, blah. I have wondered if they actually have some kind of language or whether these are just meaningless noises to get our attention. 
What's your view on this?
Silent Sid.

Dear Sid,
I strongly believe that there is some kind of language used by humans in their noisy vocalisations. They must mean something, otherwise they wouldn't go on so much. But feline research, even by experts like me, has so far drawn a blank. 
They can't use body language properly. They have no tails or movable whiskers, for one thing. They are nose blind, so they cannot use scent. Therefore it makes sense that they vocalise instead. I have noticed that my human pet, Celia, responds quite well if I miaow. So I use it to get her attention when I want feeding. Might be worth your while to try it. 
Or perhaps you have trained her silently so long that it's not worth the effort.
Yours
George.
PS. Celia did a video on this which can be seen here.

Small and dirty litter trays = slovenly humans.

Dear George,
I have a problem with my litter tray. It is too small. Look at it. I am not a large cat but she has given me a tray that is only just my size. In order to dig I have to leave my bottom outside it, dig the hole, then turn round and place my bottom over the hole. It's difficult. 
Worse still she doesn't keep it clean enough. I am digging through my own waste. She only clears it out once a day and sometimes once two days. I hate getting my paws soiled. And yet that is what I have to do each time I want to use it.

My litter tray - too small, too dirty

I have a cat flap but I never use it because I am frightened of the big cat next door who bullies me. I dare not use the flowerbeds in case he attacks me while I am toileting....
What to do?
Yours
Betty the Birman.


Dear Betty,
You have only one choice. You will have to start going outside the tray. Yes, I know you don't want to. But what else can you do to get the message across?
Small litter trays and slovenly humans are a bug bear of mine. They wouldn't want to have to pick their way through human waste products in order to relieve themselves. Particularly if, like us, they had bare feet. Why make us do it?
I made my views very clear to Celia who has given a short talk on the topic to her fellow humans. Get yours to look at it here.
Yours
George

Help - intruders.... I am having to defend the house.

Dear George,
I have been having troubles with a neighbour, who comes in through my cat flap and eats my food in the utility room at night. Worse still, he left a urine message in the kitchen.
Naturally, I over-marked this, to make it clear that the house is my core territory and I do not appreciate feline intruders. Particularly those who leave mark in my house.
This has happened several times and several times I have felt the need to remark my territory. Not just at the original site but also under the window where I can see him lurking on the wall.
My humans have started shouting at me, when they see me doing this!
Help. It's not my fault but they are blaming me.
Yours
Sebastian.

Dear Sebastian,
Your behaviour is right and natural. It is your humans who are in error. Their behaviour is grossly unfair. They simply do not understand the level of social insecurity which is making you mark. Indeed, they are so hopelessly scent blind they cannot even smell that there are two messages - one is the intruder's and one is yours.
What to do?
Somehow you have to purrsuade them to buy a microchip cat flap - as a start. So you will feel safe indoors. It will also help if they clean up properly - no disinfectant, just enzymatic washing liquid on every single site. Then a squirt of Feliway Classic daily for at least a month. There are more instructions here
It may be necessary for them to get help from a cat behaviour counsellor if they can't understand. This is a huge dilemma for you. I do hope they get help.
Yours 
George

Why are humans so silly about cat colour...

Dear George,
I am a scaredy but loving cat looking for a loving home but I have just turned one down.  He wanted me because I was the same colour as one of his earlier cats... not a good reason, I think.
He also wanted to feed me dry food. I love it, but it doesn't love me. Because I spent the first 6 months of my life nearly starving and frightened, I find ordinary food difficult to digest.
I also have a weepy eye, possibly due to scarring from cat flu. And this would-be adopter didn't have a car so that taking me to a vet would be difficult.
Not the right home. 
But will I get one?
Yours 
Stella.

Dear Stella,
Why, oh why do humans choose cats just for their colour. It's a ridiculous reason for adopting a cat. They should choose a cat to fit the lifestyle on offer.
You did the right thing. A home has to be right for you, not just any old home. Your earlier starvation and stress means that you cannot settle for less. Robust confident cats can thrive in any home. Fearful cats with possible health issues cannot.
You need a human who will feed you a bland diet for as long as it takes for your digestion to recover, with enough money for possible vet bills (they won't insure you with your background I think), a car for trips to the vet. If there is anybody in the Oxford or West Oxford area who fits the bill, please contact Sunshine Cat Rescue - www.sunshinecatrescue.org.uk
In the mean time eat well, sleep a lot, and get Celia to cuddle you - which you enjoy greatly.
Yours
George