Saturday, February 01, 2025

Lessons for humans. 1. Keep clean


I wish humans could learn to wash as often as I do - and to do a more thorough job. I clean every area of my body at least three or four times daily.

Indeed about 20% of my time is spent washing myself - my tail, my paws, my back, my belly and those intimate areas that I reach by pushing one leg in the air while balancing on my backside.

Humans can't do that.

Instead they wallow in water in a bath sometimes for hours, or what seems like hours. Too long I think.

Picked up as a stray, Caesar has a good wash

The impatient ones step into a shower and spend perhaps 10 minutes or so washing.  Not enough time, I think.

I could teach my human how to do a better job, just using her tongue. she could start with her toes and move upwards.... 

 

Don't forget the tail

Only she can't. She is just not flexible enough. And her tongue doesn't have those little hooks that mine does.


She has a pathetic tongue. It is sort of floppy and smooth on the surface. No good for washing fur and not much use even for the bald human skin.

Sad...

Saturday, January 18, 2025

How to wake up your human

 

Chest kneading

Humans are lazy animals. Every now and again, they refuse to wake up on what they call "Sunday." (And, no, I don't know what that means.)

 It is necessary to wake them. Here are some methods contributed by various cats who have refined their individual technique.

  • Heavy kneading on the human chest.
  • The flying pounce.
  • The loud purr in ear.
  • The gentle ear nip.
  • Walking up and down the body.
  • Loud mewing.
  • Jumping on and off the bed.
  • Nipping toes protruding from the duvet.
  • Face to face rubbing, with or without purr.
  • Backing the butt close to the human nose.... yes, that works!
  • Bringing a dead rat on to the bed.


But the ultimate wake up call is a living rat on pillow. That always works. And it works fast.



Friday, January 10, 2025

When forever isn't forever.


 Merlin, the beautiful grey cat in this photo, has had bad luck. He has had to move four times in the last 8 months. And he is a very lovable easy cat.

First he was handed into a UK rescue and adopted by a suitable woman. But she had just lost her previous cat and decided her decision had been too fast. She needed to mourn a little more.

So Merlin went as a foster cat to Celia, living in one room for about two months, before finding another home. This time with a charming young man who had just the right living quarters for him.

But then disaster struck. Merlin's third owner was given a new job in London, and could not afford to rent a home that was suitable for a cat.

So now Merlin needs yet another home. It will be his fourth, if you count the time he spend with Celia in her spare bedroom.

He's a beautiful grey cat, friendly, without any bad habits.

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org