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Saturday, January 04, 2020

Catnip versus alcohol - punishing humans

Toby demonstrates recreational and moderate use of catnip
Humans behave very badly indeed at the New Year - drinking quantities of alcohol without any feline moderation. They blunder about, get rude and silly, sometimes vomit and occasionally even lose control of their bladder. 
It's disgusting.
We felines are recreational drug users and we admittedly roll around in a silly way when sniffing catnip. However we know when to stop.... unlike many humans. 
How to punish drunk humans? Here is what to do.
  • Avoid them while they are still drinking. The spare room or even under the bed may be necessary.
  • Wait till they are horizontal to assess the situation.
  • If they are motionless, use their body as a warm pillow until they start moving. 
  • Snoring may keep you awake but at this time of year the warmth is agreeable.
  •  In the morning purr loudly and often in the ear. This is punishment disguised as affection. Neat! 


  • For further punishment ideas consult my manual here

4 comments:

  1. Humans do get silly this time of year, good thing you've got a plan George.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CAT VictoriaJanuary 07, 2020

    My humans enjoy a glass of red wine for sure! But in moderation especially now that I'm watching them ready to act since they got in Sept. a grandchild - a cute human kitten!
    CAT Victoria

    ReplyDelete
  3. My human really enjoys her wine! She said that this specific organic red wine is activating a certain part of her brain! Snub! Such a lame excuse to indulge!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awesome! No words. You always go one step beyond.

    There is so much great, useful information here. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
    Read our guide if you wish.
    https://petnorm.com

    Thanks again :)

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org