Trouble and strife with my human
Due to a disgraceful failure of duty in my secretary, Celia, there were no posts this weekend. She claims it was due to an ISP failure just before she took four days off. I have told her that she has no right to any time off. As her owner I expect her to be a ready and willing servant at all times. She has now gone on a two day strike, withdrawing her labour under the guise of continuing what she calls a "holiday" for another 48 hours. I told her that cats don't do holidays and they don't expect their humans do to do them either. Posts will resume next Saturday or she will have very badly scratched limbs.
Yours very disgruntedly
George
Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.
This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org
WELL! Of all the nerve!
ReplyDeleteOur pets don't always do our bidding when we request it. However mine is pretty well-trained, which took a long time.She is a slow learner, I think, like most humans.We'll look forward to your secretary's posts.....Kassey (female tabby)
ReplyDeleteMy Dear George,
ReplyDeleteIt is impossible to get good help these days! That this is so was put into sharp relief for me this past week. My human female went on a holiday (!) without me (!!), and had some lovely older gentleman come in to serve me a couple of times a day. Not only did he feed me many, many, many tuna-flavored Pounce (the stingy miser I live with doles them out as if they were made of solid gold, for pity's sake), but he brushed me for at least three times as long as MY human does. Now THAT is service. THAT is more like it. I have upped the stakes now that my human is home by being completely aloof and stomping away whenever she trundles into view, but she hasn't got the message. She thinks I'll get over it. I will NOT, I say.
I completely understand your dismay, dear George. Onward and upward; if you discover a solution to the human servant problem, you must let me know. Until then, all we can do is negative conditioning.
Must go for now; have to pee on her clothing.
Yours,
Puss-Puss.
*sigh* It's a sad fact that humanity is, as a species, lazy. I hate to generalize about an entire segment of nature's kingdom, but it's true. I have long since given up on trying to conform their behavior and have instead simply lowered my expectations. Each day that passes amicably with food in my dish is a good one. At least they make some passable television.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Neyland D. Catt
http://fictitiouscat.blogspot.com
George, could be Fluffy and her problems that made Celia run away? :-)
ReplyDeleteSebastian
George, hope that wasn't me causing Celia to take a vacation! I know she had a injured finger too!
ReplyDeleteIs she okay? Please be nice to her. She's a good secretary :-)
Love
Fluffy
Yes! I don't understand why humans take a vacation summer time more then any other time of the year. Where do they go?
ReplyDeleteShumba
George, I'm with you! I think Celia "deserves" some scratched limbs (because of her I was taken to the vet for nothing - just to stress me even more with that awful smell)
ReplyDeleteCharge ahead! No secretary is allowed to take any vacation unless we decide so!
Hugs
Cayenne