Are some humans cat addicted?

Dear George,

I always know when They are up to something...  And now I know what it is: they want me to have a companion. They talk about it in huddles. Should they get an older chap like me (I'm 13)? A younger quieter nervous chap, as I know I was? Or should they  leave well alone? The thing is, George, do I or don't I want a companion? I don't know. Especially having lived with the imperious matriarch who ruled the roost here when I arrived - though I must say she looked out for me whenever I appeared under threat from neighbouring ASBO feline bullies. But I do get bored. I'm spoilt, admittedly. There's always treats all for me and sleep. I'd welcome your thoughts, George.

Kind Regards, Bodmin.

Dear  Bodmin,

Why let Them have all the fun and leave all the hassle for you? It looks to me as if they are being selfish.  If it's a kitten, it will spend its time trying to play games with you. When it's an adolescent it will play rougher games and may even bully you. At the age of 13 surely you are allowed a bit of piece and quiet. The idea of another cat is Theirs, not Yours. Are your humans suffering from problem cat owning?

Humans seem to get addicted to cats. First they get a cat, then they add another one, then somebody goes away and leaves one in the neighbourhood which moves in, and then they see a pathetic cat in a rescue shelter. Before you know where you are, your peaceful home has become a hostel for homeless felines. I exaggerate, of course, but it's a possibility.

But think of this. Will there be room for two cats on the bed? I mean, I find there is barely room for the humans on my bed. I aim to edge one of them out and send them to the spare room, then I can settle down with enough space and just one human. If there are two of you cats, you may have to banish both the humans from the bed altogether. I know there's plenty of room for them on the sofa downstairs. I know that they have no right at all to expect there to be space in the bedroom. But just think it through.

Better still talk to them about cat addiction. I have spoken sternly to Celia about this. I tell her that just as heavy drinking can lead to alcohol addiction, so a heavy cat intake can lead to cat addiction. Perhaps your humans are not real cat hoarders yet but addiction to animals really does exist. Get them to look at this bit  of film - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v+CxcchlDbACU. There's even a special website about it at the Hoarding of Animals Research Consortium, http://www.tufts.edu/vet/cfa/hoarding/rescue.htm 

Those of you out there who are owned by addicts, watch out. Once a cat addict, always a cat addict. They need a Power Greater Than Themselves to recover. If you can make them see sense you might be that Higher Power. Many cats have this position in the house - they rule.

If not, it will have to be that Great Ginger Tom above the stars, that Being which humans so oddly think is sort of human. The One that made everything from the glory of our whiskers to the shining of moonlight.