Saturday, May 03, 2008

Should we neuter and spay our humans?

Dear George
There are only two domesticated species that walk around with their sexual bits still attached - dogs and humans. Both would be better off without them. My humans are completely ruled by theirs. They can't think of anything else and sometimes they completely neglect and ignore me because they are so obsessed by each other. A chap can't get a decent night's sleep for humping and bonking. They act as if it's their bed. And they stay out late. And he goes out and sprays his territory late at night - upsetting all my careful territorial marks. I think it's time we cats got our humans spayed and neutered. What is your opinion on this topic?

Dear Jonesey,
I agree with you that humans would be happier if they were neutered and spayed. You only have to compare the behaviour of the older ones with the behaviour of younger ones, to see what a great deal of their time and effort is taken up with worrying about, searching for, or interacting with mates. The older ones, who have given up that sort of thing, seem so much more serene and happy. It would obviously be in their interests if we could just put a stop to their sex lives. 
And their mating attempts are so crude and noisy. As you say, you can't get a decent night's sleep if your humans are at it. And sometimes they even do it in the day time, interrupting those magic after lunch hours of sleep.
It's obvious really. Many human behavioural problems such as staying out late, escaping from the house, roaming the neighbourhood, fighting, inappropriate sexual behaviour and intraspecies aggression would just die away after the op. Just a snip and the male human would become so much better behaved a pet with far less likelihood of needing medical treatment. There would be less competitive urine spraying in the garden - indeed the behaviour might die away altogether (except where it has become a learned response). Just a neat little op and the female would stop all that separation anxiety - the Bridget Jones syndrome as it is sometimes called.
Then there's the question of over population. There are just far too many of them. If we could stop them breeding, there would be far fewer unwanted human kittens, feral youths, stray humans, and humans only just managing to make a living. It's a bit of a campaign for me. What do other cats think?


  1. AnonymousMay 04, 2008

    Cats can be effective human contraception when they attach themselves to the upper most back of the beast with two backs! ;)

  2. You must pose this question to
    The Cat Blogosphere.
    I know you'd get many responses since all us felines experience this problem.

    I've solved mine by demanding my own room, with a large comfy bed, of course. That way my humans can do "whatever" in their bed and I can get my much needed rest.

    The Crew

  3. I'm with you on the boys, but can't help but think the maternal urge in females is a good way to get looked after, so I'd leave the girls and like horses almost all males should be fixed!

  4. Mommy's spayed. She tried to get the v-e-t to do it, but he was chick-hen. It maded her lots more nice when the nice doktor did it. So I finks spaying our humans is a good idear. It werks!

  5. Oh do we agree!!!! Where is the petition to sign??? And you didn't even go into the disability of so many to actually care for the consequences of their crude behavior...
    Our answer is a loud YES! Snip and op!

  6. absolutely!!! we are all in favor of it. not that our mommy has this issue as our daddy lives 300 miles away, but we're still in favor of it purely on a revenge basis

  7. AnonymousMay 08, 2008

    Well, I have a couple of condos, one on the porch and one under the carport (parking place for the vehicles) AND I also have several very nice beds of my own inside. This helps separate me from all the human activity, if you know what I mean. I over heard my humans talking about their friend that was threatening to neuter his teenage son. They were laughing really hard over this, I failed to see the humor in the matter and wondered what the Dad was waiting on before taking the necessary action!

  8. My Meowm has been spayed....she was happy to have it done. I know she wishes that her upstairs neighbors could get spayed and neutered as they are noisy and keep her awake! They do bother me and my brother on occasion we would vote for at least neutering!

    Junior and Orion


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online