Radiators versus woodburners

This time of year heat is vital to stop cats shivering through the winter. Blow-heaters ruffle the fur unpleasantly. Electric fires usually give out heat above the carpet. Radiators and wood burning stoves are more acceptable.
Both have advantages and disadvantages.
Radiators allow one to soak up heat through the belly by lying underneath. Oddly enough, humans never do this and therefore they have designed radiators that are too small for lying-down humans. Radiators, however, are the ideal size for cats.
There is one major problem. They stop working at night when it is coldest and mean minded humans also turn them off during the day, while they are "at work." No wonder so many of us stroll down the road looking for a human that keeps the heat on all day.
Wood burners are usually lighted up only in the evenings, when our humans return. But even when no more wood is added, they stay warm for hours right into the early morning. They also make interactive TV for kittens like Blossom (above).
Ideal homes, like mine, have both.

 

•  For more mewsings on humans order my book here.

Catnip versus alcohol - punishing humans

Toby demonstrates recreational and moderate use of catnip

Humans behave very badly indeed at the New Year - drinking quantities of alcohol without any feline moderation. They blunder about, get rude and silly, sometimes vomit and occasionally even lose control of their bladder. 
It's disgusting.
We felines are recreational drug users and we admittedly roll around in a silly way when sniffing catnip. However we know when to stop.... unlike many humans. 
How to punish drunk humans? Here is what to do.

• Avoid them while they are still drinking. The spare room or even under the bed may be necessary.
• Wait till they are horizontal to assess the situation.
• If they are motionless, use their body as a warm pillow until they start moving. 
• Snoring may keep you awake but at this time of year the warmth is agreeable.

•  In the morning purr loudly and often in the ear. This is punishment disguised as affection. Neat! 

• For further punishment ideas consult my manual here.