Cats, castles, and microchipping - is it safe for me?

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Dear George,
I’m Tomi von Ineu and a wanderer at heart! Like in any aristocratic family, when the parents don’t live together, the father’s family has rights to a kitten. And, since I was the only one willing to leave home ….there I went full speed towards new adventures, my new castle and my new domain Ineu. But, it seems that I misbehaved from the very beginning as I escaped through (or under) the gates of the castle. I heard my little human kitten, sorry, my little princess crying but I didn’t bother thinking that I’ll make up to her later. I got lost. Fortunately, some good human kittens found me and took me back to my castle. As a corrective action …I’m now locked in the tower! Plus, I heard them saying that I’ll be microchipped. God, hope they won’t electrocute me! I send a letter to the Elders in the village to ask what a microchip is. They said my humans will put a GPS in my head so they can track all my moves. George, is that true? Can they put some computer in my head and then watch me on their security cameras/monitors?
Yours
Tomi von Ineu

Dear Tomi

I am so impressed by your status.  Your own castle. And locked in a tower, just like Rappunzel in the fairy tale. She escaped and so will you, once you have that microchip. I promise you, microchips are safe. I have one. It's to help if we get lost. Ordinary microchips just stay in the body, and if someone finds us when we are lost, they can get a vet or a rescue charity to scan us, read the microchip, and find our owner.
There are GPS devices for cats but these have to be mounted on a collar. Here in the UK most catflap cats don't wear a collar, because of worries about safety (for a discussion of this, go here) GPS collars may present difficulties for some of us smaller cats, as they add a bit of weight - though there are very light ones used for tracking small rodents. GPS microchips are on the way (a patent has been filed) but I am not sure how far they are widely available. These would be a small implant not requiring a collar.
Most of us cats get a microchip when we are neutered and spayed, so it is no big deal. Don't worry Tomi, a microchip is a very good thing to have.
Yours reassuringly
George