Strange creatures invading my territory

Dear George,

I was strongly advised by my cousin, CAT Victoria,  to write to you and ask for help as neither one of us knew what to do in my dramatic situation. Here is my story: I was rescued as a kitten and after a stressful period of adaptation in my new home (mostly due to being continuously sniffed at by the dog) I finally came to terms with everything and everybody (meaning the dog). My humans are very well trained and I think it is more of my cousin's merit rather then their human intelligence. Anyway, they provide and I take - as you can see in the photo attached. However, my happiness is in danger and I have no intention to let it be short lived. I enjoy my new home, I ignore the dog on daily basis and  I kinda like my mommy, especially when she's holding me in her arms. But....I was horrified to discover this strange creature (photo on the right)

EATING my food in the backyard. George, what is this? Certainly it's not a dog nor is it a cat. Its coat hurts anybody touching it and this strange "thing" can disappear in a ball. CAT Victoria thinks it is an ET and she's trying to communicate with it. This strange creature dares to eat my food and dares to sleep in one of my little houses in the backyard. The worst part yet? My humans seem to like this "thing"; they are talking to it and gave it a name. Is there a possibility that I might have been rescued and adopted by extra-terrestrials? Do you think they plan to abduct me and take me to the outer space? At least that's what my cousin thinks. George, do you think I'm safe in this creature's proximity?

Help(less)

Kitty-Kitty

Dear Kitty-Kitty,
Human beings are ridiculous. They have you, one of the most beautiful cats in the world with your amazing wildlife coat colouring, and they are giving your food away to a small odd creature with spikes and fleas. No, Victoria is wrong. It's not an alien, though it looks like one. It won't eat you or abduct you or try to form a relationship of some unhealthy type.
I think your hedgehog looks slightly different from the ones near me (photo below). Shorter noses perhaps.

But hedgehogs are natural flea bags. Covered with them. As your silly humans will discover if they try to pick it up. Admittedly hedgehog fleas are not cat fleas but even hedgehog fleas can give us cats quite a nasty bite. So my advice to you is to keep a sensible distance away from it. Tell Victoria if she wants to communicate to do it from a distance. Perhaps she could try some kind of feline semaphore!
And what on earth is it doing in the garden as winter approaches? Here in the UK they hibernate. They find heaps of leaves or grass and burrow down into it and sleep through the bad weather. Some people buy hedgehog hibernation cabins here.
May I be frank, Kitty-Kitty. Just ignore this latest human craze. It's not worth bothering about their behaviour.  Hedgehogs are boring. Now if it was mice.....
Yours
George 
PS.  If you hate your humans, or keep having to punish them with claws and teeth, then a TV company would like to hear from you. Email them at catdocumentary@gmail.com