Saturday, December 28, 2013

Thank goodness.. an end fo festive nonsense

Dear George, 
So what is all this festive nonsense about ? Don't get me wrong , I love the fact there are sparkly shiny things to play with . The humans however are more mental than normal . They consume vast quantities of Turkey and Brussels sprouts . They have the nerve to blame me for the resulting flatulence . 
They fall asleep on my sofa in silly paper hats .  No Cat nap for me with all this loud snoring going on My favourite rug is covered with wrapping paper . How very dare these humans rip and tear it  to shreds when I wasn't allowed to ? Thank goodness it's only once a year .
Yours 
Penny

Dear Penny,
Couldn't agree more. My human has been far more mental than normal. She has eaten like a pig and, as you say, Brussel sprouts are not conducive to a pleasant home smelling mainly of cat.
Personally I like a nice daily routine. Wake human at 7am or perhaps 6.30am if I want an early breakfast. I usually walk up and down her body but if she is sleeping too soundly, I will purr in her ear or just push things off the bedside cabinet. Breakfast at 7.10 when she has gone downstairs in her dressing gown and opened the envelope of cat food.Toilet time outside followed by a stroll round the garden in good weather, then a little nap usually on the bed but maybe on the windowsill if it is sunny there. Lunch - a few cat biscuits. Another nap, occasionally accompanied by my human. Tea - a few more cat biscuits. Another nap followed by an evening stroll. Supper - proper serving of cat biscuits. Then I sleep in front of the fire, following her up to bed at night (one or two more cat biscuits). I like to sleep on the warm side or in very bad weather cuddled up close to my human hot water bottle.
That's it. No alcohol in the house. No silly hats. No visiting humans. No going out in the evening (I mean her not me).  Just a nice daily routine with an attending human.
Happy New Year.
George

4 comments:

  1. The humans get all crazy at this time of the year don't they. Now if we shredded the paper for them, we'd get yelled at big time.

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  2. I dream of a nice, quiet New Year's Eve and relaxing days & nights in 2014:-)
    Happy New Year to all
    Fluffy

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  3. All humans are more mental than normal!
    But....at least in my house they cook good food - yummy steaks :-)
    Wishing you all a Happy & Safe New Year
    Diego

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  4. I don't mind having people around on my property cause this means more food for me, but I dislike the loud music that comes with their gatherings.
    Why don't they realize that more they drink more their hearing problems grow?
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org