Are humans entitled to more privacy?

Dear George,

Here is the question of the week; are humans really entitled to more privacy than us?

The reason I’m asking you this is because you are an expert in human behaviour and lately I had some rundowns with my human female, of course!

I think she is a pathetic hypocrite; first of all, if she’s using the bathroom she’s closing the door. Why? When I’m using the bathroom she gets in and checks the litter box “to see what I did”. How sick is this? Do I look in her water bowl? She doesn’t even have a proper litter box – they use something that flashes! Phew! If she’s taking a shower, again, she pulls a curtain all the way so I can’t see what she’s doing in the bathtub. I’m sure she’s embarrassed that she is incapable of grooming herself the proper way like we, the cats do. Guess….she doesn’t have enough saliva so she does have to use that thing that spits out water and they call it a shower. Why does she need a curtain? Does she have something to hide? I, for sure, have nothing to hide as you can see in the photo. I can groom and clean myself anywhere in the house even if I’m not pleased at all when they are taking photos of me grooming or start giggling looking at me. I usually ignore them but, today I got really pissed when she yelled “hey, can I have some privacy in this house”? Then, again….WHY? I don’t have these problems with my daddy! Are human females prude or just plain hypocrites? Are they really entitled to more privacy?

Truly distressed

Fluffy

Dear Fluffy, 

Human behaviour is sometimes extremely odd. Many humans seem to have an obsession about being private during perfectly normal activities, such as eliminating and washing.  It's impossible to know why for sure. Maybe they are ashamed of their bodies because they don't have proper fur? Though hairless Sphinx cats don't behave in this way. I'm glad that your male human doesn't have this hang up - though it's slightly odd to me that males usually spray in the same place, the ceramic bowl. 
Entitled to more privacy? I think not. Humans don't really have rights, like cats do. They are not entitled to anything. But we can look at it another way.  We have duties of care towards them. If your human female doesn't want to let you into the bathroom (due to shame or prudery or perhaps fur envy), it would be kinder of you just to stay away. She can't help it: it's just one of the many human failings.
Yes, I do think they have to use water because they don't have enough saliva. And that pathetic thing they call a tongue. Can't do anything much with that except for a small lick. It's smooth not rough and it doesn't have proper muscle. They can't help that either.
So there you are, Fluffy. We have to accept them as they are, poor things. And remember to be kind to them.

Keep calm and carry on,
George.