Saturday, December 10, 2011

Trees, two-timing humans and how to get on the mews


Dear George,

I would call myself SuperCat as my real name is irrelevant for this story. Why SuperCat? Because I manage two sets of adopted human pets; one on a permanent basis and one on a semi-permanent basis. Summertime I have countless “occasional” residences, but that’s yet another story. I spend my days in my semi-permanent residence eating, sleeping, playing, scratching the dog to get off the sofa, pushing their elderly cat off the armchair. The cat is putting up a fight but the others obey in total confusion. When the night comes (or when “she” – my permanent human pet - comes from work) I move to my permanent residence where I train my human into “cat adoration”. She almost reached “perfection”.

Also, I keep an eye on the neighborhood and my two houses from a strategic place as you can see in the photo. I “melt” into that tree and no one sees me there. But, my spot is in danger as I heard my adopted human male saying that he wants to cut the tree off. I’m sure their cat has something to do with it since, I have to admit, she doesn’t like me and she’s the only one knowing my hiding spots. This cat put in this man’s mind that the tree is dead and better cut it off …..just to get me off her property; I’m sure that’s the reason.

But George, I can’t let this happen since there are no other trees “with a view”.

I will hung on and fight for my tree until the last breath (of the tree, of course) but may be you have a better idea how I can reclaim my tree? Should I call the municipality? By the way, aren’t trees protected?

Anxiously yours,

SuperCat



Dear SuperCat

Congratulations, you are showing all the initiativeness and deviousness that makes us cats rulers of the world. Setting up two homes is an extremely intelligent move for any urban cat. One home for the evening meal, full central heating, warm beds, and nice breakfast. The other for daytime - lunch, full central heating, warm beds for that post lunch nap, and perhaps a small tea before setting off to the other home. We cats two-time "owners" all the time and often they don't even know they are time-sharing cat. Poor pets.

Trees... it sounds a serious dilemma. Here in the UK humans can put a tree preservation order on a tree, by ringing their local authority. This wheeze may not be available in your country. If it is, see if you can purrsuade your evening humans to do this. Here it can be done anonymously (I think) and the tree owner is just told about it afterwards.

It's sometimes difficult to find a municipality which takes cats' views seriously. Write to them anyway and keep a copy. Then send this copy with a covering letter to your local paper. A nice covering letter with this very glamorous photo attached, written by your secretary, and signed with your pawprint, should go down very well. What local paper could resist this? If they have any mews sense they will run it.

Love George

10 comments:

  1. CAT VictoriaDecember 11, 2011

    SuperCat you look soooo cute in that tree. Once in your strategic spot...you should make yourself more visible to you adopted human male pet so he'll realize how important that tree is for you! Also, be a bit nicer to their cat (it's hard I know) if you don't want to loose one property. It's hard to accept ...but she might be the Alpha cat there.
    Just my opinion :-)
    Love
    CAT Victoria

    ReplyDelete
  2. O la la! SuperCat you are SuperCute!
    Your story is too funny :-)
    Porthos

    ReplyDelete
  3. Super smart cat! Bravos! You set a good example for the youngsters on this blog! Lots to learn on human mind manipulation; like in the Mentalist :-)
    Diego

    ReplyDelete
  4. You look quite comfortable up in the tree. Right, keep an eye on the world!
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have some guts! Good for you.
    Frederico

    ReplyDelete
  6. Does it snow where you are? Just curious what do you do in wintertime.
    That's when I worry for my territory since I don't go that often outside in the snow.
    Minnie

    ReplyDelete
  7. Maybe you should carry a gun if it is permitted in your country just in case he's still trying to cut the tree. I just read about a dog that shot the hunter (reason unknown):-)
    Cayenne

    ReplyDelete
  8. Excellent advice George! Yes, a cup of tea and some shortbread cookies before you take off to your night residence will be just wonderful!
    I think I'd like to join you :-)
    Hugs
    Shumba

    ReplyDelete
  9. Super Cat, you are so smart to have two homes so all your bases are covered, 24/7.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJune 28, 2012

    Wow that was strange. I just wrote an really long comment but
    after I clicked submit my comment didn't appear. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say wonderful blog!
    Also see my web site: this one

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org