Dear George,I have just had a traumatic encounter with a small group of hornets. One of them stung my human, which is only what she deserves for being so foolish as to take up power walking. I felt it prudent to dive into a hedge and stay there for the rest of the day. I would much rather have been hunting rabbits, my usual morning occupation, but the danger posed by these enraged insects quite upset me. My human thinks this is strange, as the things that scare other cats, such as dog, toddlers, lorries, loud noises or car rides, do not faze me in the least. Not that I was scared, you understand. It was quite unnecssary for the human to come out and find me hours later and carry me home for dinner.
Yours,
Scaramouche
Dear Scaramouche,
These flibbertigibbet humans! Power walking indeed. Why doesn't she take up mousing? So much better ergonomically. I have tried over the years to interest Celia in mousing by bringing in living mice, but she just doesn't get it. Instead of an invigorating hunt round the living room, she merely catches them in a wellington boot and puts them outside. (Mind you, I sneak out later and start hunting them all over again, so it's not all bad).
Wise of you to take shelter if hornets are flying around. Some foolish kittens actually hunt bees and wasps - a dangerous activity not indulged in by mature cats like you and I. Hornets really do sting badly and I am not at all surprised that you were emotionally upset. Of course, this upset was merely because you disliked them in your territory, not any wimplike fear!
Your duty is clear, Scaramouche. Get that foolish human of yours to call the local wildlife people in case the hornets are a rare species. Get their advice and see if you can rehome the hornets (or something) in a better place! Creepie crawlies, even the buzzing kind, have a place in our world. I like to see the odd bee and wasp. And I enjoy crunching up flies and such like. Quite tasty.
Not so sure about the power walking, though. Shouldn't she be busy shopping for cat food?
Yours
George
Scaramouche, it can be very upsetting watching your ape leap about in agony after an insect sting, we don't blame you seeking refuge in the hedge. Our ape got stung on the foot by a hornet in Crete once. She thinks this is some great dinner party anecdote and still bangs on about it to this day. Be careful that your ape doesn't get affected the same way. If she does. Jump on her lap and put BOTH of your paws over her mouth.
ReplyDeleteGerry & oliver
Power walk! Scaramouche, re-home yourself if she continues with this no-sense!
ReplyDeleteDiego
Scramouche, you don't look like Paul Belmondo - you look even better!
ReplyDeleteYour human's actions require hard punishment!
Cats don't do power walks! Phew!
Frederico
OMG! Scaramouche, you look lovely! I mean your eyes since you are so black that no hornet will find you :-)
ReplyDeleteShumba
power walking?! Hah... utterly silly. Darcy, Bingley xx
ReplyDelete