Dear George, I do not understand why humans want to have kittens of their own when they have us!
What’s wrong with them? Isn’t serving and loving us sufficient? My humans decided to have a kitten without even asking me! One day I came home and there was this little cry that scared the hack out of me!
Now, I must admit that he is a cute kitten! So cute that he could pass as one of mine. The human kitten is 1 ½ year old now and thinks I’m his mother or something. He tries to kiss me or sleep on me (as you can see in the picture) or feed me. He scares me big time as he screams (with joy) each time he sees me.
I have mixed feelings! I can re-home myself across the street with an elderly couple. I live (on and off) with them for almost 1 year now. My female human is really upset. They want me back home but …..if I come back …I want their full attention.
George, what s
hould I do? Move back home and embrace this kitten as one of mine?
Maybe you or other cats can share some tricks on how to deal with human kittens?
Stunned
Trixy
Dear Trixy,
Most good human owners wish they could neuter and spay their humans. In any cat-human relationship it becomes clear that humans are slave to their sexual urges. They do it all the time. Only a sensible programme of one-off birth control - snip and spay as I call it - will do the trick. Alas, though they can do it to us, we can't do it to them. Our only possibility is to purrsuade them to go ahead and choose neutering or its human equivalent (a choice which they don't allow us).
It is mystery to me why humans should opt for human kittens in the first place. Children are no substitute for cats. They are born bald, completely helpless, without whiskers (these only grow on maturity or old age), and they cannot walk for months and months. Compared with proper kittens, they are (to speak frankly and without being politically correct) retarded. There is simply no comparison but I am afraid we just have to put up with their funny and unintelligent ways...
Should you move back home with the human kitten? No, but visit at meal times. There is no reason why you should not have two homes. Lots of humans do this. Treat the elderly couple as your home for sleeping, quiet contemplation and normal meals. Pop back to your original home for a second round of meals and a little interaction with the human kitten. Two timing humans is fun for cats.
Speaking of neutering, I have been told (not sure how accurate it is) that some of the Japanese and Chinese comments being put on this blog are sexual. As a cat that has had the snip (unlike my irresponsible owners now luckily too old for reproduction) I am concerned about this. So for the time being - until I can find a Japanese or Chinese cat to translate comments for me - comments that I cannot understand will have to be rejected. Many apologies for any Japanese or Chinese mewing cats out there, whose comments cannot be shown.
Love George
PS. Ways to get away from human kittens include pet gates on the stairs (you can go up: they can't) http://www.pet-gates-direct.com and crates which are nice places to sit as they can't get in. http://www.petamenities.com
G! This kitten could pass as one of mine too :-)
ReplyDeleteCheetho
Hi Trixy,
ReplyDeleteIndeed....he is a very cute human kitten! However.....start training him right away
otherwise you'll fall under his spell and you'll have problems later. You know!
Sooner the better :-)
Love
Fluffy
Trixy, find few good places where you can hide if needed and use them! Get out only when this little kitten is asleep. Use this tactic until he grows a bit.
ReplyDeleteDiego
The best way to deal with ape kittens is to get yourself a good pair of earplugs (so those high pitched shrieks don't hurt your ears) and keep your tail about you at all times Trixy. Ape kittens can't resist a quick pull, they don't understand how it can really damage us badly. Try and persuade the ape kitten's parents to supervise it at all times when you are around. I think keeping a second set of humans at your beck and call is a good solution. Just make sure that all these humans know exactly who is responsible if you should fall ill at any time.
ReplyDeleteHigh up sleeping places are handy to escape to also
Whicky Wuudler