Dear George,Reading Mustapha’s letter I thought that, indeed, keeping humans indoor at night was a pretty good idea. It could be an excellent time to further train them.
Even if I’m fairly young I know lots of tricks & things.
Last Saturday night I kept them indoor planning to start “the play time” training.
What a disaster! Horror! They did not understand that it was all about “MY playing time” not theirs! So, they invited few friends over and….they behaved like “party animals” until next morning! Do they have any brain? Any respect for me or my sister?
Look at me in this picture; at my young age is it normal to collapse on the stairs instead of sleeping in a bed? George, maybe keeping them indoor is not such a good idea after all! Maybe we should let them outside, free… so they can get in trouble!
By the way! Talking about pets; should I switch to a ferret from an inconsiderate human?
What do you think?
Exhausted
Cheetho
Dear Cheetho,
Humans are best kept in at night for their own safety. Single humans will otherwise spend the evening straying, roaming round looking for fights (if they are male), or sex, or their idea of a "good time." Some are drug users and, unlike us, don't stick to harmless recreational drugs like catnip. The younger ones seem willing to sniff anything. The older ones smoke stuff or drink a drug called alcohol. They behave very oddly as a result when they return. Keeping them indoors prevents some of this misbehaviour.
Humans being humans, poor dumb creatures, some of them will attempt to behave in the same way but in their own homes - just as yours did. I believe in punishment - but delayed punishment. I have tried turning up to the table at a suitable time, say 10pm, to get them to throw out their friends and come to bed. It never worked. Nowadays I just go to bed on my own (haven't yet learned how to switch on the electric blanket, alas,) and wait for them. That is the moment for punishment. I leap up and down all over the bed at regular intervals through the night, waking them up. They usually have what I call "sore heads" and they call "hangovers" and this drug reaction gets worst in the morning. Loud purring near their ears or just sitting on their faces is a really good punishment. They hate it.
One solution would be to make humans into indoor-only pets. I gather that the Association of Human Veterinary Practitioners, an association of feline experts, has suggested that the answer to human problems is just to keep them in all day. They claim that there are elderly humans that live this way and are perfectly happy to do so. But I think it is going too far. Humans need to be able to get out and do species specific behaviour, such as choosing the right kind of cat food for us.
I don't think I would switch to ferrets, if I was you. They are slithery sort of creatures and give a mean bite. Humans, though inconsiderate and with poor cognition, are still the best pets if they are proprer socialised at a young age, and given plenty of punishment training.
Love George
Dear Cheetho,
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with George: keep the human pets. If you train a ferret, not only are they never grateful, but they stubbornly insist on being smelly no matter what you do. Humans can at least be taught the rudiments of hygiene.
I have found that in addition to punishment training, embarrassment training is also extremely effective with humans--sometimes even more so. If your humans are behaving inappropriately and allowing other humans to congregate in your home, then stroll up to the visiting humans, and vomit up a hairball. Or you could lift your leg and have a good wash. Either one of these tactics is twice as effective if performed while the humans are feeding. Maybe you could wash your bottom while sitting on the table? It's just a thought. A good thought. I must try it...
And, my dear George, I share your frustration about the electric blanket controls. But it isn't that you haven't figured out how to operate it. It's just that humans, with their fundamentally inconsiderate natures, refuse to develop any devices, no matter how crude, that are multi-species-operable. I find this very thumbist of them. I have been racking my brains for a training technique to change this, but thus far have been unsuccessful. If I make any progress, I will be sure to inform you.
Sincerely,
Puss-Puss.
I agree, all apes indoors, all night long. Letting them out is asking for trouble. Most ape injuries happen at night. Sometimes my apes insist on staying up late. This won't do. I want them in that bed, warming it up for me. Lately I have been applying the bedtime bitey to their fingers if they ignore bedtime rules. Works a treat. I think Cheetho ought get biting the unruly visiting apes. Apes always outstay their welcome.
ReplyDeleteWhicky Wuudler
I had my humans outside all weekend, because the weather here in Georgia was wonderful. It didn't rain or snow, the sun was out and it was almost 70 degrees. However, it didn't help with my problem of not being allowed outside at night. I'm a bit too old to be playing so much, but I do manage to keep my human awake at night. They are nice when I get cold, they allow me to snuggle in bed them them and I love it. How do you think I got my name?
ReplyDeleteDear George, dear all,
ReplyDeleteCheetho deserved every minute of sleeping on the stairs! He had a choice; to party or to come with me and watch TV in the bedroom (as you can see in the picture, I'm in bed watching TV). He had chosen to party!
Guess....he was on a lot of catnip if he couldn't find the bed :-)
I'm Conchita, Cheetho's sister!
Cheetho, next time send out an invitation!
ReplyDeleteI'm always looking for fun!
Frederico
If your human pets are using alcohol....better let them out! otherwise they can be very loud; they don't realize that the drug is affecting their hearing. Sometimes....it affects their sight too; they see "double" :-)
ReplyDeleteMinnie