Kitten pranks. Shall I pull these down?

Dear George,
I am only a kitten but I have discovered a good way of getting my new owners' attention. They live in a lovely Cotswold home, with valuable antiques. On the mantlepiece of the drawing room are several beautiful Dresden pieces of china - shepherdesses and the like. I have thought what fun it would be to get up there and pull them down - but they are still a bit high up. In the meantime I am looking round for other things to practise on. Like this pile of magazines. What are your views on pushing things off ledges?
Roxy.

Dear Roxy,
Yes, by all means start practising now. You have hit upon one of the best ways to get human attention - toppling things over, swiping valuable antiques off mantlepieces, pulling down waste paper baskets and spreading their contents over the room. It's all yours, kitten.
What is so satisfying about getting human attention this way, is its complete and utter predictability. Want to be picked up? Just do it. Want to be the centre of all eyes? Just do it. Want to provoke a series of shrieks? Just do it.No sooner do they see you even thinking about it - standing like you are now or just doing the bottom wiggle before the great leap - than they respond with gratifying speed. It is SO easy.
In my opinion this human response shows that there are severe limits on human cognition. If they really had the capacity to reason things out, they would realise that these pranks are a way of getting attention. Sometimes I think a few humans do. But they are incapable of taking the next intellectual step - ie. to work it out that giving attention merely encourages us cats. The only way to stop us is to walk out of the room. Can humans think? I am not sure.
So... I admire your spirit, Roxy. You are learning fast how to train your humans. As far as the Dresden shepherdesses are concerned, they are the big one. If you go for them, cataclasmic human reactions will result. Not just the occaisonal shrieks, but very many and very loud ones. And probably a complete loss of human temper ( they don't have much control, poor humans). Are you ready for it? Can you cope? If so, JDI - Just Do It.
George.
PS. Would Anonymous who added a comment last week like to email me via www.celiahaddon.com A longer version of her/his query would make a nice post. Next week the blog will be silent as my secretary, Celia, is away at college vainly trying to wise up enough to outwit a cat. Some hope!