Sunday, November 02, 2008

Should I go on teasing her by making my human jealous?

Dear George,
I have found out a good way to tease my humans. My two carers are Janet and John, like the children's books of past years. Janet does everything for me. She feeds me, makes sure the litter tray is clean, trains me on the lead and in the car. John does far less. I have discovered I can really irritate Janet by showing a distinct preference for John. I join him, not her, on the bed lying at his, not her, feet. I walk out of the room if Janet gets too near me. I rush to welcome John when he comes home and ignore her when she does. It's easy peasy. John wears a sort of smug look on his face and Janet looks anxious. How far should I take this?
Jasmine. (Apologies for black and white photo)

Dear Jasmine,
I think we all enjoy teasing humans. They make it so easy for us. They are ridiculously over sensitive when it comes to feline attention. They sulk if they think they are not getting enough or just go around looking worried (like Janet). It is part of the power that we hold over them. Power that they simply don't even acknowledge.
Have you tried the visitor game? I expect you have. I enjoy it. I scan all arrivals at the house. Those that try to come towards me, or attempt to touch or pet me, I ignore. I walk away with a haughty look or, better still, rush off under the sofa. These are cat lovers and most of them are devastated by my behaviour.
Those that don't seem to like cats or that ignore me, I walk up to and rub against their ankles. Some may
even be frightened of cats. They are even more fun. I leap on to their lap at the first opportunity then crawl up their chest trying to lick their face. Their horror is good fun.
The best way to play the game is when there are both kinds of human in the house. The cat lovers are even more upset to see other humans being the recipient of my favours. The cat haters are annoyed and feel, in the presence of my own humans, that they cannot just swat me off. If you haven't tried it, do so.
As for Janet, why give her a break? She is totally co dependant about cat and adores them. So whatever your behaviour, she will keep looking after you. So my advice is to play the game as much as it amuses you. But about once a week, jump on her lap and play adoring kitty. This will keep her on the boil, so to speak. You can eavesdrop on her pathetic conversations with John about "Why won't Jasmine be like she was on Monday?".
Cats rule.
PS Would Whikky Wuudler like to communicate via with a photo so I can run the interesting question about cat food contents?


  1. Teasing humans is part of the fun in life. Don't change a thing.

  2. That's part of having fun. I always tease my humans, however, I do draw the line with mistreatment of my female. She is my bed buddy. I always snuggle with her and I love being in her lap, my most favorite place in the whole world. I do play the tease game with visitors, especially my female human mother, I suppose that would be MY grandmother. She is not an animal person and I ALWAYS jump into her lap and it ALWAYS gets a rise out of her, she starts to fuss at me, but I just ignore her. After all, she's in MY chair!

  3. In this house, humans have learned that if they don't fiddle, fanny and generally follow cats about, they will be rewarded by laps full of purring, happy felines.

  4. That's true: cats RULE!
    And they any house :-)
    But last night we (me and my sister, Cayenne) "spent" quality time with our humans. They are well trained and love us very, very much!
    We all watched a movie called "Cat's the movie" written and directed by Susan Emerson.
    I have to tell was an excellent movie, with real cats.
    Real cats, not trained ones, no doubles or stunts.
    It is the story of Marcello and his friends.
    I highly recommend it!

  5. We rabbits dont mind any human as long as they are carrying one of the following. Carrot, beetroot stick, parsley or dandelion leaves. HARVEY


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online