Dear George,High finance and the arrogance of merchant bankers, who call themselves the Masters of the Universe, usually don't interest me. We cats are Masters of the Universe. We all know that. We are the most successful species in the world, inhabiting not just every continent but also every small island. However - and it is a big however - I am beginning to worry about the cat food deposit in my human's kitchen. Is it safe? Or will it disappear in the financial meltdown.
Henry
Dear Henry,
Times are worrying. Very worrying. Here in the UK we cats have been directly affected. Cats Protection, the feline charity, has lost 11 million pounds that they deposited in a bank owned by the bankrupt Icelandic Bank. This will compromise their plans to set up more rescue centres for needy felines.
We all need to pull together. We cats can help our humans if we look for creative and useful solutions to the mess produced by this, the most incompetant of species. We can start by hunting our own food, to eke out those vital kitchen deposits. Every mouse, lizard, fly and rabbit caught and eaten by us will make the tinned or dry cat food go further.
Better still, deposit stuff into the food bank. Catch a mouse and store it for later. Currently I have deposited a live mouse under Celia's kitchen cooker. When she shines a torch there, she can see it moving about. The silly woman doesn't realise that this is food. By depositing it live I have ensured that it does not take up room in the fridge. It leaves no carbon footprint at all. This is green food storage.
I also put one in the utility room and, deciding on a 3 am snack last night, I re-caught it. It was fun. Actually I wasn't that hungry, so I just ate the head and deposited the body on the landing just outside the bedroom door. She nearly, but not quite, stepped on it in the morning. Did she congratulate me? Was she pleased at my efforts to help the household budget? No. She swore.
Nevertheless, I am a cat with a plan to put an end to financial meltdown. Help your humans during the stockmarketl crash. Catch a mice and deposit it in your own personal home food bank.
George
PS She's back. Miaowing about cats that barber each other. If you can help her with information, or if you want to send her a photo, contact her via her website, http://www.celiahaddon.com
Very sound advice George. I often deposit a live mouse or mole in one of the many bookshelves here. They stay fresh for days. The biggest nuisance is when they die and flies lay eggs in them. My humans ought to invest in a bookshelf sized freezer.
ReplyDeleteI don't often make it to the house with a live mouse. In fact, just this afternoon I had one and when I finally strolled back to the patio where my humans were resting, I had blood all over my face, and when my female human gave me a little rub on my face she ended up with blood all over her hand. She wasn't a happy camper. What can I say? The canned food hasn't been my favorite the past few days.
ReplyDeleteOooooooo!!! Smart advice.Stock our own pantry!!! I like it!!
ReplyDeleteMom on the other hand does not!!! Hunting is hard too as she won't let me out!! :o
Purrs Mickey
We don't get the opportunity to catch mice around here...maybe in light of the financial problems, this should change!
ReplyDeleteI like your new picture George your ears are almost as long as mine in it.
ReplyDeleteI saw that picture of the rabbit corpse you left by the car last year! Just you be careful when hunting us rabbits have very sharp teeth you know.
Lennie
Hi George,
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog and enjoying it immensely (I read all your books thou). "Mouse deposits" is a serious matter and you gave us a very sound advice but, George, I have a question related to your blog;
Did you recently "changed" the format/view of your blog?
It looks to me that the sidebar was on the left side of the screen and now it is on the right! I know you drive "on the wrong" side of the road in UK, but the side bar?
Hugs,
Cayenne (Canada)
PS. When our secretary (we, me and my sister, call him Daddy)will have more time we'll ask him to type our profiles :-)
Our female human (we call her Mommy) is computer illiterate, so no hope with her!
Excellent advice, as usual, George. We must all do our share to help out in difficult times. If that means stocking our own pantry or cutting back on expensive packaged treats in favor of a freshly killed bug, we'll do it!
ReplyDeleteGeorge
Hi George,
ReplyDeleteI heard that my sister, Cayenne, wrote to you and instead of asking for your advice on important matters, she's asking again silly questions (no wonder she sits "to meditate" with our female human).
George, I need your help!
I heard our male human saying that he wanted to buy us some "live mice" from a store but our female human just "jumped" and started talking about "killing" and "karma" and all that non sense.
Now, can you imagine what I'm going to miss? It seems that my sister doesn't care (I really hope our female human didn't brainwashed her)but I DO CARE!
What can I do? PLEASE HELP!!!
Love
Fluffy (Canada)
PS. I have to find a way to post our pictures, so you can see how pretty I am!