William is not a cool cat. Couldn't be. Not at his age, which is practically an OAP age for cats. (OAP stands for old age pensioner - for cats like Oscar Snuggles across the pond). Only young lean mean hunting machines, preferably black, can be really cool in catdom. Street cred for tabby and white is low, fellow cats. That white and black female next door knew that when she flashed her tummy at me.
William has not been honest about our stay in the cattery. He was frightfully upset by the cat the other side of our chalet, the one in the picture here. He was a look alike - semi long haired tabby and white with markings like W's. Only bigger. Much bigger. Don't let anybody tell you that size doesn't matter. You can't be a cool cat if you are pretty, longhaired and small. Which William is, compared to certain lean black cats. And, worse for him, small compared with the tabby and white next door.
William just tried to ignore him. Then he told me he thought the cat looked like Hitler. Boy, did that show his paranoia. Or it was a pathetic attempt to smear the cat's reputation. Any cat can see for themselves on www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com that Hitler cats have to be black and white. They can't be tabby and white even if they have a small tabby moustache. Tabbies can't do Hitler.
Nor can black rapper street cats. Black is Beautiful. Black Pussycat Power. Slogans for cats... that's another blog entry.
I have you to know, I am one cool cat, even at my age--almost 13, well in August. I am still lean and one hunting machine. Well, it's kinda hot to be hunting today, it's 100 degrees F. on my porch, so I've elected to just snooze all day. However, wait until after dark. I'll be out there after those chipmunks and rabbits. Last evening the rabbits had the very nerve to be playing in MY side yard. They were out there chasing each other around making all sorts of noise in the leaves under the bushes. It drove me crazy. I hate you are still in the slammer, but surely your human will return soon from whereever she might be to rescue you from all those other cats!
ReplyDeleteOscar Snuggles
King of Tidewater
Jonesboro, GA USA
Hallo George, what a terrible time you are having - but there are some things worse than prison you know.......Two small children staying for the week while the parents went off to listen to loud music at glastonbury - Huh, we have enough loud music here! Frankly, I am exhausted - I have been flat out entertaining, every time I settled for a quick nap I would be found and 'cuddled', then carried about with my back legs trailing along the floor - this is not a dignified position - especially for a cool cat - I do so agree with you George that only 'all blacks' are cool - my brother and I are black from nose to tail. Unlike the poor sap next door, who is black and white and would probably do quite well in the ratings of 'cats that look like Hitler'. But we chase him off our territory easily, he has no balls at all (well, technically none of us do, but I'm sure you know what I mean - he is a poor thing). However, the only thing in favour of children is that there are often a few extra biscuits or some bits of chicken or fish finger - they do occasionally show their appreciation of all the work I am doing looking after them. Herself was rushing around fetching and carrying toys and trod on my tail twice and even shouted at me! They were far more interested in me than the toys, understandably but somewhat fatiguing.
ReplyDeleteThen she put up a tent in the garden so the children could play 'camping at Glastonbury' - I peed on it a couple of times just to let everyone know it was mine - (herself tried to hose it off)...It was extremely comfy inside, I could watch the rain falling and lie on cushions thoughtfully provided for my relaxation - only of course the children kept wanting me to play - and now she has taken it down - just when they have gone and I was about to have it to myself to really enjoy!
Wills, can't you explain to George about the superiority of age? The knowledge of the world and of the female of the species we oldies have, the ridiculousness of youth?
ReplyDeleteOne thing is for sure, he will get there, he will realise the things you have been trying to explain to him will come about for him all in good time. I will be 6 in September which, for a house bunny is middle aged. You and I should remain laid back as an example to youth.
Harvey.