William and I have been doing some serious planning while we are banged up. We dropped the idea of building a Trojan Mouse (hoping that Gill The Cattery Owner would take it home with both of us inside it). There were two major problems. One was just the problem of how to make it. Cat biscuits obviously weren't going to be as easy as planks and nails. They wouldn't really stick together. I tried chewing and spitting out a few, to see if they made a kind of glue. They didn't. The other problem, a graver one, was the humiliation we both would feel, having to cower inside a hollow Mouse. OK, so it would be a Trojan mouse, designed as an escape unit for prisoners. But it would still be an assault on our dignity as cats.
We have dropped the idea. Even as prisoners, we felt our dignity should be preserved. They cannot take that away from us. And moreover, we have eaten all the cat biscuits placed before us, and the cooked coley for lunch, and the tinned stuff and the large biscuits which are good for our teeth and anything else set before us. The only bright spot in our days here is the food and we eat heartily to keep up our strength for further escapes. It is our duty to do so. The food is quite different from what we get at home and we relish it. We may have to work on Celia's shopping choices if we ever make it out of here.
William spent the first two days hiding in the litter box. He said he wasn't hiding. He claimed it was an undercover strategy to make Gill The Cattery Owner take pity of him and get him out of here. If it was a strategy, he blew it. When she was combing his ruff, which is coming out in chunks, he bit her yesterday. That has put an end to any hope of his appealing to her better nature. She has noticeably cooled towards him.
So it was left to me. Charm the birds off tree, I thought. Use the smarm'n'charm strategy. I wound myself round her ankles. Looked up appealingly. Rubbed against her. Chirruped. Tried sliding out of the door as she opened it. Wiggled my attractive whiskers. No luck. Nothing worked. The struggle for freedom will continue!
I AM THE THE AUTHOR OF "A-Z. A CAT'S GUIDE TO HUMANS. "A must read for all felines,"-- Tilly the Ugliest Cat in the Shelter. "Saved me from so many mistakes with my new human,"-- Toby the Cross-Eyed Stray.
There are several questions to be asked. WHY ARE YOU THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? What criminal act did you (and William) commit to make it to the slammer, the big house, JAIL, of all places???!!!! How long are you going to be jailed? Where is your human? For Heaven's sake!!!
ReplyDeleteI have my human trained really well. She save me some (human) canned (in a tin) chicken--white meat, packed in water--this week. It was such a treat. I ate every single bits. She has now returned to the ordinary food. However, if I throw up, she will give me BABY FOOD--lamb, chicken and beef. So I might have to pull that trick to get a jar of the delicious baby food. The vet advised her to do that once when I was having some real problems. All that is good, but a man has to do what he has to do, so I do hunt and get the fresh stuff often. We have a new crop of chipmunks around the wood pile so I'll be out there for take away meals. :-)
Keep up your spirits and hopefully your human will return straight away to get you out of there. I HOPE she doesn't have you up for adoption!!!!
Keep being nice to the caretaker, perhaps they will leave the door ajar and you can escape, but you need to tell William of you plan, so he can stay ALERT!
Later,
Oscar Snuggles
Kingo of Tidewater
Jonesboro, GA USA