All I recall is that I was sleeping in my human kitten’s room the night before.
They won't even realise they are being trained. That's the beauty of training humans. They have no idea that we are doing it. Dumb animals indeed!!
|A racoon - not a good neigbour|
|My portrait by my human Nancy|
Can you imagine that I was invited to attend the Oscars last Sunday and I missed it because I couldn’t find a date? I was SO excited – I was supposed to sit right next to George Clooney! Can you imagine sitting next to him? But let me tell you why I missed it! Of course my mummy wouldn’t let me go alone so I had to find a date. I invited the George Clooney’s of cats (as Celia called him) I mean….Sir Winston! He kindly declined my invitation as he was having other commitments (in reality I think he secretly likes Cayenne more then he likes me)! Anyway, I desperately tried to find a tuxedo cat since who would have time to look for a proper suit before the show? I even tried to get you George but Celia played her tricks again! So, quite upset I watched the Oscars on TV. I was delighted to watch the Hollywood glamour! I was happy that the feline’s world was so well represented! Cute kitties with gorgeous coat, I mean dresses – Penelope Cruz, Michelle Williams, Cameron, Sandra. Wow! “Puss in the boots” nominated. I was in a dreamland until I’ve seen that little dog on stage! WHAT? A dog named Uggie at the Oscars? What name is this in the first place? And what was he doing there? Tell you what….he was begging (for treats)! Phew! Did Hollywood go nuts? Best movie with a dog named Uggie? They must be kidding! And he's on YouTube too. Anyway, to protest I got myself into this bag and I won’t come out until they edit the movie and get that dog out!
George, what do you think? Should we, the cats, punish the Hollywood?
It is too bad that I failed to receive your invitation to the Oscars. I would have broken the habit of a lifetime and accepted a white bow tie for my neck, since I don't have a tuxedo inbuilt into my fur colouring. If you and I had gone, I assure you that nobody, but nobody, would have looked at George Clooney. We would have been the centre of attention throughout.
I think we ought to start our own Feline Oscars. We could, for instance, nominate Larry from Downing Street for a prize (imagine having to live with all those politicians - horribly stressful) , Homer the Blind Cat (he fought off a burglar), and Oscar, the cat who does the rounds in a hospice (his medical skills allow him to know which patients are about to die). I personally would also nominate Tilly, the ugliest cat in the shelter who adopted Celia and helped her recover from breast cancer. Admittedly Tilly is so totally without glamour, being brown and scruffy (see photo), that she would have no chance of winning but she might like a nomination.
I don't think we will allow dogs to be entered. Like you I get tired of the attention paid to an ugly Jack Russell. He may be the star of a movie but he has let himself be trained by a human. That is hardly something to be admired.
Dogs just don't have a clue. They actually look up to humans. Dumb.
Send your cats photo, as an Oscar nomination, to me via my website, www.celiahaddon.com, and I will post it in this blog.
I’m a big dog! And I mean BIG! You might wonder what I’m doing here …on a cat blog.
To tell you the truth…I wonder myself, but the only explanation is that I must be a cat at heart! No kidding! May be they mixed things up at the pond? Of course I came from a shelter! But…..let’s see what would make me a cat:
I like teasing my humans. I feel such great joy chewing on their mobile phones or any slipper or clothing I can grab.
I enjoy stealing their food - I adore watching my “daddy” sipping from his favorite “single malt” while waiting for the grill to be just right and when it comes to put that big, juicy steak on it……the steak is gone (in my stomach)! You should see his face! I love him dearly but that big, juicy steak is such a temptation. So yummy! I feel sorry he has to eat the frozen meat.
I love to be pampered – I’m first to go to bed and the last to get up.
I can get away with murder like cats do; if I upset “my daddy” then I’m “mommy’s boy”. If I’m bad to mommy….then I’m daddy’s boy (that’s what cats do, right?)
I enjoy humans’ company not other dog’s – if we go for a walk I don’t like to be bothered by other dogs but I don’t mind nice humans to give me that extra rub
between my ears.
I think I’m the king of the house and I deserve the best. I’m convinced that the house is mine, the bed is mine, and the food is mine. All mine, mine, mine and me, me, me! Am I a cat or not?
The list can go on but, tell me George, what do you think?
I am giving you the Honorary Cat Award, for your excellent control of the household. There is no greater award than the HCA which is very rarely given to a dog.
But be careful..... I am all for dogs ruling the household, as long as there are no cats there. If there are, well cats obviously take the alpha role, dogs the beta role and somewhere near omega at the bottom are those dumb animals called humans (or apes if you are Whicky Wuudler). I assume you have no superior feline control, Max.
The difficulty for dogs is that humans train them. Or think they do. And occasionally, if you are a big dog and you get too cheeky, humans will take you to a specialist trainer. In the US and sometimes elsewhere this means a person who uses a cruel choke collar (sometimes to strangle and always to hurt) and trains by punishments. Trainers who train with yummy food are the only ones a dog should go to.
So, Max, don't ever bite your humans. You must be tempted to. We often are. We cats sometimes bite or scratch and we get away with it. Even humans realise our total superiority over their species. They accept our training methods (which however harsh do not include strangling).
I am open to the idea that feline training methods should include food treats. Chocolate would be the obvious treat to offer a human, but I have never managed to get hold of any. Even when there is a box available my humans pounce on it and guard it ceaselessly. They get really nasty if I try to extract even one choc. So I have to fall back on rubs and purrs to reward them. If you have a human under good control, it is possible to rule without punishment most of the time. As I am sure you know, Max.