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Saturday, August 02, 2014

Don't shove me through the cat flap..... puzzling human behaviour

Dear George,
You will never believe what Mummy's gone and done now!!
Last Sat, a strange man came and shoved my head through a plastic hole, a lot of banging followed, lo and behold, when I went to go out,t here was a very strange looking flap there!? Honestly!!.
Said it would stop other car coming in but I wasn't having it. She did hold it open for me to get out, so I did that one night, but no way would I come in, whatever treats I was offered. She even tried to push me,gently through!!.
So, next day, I found it tied open. So after driving her mad, I came in, but I think she's had to take the batteries out!!.
Last night, at 3.30 am, I was so hungry, I pushed it open and woke her up and was she excited!!! Worth it, so see what happens next.
I have been very loving as she looks so tired and worried, and haven't seen the horrid cat in my home any more. So perhaps, he doesn't fancy the plastic hole.
I wonder why they can't leave well alone. Cost £140 to supply and fit.
Love
A puzzled Tobyxx.

Dear Toby,
Humans never leave well alone. They are addicted to change - changing furniture, changing bedclothes, changing what they wear over their naked skin, change their work routines. We cats like an unvarying quiet routine but most of us don't get it, because of our flibbertigibbet humans.
Cat flaps. Don't get me started. What we need are human flaps that we can control. Imagine being able to keep your human in, when you wanted, or push him out when you wanted a bit of quiet time. Human flaps, or cat-operated doors, would be such a blessing.
You did right with the cat flap. Humans should never shove us through a cat flap. It is demeaning and frightening and who could like a cat flap after that?
Standard operating procedure for cats with a new cat flap is never to use it. Make the human think it has wasted its money. Then just before the human is going to dismantle it, use it. Never fails! After the anxiety and stress, the human literally falls at your feet with gratitude. And gratitude often means more food.
As for being puzzled.... you need to remember that humans, though endearing at times, do not think like we do. They are a very limited species.  If you bear that in mind, you will be less puzzled by their ridiculous behaviour.
Cheers, Toby.

6 comments:

  1. Did George retire? Or did he take a well deserved vacation?
    Diego

    ReplyDelete
  2. Touching your butt and pushing you through the cat flap? Are your humans insane? Tobyxx, you have to take immediate action.
    Use the cat flap until your humans start praising you. As they praise you stop using it and meow loud by the door; make them hold the door for you. Do this for few days or until they are frustrated...then, start using the flap again. You have to keep them constantly confused and eternally surprised :-)
    Hugs
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Am I missing something here or what?
    Did your humans tried to squeeze you thru the mail flop or what?
    Vegas

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm tiny enough to squeeze through the mail flop but that's no fun. Why good human parents want to do this when they can oblige and hold the whole door open for us?
    Baby Cloe

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are your humans generally speaking stoned? If they are ...you have to tip-toe around them and hide when it come to the cat flop. If they are never stoned....piss on them; bite, scratch, claw...get their blood...as they deserve to be punished!
    Hugs
    Demetra (from Greece)

    ReplyDelete
  6. A cat flap was a small entrance built into a door. It not only allowed a cat to enter a building easily, but also allowed the cat — or anything else — to leave it.

    Cat flaps

    ReplyDelete

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org