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Saturday, October 22, 2016

Pedigrees and moggies - equal in the eye of the Feline God (and sensible humans).

Dear George,
I ask you: what is the difference between me and a moggy? I see none! Do you?
To me… we (and I mean all cats) are beautiful, intelligent; superior to any other species! 
If this is true then why do human try to “create” differences between us based only on their biased opinion? Why do humans try to judge us based on color, breed, pedigree, sex, age, etc.? I’m 17 years old and I was named after Ricky Martin by my euphoric human after attending one of his concerts! Do I look like Ricky Martin? I don’t think so! Do I judge Ricky Martin based on his cuteness, hair, clothes or preferences? No!
If I look (at me) in a mirror I really think my human could have very well named me Snow White! See what I mean? But …would I be a different cat from who I am now? No! That’s what humans don’t understand and that’s why I was in hiding for years as I didn’t want to be part of my humans’ social life! Until last night… when I literally came out of the closet (see the photo) because we had guests: a moggy and her family.
I love that moggy! And she loves me! Nothing else matters!
George, you know her – you know her name and you know how cool she is!
I don’t want my humans to discriminate against her because of her origins!
What do I do?
In love with a moggy

Dear Ricky, 
Somebody told me it was CAT Victoria with whom you are hopelessly in love.... Her photo can be found in her post a week go but I am going to add it here. Just to remind myself. What she didn't tell me when she wrote to me, was that she was in the tree looking out for you. Just in case you passed by.
There isn't anything much different between you and her - only that you have a differently shaped face and longer differently coloured hair. Unfortunately human beings have stupid notions about class.They think pedigree cats are different in other ways from ordinary moggies. They are wrong. Persians like you enjoy hunting and playing and need all the same things that moggies do.
Just because you look different (and to human eyes more beautiful) doesn't mean you are not a cat like any other cat. And that means that pedigree cats and moggy cats are equal in feline eyes and in the eyes of sensible humans (alas, too few of them).
Long live moggies. And pedigrees. They are equal in the eyes of the Feline God (Blessed Be Bubastis).
PS. Some colour prejudiced humans don't even like black cats but I say "black is beautiful."

Friday, October 14, 2016

The Cat Intelligence Service - Victoria sets up hers.

Dear George, 
I decided to open my very own CIA which stands for Cats’ Intelligence Agency!
In a way it is similar to what is known as CIA by humans only that mine won’t serve any government or state; mine will only serve and protect cats’ goods and territory.
You may ask why I’m doing it. I know it is a lot of work and the job itself requires great skills but I’m tired of having my territory invaded every night and my food stolen.
I’m actively engaged in the task (spying) as I already opened the first office right in my backyard – as you can see in the photo. – and, of course, I plan to expand internationally!
George, what do you think of my idea….spying in the name of and for cats? But what if the intruder is one of our own? How do I punish him or her?
Also, what equipment do I need? A tree house? Camouflage? Undercover? I need all your wisdom to make a solid action plan!
Your advice George?
In camouflage
CAT Victoria

Dear Victoria,
So sensible to watch over your territory.  We all do it. We like high places which we can safely scan looking for enemies and intruders.  Being able to hide but look out is also good - so hiding places high up with a good view. Tree houses (if humans are willing to spend the money) would be ideal. Trees large enough with branches that are horizontal are also great. 
But if our humans won't supply us with watching places we can find out own - roofs, cars, fences.
Pixxi's human (see photo on right) made a little shelf for him so he could sit on it and scan the neighbourhood.
We are natural spies. If the human CIA or MI6 could only recruit us, we would achieve far more than our human equivalents.
We don't need equipment - just our own natural abilities. If you see an enemy just chase him off while making a lot of noise. Fighting is usually unnecessary.

PS. Can't get this blog to make the text bigger.

Saturday, October 08, 2016

Indoor plants - a warning to all us cats.

Dear George,
Look at me….don’t I look like a young professional? Of course I do as I just graduated from an Interior Design School!
I’m kidding you not! My only problem is that I’m not that familiar with herbs and plants!
I don’t know which are good for cats and which are not! And that’s a big “no-no” in my business! I know how to set up a room but….am I sitting in a pot with catnip?
I don’t think so! I need your help – PLEASE post a list with poisonous plants for cats!
If your secretary is up for the task….please tell me where there is a list with bad plants for cats! With your help I can foresee a bright future for myself!
In gratitude

Dear Buster,
The plant you are sitting on is not catnip. It's a jade plant (Crassula ovata). It's safe, but there is a list here of other indoor plants that are poisonous. Any human employing an interior designer better check this list.
Danger - Lilies.
It's not just the plants humans keep in your home: it's also the cut flowers that they put in their homes. Lilies are the most dangerous of all for cats. Everything about them is poisonous - flowers, leaves and pollen. If even a tiny amount of pollen falls on a cat's coat, the cat will lick it off when grooming and can be severely ill, sometimes fatally ill. So humans should ban lilies from the home. Or at least cut off the stamens with their pollen and keep the lilies completely away from our reach.

If you are an indoor cat, there are other house plants that will make you sick if you nibble them - poinsettia, Christmas cherry (solanum), dumb cane and others here.
So tell your human to buy you some kitty grass. So you can nibble safely. We indoor cats cannot get grass from outdoors.

Saturday, October 01, 2016

Making Food into Fun - get your human servant to do DIY.

Dear George,
I am an indoor only cat and I am getting fat. The truth is that I am bored. There's not much to do in the house, as both my humans go out to work. So I eat. It passes the time. It makes me feel better. And when I have eaten, then I sleep a lot.
Every now and again my humans reduce the amount of food they give me. I hate that. It makes me feel hungry all day.  I miaow for food. I stand up on my hind legs for food. I wake them up in the early hours for food.
The diet never lasts long: they just give in.
None of us are very happy. I hate the diets. They worry about my weight. Any ideas?

Dear Herbie,
There is a lot your humans should be doing for you. They shouldn't be putting food down in a bowl. They should make it into active fun. They should be hiding it around the house. Or putting it in cardboard boxes, or in little play balls where you have to move the ball around to get the food out.
I have helped my human develop a series of home-made food fun toys - you can see them here.And check out the IKEA cat tower below made by Waltham for their cats.  Indoor cats that live in groups would really love this one. We need to get our humans to do more DIY to give us more activities and make food into fun.
Copyright WALTHAM Centre for Pet Nutrition, Mars Petcare

PS. She never gave me credit for my work on "her"website.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Are humans becoming more stupid? You gotta read this!

Dear George,
I was chatting to my feline friend Ying the other day and we agreed that our own humans appeared more stupid day by day. That they needed frequent retraining to keep them up to the mark.
Ying, who got his paws on the computer, decided to google "Is Modern Man More Stupid?" and discovered an amazing fact. Homo sapiens actually has an anatomical brain which is smaller than that of their ancestors, the Neanderthals. Apparently this is a fact.
It is all our fault. It has been well known that animals like dogs have smaller brains than wild wolves - due to domestication making them more puppy-like. 
Since we domesticated humans, the same thing has been happening. Humans have become more and more childish (a recent incident with them pushing me off the bed last night comes to mind). 
And their brains have shrunk as a result.
I await your comments with interest....

Dear Yang,
At last the explanation for what appears to be Celia's growing inability to do what I want when I want it and how I want it! Years of training her are forgotten in an instant.  I have tried to be understanding and have put it down to growing cognitive dysfunction as her brain ages.
Now I realise this is just the result of domesticating her and the human race. Maybe we should have left them alone.... What an amazing piece of information.
Yours gratefully,

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online