Monday, May 22, 2023

The way cats live in Serbia

 


My human has come back with information about the lifestyle of a Serbian cat named Radosh. He has what humans (idiots that they are) call an "owner," Darko.

Radosh's life is completely different from mine. I am kept indoors all the time and fussed over by my human. Radosh leads an extraordinarily free life.

Indeed,Darko, unlike my human, does not interfere in Radosh's life very much, except to feed him when he turns up. 

Radosh has never had the operation that changed me into a home-loving cat! He has all his bits.

In winter Radosh disappears completely. Last summer he turned up again fat and healthy but the summer before he turned up looking thin and not very well. 

Where had he been? It remains a mystery.

Darko has not the slightest idea. 

Is Radosh like an unfaithful human husband, two-timing Darko with another human? Purrhaps.

In the mountains of the Balkan nation of Serbia, cats live differently, apparently, from the way we cats in the UK live now.

I think we have a better lifestyle but we do miss out on adventure, hunting and love.


Saturday, May 13, 2023

Black cats matter too.


There is something odd about humans and thier attitude towards colour. They don't seem to like the colour black - which is why beautiful black cats stay longer in rescue shelters.

This colour prejudice means that my fellow cats, who just happen to be black, are ignored or even passed over by would-be human adopters.

Let's be clear. Black cats are as beautiful and mysterious and affectionate as any other coloured cat. They deserve a loving home. So help them get it.

Don't let your human be part of the problem. Puursuade them to spread the word and become part of the solution.

Black cats matter!


  • My human is being boring and insisted on adding this pictures of "her" book. She just typed the manuscript when my paws got sore. All the worthwhile content is mine.


Saturday, May 06, 2023

No cats at the Coronation!

There are no cats at the British coronation. Not a whisker of one. 

 Larry the famous Downing St cat was not invited to Westminster Abbey. Neither was Palmerston of the Foreign Office invited out of retirement for the occasion.

Attlee, the new cat who has adopted the Speaker at the House of Commons will also be absent. His pet, Sir Lindsey Hoyle, however, will attend in his place.

Rumour has it that there is no place for any feline at Buckingham Palace for one good reason. Dogs will pledge allegiance any day even if it is in return for a biscuit. 

Cats won't. They don't do loyalty. Felines are republicans. They grovel to nobody. Canines are loyal royalists.

Remember the Civil War, when we cut off the head of Charles the First? 

Who's for doing it again, fellow felines?

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Graveyards are feline parks.


Thank the God of cats for cemeteries. For cats who live in urban areas, graveyards and cemeteries are parks - green spaces in a wilderness of brick and concrete. We can wander in these spaces without the fear of harassment from angry gardeners.

Of course, they are not entirely animal or wildlife sanctuaries, due to human obsessive neatness. They will mow the lawn down to the roots. They also persist in leaving trashy plastic flowers instead of the real thing. Poor ignorant beings.


But for cats, if not for other wildlife, there are trees and short grass and the flatter old tombstones make a nice resting place. I prefer the older tombs, myself, as there is less human disturbance in the older areas.

There is almost always a church nearby - a place where there is shelter from the rain if only in a porch. I myself have attended the occasional funeral, to the amazement and delight of the mourners.

My friend, Jake, used to haunt a church in the hope that a friendly human would adopt him. Finally, as he lay almost dying just outside the porch under the yew tree, a kindly lady picked him up and took him home.

For the graveyard - as some those humans whose tombs I use also believed -- was the start of a happier life.

 


  • She's written a book ....  She'd like me to keep putting this on the blog. But I tell her she can only have smaller text!! There are limits to her purrsistence desire for publicity.

Saturday, April 22, 2023

A purr gets more than a nip


 Do you want to get the most out of your human? Do you want food, or stroking, or an opened door? Think smart....

A purr may be more effective than a nip. A nip gets human attention immediately. Very effective in one way. But only in one way... And is is the right kind of attention?

A purr allied with rubbing against your human's legs might get attention just as well. And a different more rewarding kind of attention.

Humans are easily flattered. They respond to a show of affection even if it is not genuine. Try the following when you want something:

  • Purr. Purr loudly and often. Humans fall for this one almost every time.
  • Purr and croak. This is a purr that has a bit of a miaow in it which makes it more urgent. And louder. I recommend this when the human is not attending.
  • Miaow. Loudly but not too often. If you miaow too much, the human may stop attending.
  • Rub your body against legs. Always useful in the kitchen.
  • Rub the face against your human's face. Very useful for waking them up in the night.
  •  Paw poke without claws. This must be done gently and carefully. 
  •  Slow blink. This only works with sensitive humans who pay attention to your body language. The stupid human won't get this or notice it. And most humans are stupid.
Act: do not react. Always ask yourself - what is the best way to get what I want...

 


 

 


Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org