Make your pet an indoor-only human

We cats have all the space in the world: but humans should be kept in.

Keeping human pets indoors-only is a fashion that is sweeping the world. Yes, the world. 
For years we human behaviourists have advised that if humans are allowed to roam freely, hunting in supermarkets and in bars, they are at risk. They may enjoy being outside, but it is a risk to their health, particularly the health of the elderly pets.
Now the world is listening to our advice. Lock down your human.
So my guidance to all cats is simply this: Keep your human inside the house as much as possible. 
You can allow visits to the garden, if you bodyguard them to stop human-to-human contact. Garden exercise will help your pet avoid frustration. But that's all.
Indoor-only humans are healthier and more available for their home duties.

• For more about managing your human, get my book here.
  

Feline plot failure

Larry the British Top Cat was within a whisker of political triumph last week. 
Larry, a master feline manipulator, is at the centre of British government (Number 10 Downing St) having seen off three human prime minsters. But he has been plagued by a mongrel dog who has been power sharing with him.
The Times claimed that Dilyn the dog was on the way out. The reason?
The pregnancy of Carrie Symonds, partner of Britain's fertile Prime Minster Boris Johnson. Human females find pregnancy long and difficult and only give birth to one kitten at a time. Pathetic, compared with our litters. As a result humans are paranoid about pregnancies.
So a clever bit of fake mews was put out by Larry supporters who feel he needs Number 10 to himself. Dylin was a danger to the pregnancy and would go.
We cats don't care much for human kittens which are noisy, leak at both ends, and very late developers.  But the absence of Dilyn would have made up for a lot.
Alas, the plot failed. Dylin stays...
 

• If you want to know more about coping with human babies read my book here

COVID 19 and the butt kiss.

Are humans safe? We need a new etiquette to deal with diseased humans. I call it the butt kiss.
Humans are, unlike cats, very bad at washing. Standing for two minutes under the shower is no substitute for the thorough careful washing we give ourselves from nose to tail.
Now their general lack of hygeine is catching up on them and they are in a panic about a new virus.  Worse still it seems they may be able to pass this on to us. Or so the Hong Kong authorities seem to think. Read it here. 
They say humans should not be overly concerned and should not abandon their pets. But what about us cats? Surely we should be concerned. Our health may be at risk.
Should we abandon our humans? I think not. But, if you have a human that slobbers over you, or breathes in your face, turn your back and present butt. 
If they must kiss and slobber, they can kiss our backsides!

Once we were gods.....

Once we were gods.  I have sent my human researcher, Celia to find out more. This is just one of her preliminary images, on which I hope to improve in a later blog. 
What happened? Truth to tell being a goddess wasn't all sparrows, mice and devoted human servants in the temple.
The ancient Egyptians seem to have combined cat gods and cat sacrifices. There were horrifying cemeteries with literally thousands of dried up and mummified cats. And research shows that these were not old cats, lovingly buried after a lifetime being worshipped in the temple. They were young, healthy and killed before their time, in order to be mummified for the next life.
The next life.... did it have rats and mice to hunt? Did it have succulent little birds? Was there sexy caterwauling on the sands of the next life? We cannot know.
I love this life, not the next.

• To find out more about humans read my book here.

Strange human areas - churchyards

If you live in the country, you may find an interesting local hunting ground. It consists of grass with upright strange shaped stones.
If you are lucky the grass is uncut and there are lots of mice and insects to hunt. Alas, many church yards (so called by humans) are ruined by short grass, thus reducing the wildlife available. However even the neatest church yards usually have some trees - evergreen yews. If these are old, they are easy to climb.
They also drop fruity seeds which are poisonous to humans but a feast for some birds. So, while there may not be mice, there may be birds to catch.
Finally, in the rubbish area, the best place for wildlife, you may find heaps of rotting grass and old rotting flowers - and therefore grass snakes. Or, if you are lucky the occasional rat. 
Check it out....


For more about human ecology and resources get my book here.