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Friday, February 14, 2020

Poetry in motion - the cat walk

This is the cat walk. Watch the purrfect co-ordination of our four legs. We walk on our toes. We move both legs on one side of the body before the legs on the other side. 
But the legs on either side do not hit the ground at the same time, so that most of the time three legs are still on the ground. So our gait is both fluid and stable.
Unlike the ungainly two legged gait of humans. As a famous human writer admitted "Four legs good: two legs bad."
As for their feet.... almost useless toes on a flattened large pad. Pathetic.


  • For more about ungainly humans get my book here.

Saturday, February 08, 2020

That look. Make guilt work for you....

The guilty look? Not a bit of it. We cats do not do guilt. Not the tiniest bit of guilt. Never ever.
It's true that there were lick marks on the butter. But that was the fault of my human for leaving it out on the kitchen surface. She is the guilty one.
Humans do guilt big time. And we can profit by it. 
Learn how to put on the sad look, the disappointed look, the I-am-only-a-kitten look, or the Don't-you-love-me look, when they are refusing that titbit from their plate.
This makes them feel bad inside and as the guilt grows, they waver and then succumb. 
So make their guilt work for you....


  • If your human loves you, she will get my guide here

Saturday, February 01, 2020

Feline evolutionary superiority.

Cats are the highest life form, superior beings. We have climbed to the top of the tree of life. And this useful diagram shows our superiority. 
Just below cats come humans, laughingly self-styled Homo Sapiens, and just below them (only just) the big apes. We are above all these.
What other mammal has the wit to be dominant over humans? To populate the whole world, including islands were humans cannot or do not exist? To be equally at home in the wild, as in domestic life? 
Share this image to other cats.... Spread the word that felines will be around long after humans have vanished. 


  • For more details of our superiority order my book here.

Friday, January 24, 2020

Keep dogs in their place

Dogs look up to humans.... I know that sounds incredible, but they do. They are eager to please and willing to obey.
Proof if you ever need it that they are a species totally unlike us.
The dogs we live with may be safe, but we should never assume other dogs are. Strange dogs are never to be trusted. Some of them have been taught, yes taught, to chase cats. Others just do it for fun. 
Cats have lost their lives in the jaws of dogs.
Even a household dog must be kept in its proper place. Don't be afraid to swipe or bite. Most dogs that live with us are cowards at heart and will retreat if attacked. It's usually only strange dogs that we have to run from.
 Dogs should be lowest in the pecking order. The hierarchy should go like this: 

Top: Cat, 
Middle: Human, 
Bottom: Dog.

For  information on how to train a dog go to:

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Fattism and human hypocrisy.

My friend Boomer liked his grub.
"Fat cats" is a term of insult among humans, when applied to other humans that are rich. And now there is growing "fattism" applied to cats.
Vets are campaigning to slim us down, arguing that obesity isn't good for our health.
But look at the humans all around us. They are huge...not just tall and large but round with gigantic drooping bellies. How can they talk! They should start slimming down and eating less, before they lecture us about it.
It's unfair. It's one rule for cat and one rule for humans. Some of them even restrict our food, weighing out a daily portion. Meanwhile they are gorging on three meals a day, snacks in between, unhealthy crisps, burgers, KFC chicken, chocolate, doughnuts, cake and take away Chinese.
Hypocritical humans! Down with feline fattism.


 

For more on human behaviour read my book here

Help for cats whose humans show behaviour problems.

This blog is devoted to the study of human behaviour. We cats, who live with this sometimes unpredictable and always feeble minded species, can benefit from seeing their behaviour in its proper scientific context. The study of feline dilemmas, training problems, and difficulties with humans, can only benefit all of us. All of us train our humans - to buy the right food, for instance, but many of us do not have knowledge of how to improve our training methods. The human species is obviously not as intelligent as the cat, but nevertheless can learn quite a lot - if properly managed. Topics of interest include the use of claw and order, purring as a human reward, rubbing your human up the right way, when to bite, spraying as a method of making our wishes known, ignoring the human, human harassment, human inattention and sheer human stupidity. I welcome your questions. Photos can be sent via my secretary's website, www.celiahaddon.com This blog has been chosen as one of the top 50 feline blogs by Online VetTechprogramms.org