It hurts, you stupid human!

 

Ouch.. why do humans do that? The vet was pulling my leg around so I doubled back and bit him.

Then my human apologized as if I had done something wrong. He had hurt me. He should have apologized to me.

What did he expect, handling me like that. His explanation (not to me but to her) was that he was palpating me! Palpating! Not so much palpating as punishing me with pain.

You just can't get through to them. As if it wasn't enough that I am getting stiff with arthritis in my old age! Of course that makes me grumpy. Oldies in pain always are. Not just cats but humans too.

It's that flooring in the kitchen that is to blame. I have to go there to eat and use the litter tray, but it's hard and slippery tiles. What I need is non-slip flooring or carpet.

The litter tray is getting difficult too. She should get me one with an easy entrance. It hurts when I have to lift my legs to get into it. 

One day I won't bother. I will just pee on the floor. And she will blame me, rather than the high sides of the litter tray.

I could do with a ramp on to the sofa, and on to the bed. Yet it has never occurred to her. Why doesn't the vet suggest this instead of pain-palpitating me! A fat lot of good that is.

I heard him say "weight loss." Food is almost the only pleasure I have left. Why didn't he say "Flooring."

Humans - dumb animals without any empathy for elderly cats! I 

Cats are smarter than babies.

That cats are more clever than babies is not news for us cats. It is obvious to any cat who has compared human babies with kittens.

Kittens can walk at the age of two weeks: babies are still unable to do this at that age. Kittens are litter trained by eight weeks: babies are not potty trained until about one to three years (depending on their mothers' skills).

Now scientists have tested how quickly cats can make an association of a word with a picture. They can do this more quickly than babies.

Is this surprising? Not in the least. Human babies are incredibly slow to develop physical and mental skills compared with kittens. 

Sad that scientists have to rediscover obvious truths. But that is how humans work...

We just get on with enjoying warmth and sunlight and good food and hunting. 

Wiser than dumb humans? Of course.

 

• Here is the original report - https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-024-74006-2 

"Elections?" No, cat shelters.

Stray cats in Idaho love US "elections", I have been told by feline friends. It is all because of the election signs humans put on their lawns.

These are useless rectangles with markings upon them that humans call writing. Some rectangles are blue. Some are red (though this colour is difficult for me to see.) Don't ask me why because I don't know.

Why they create these idiotic useless signs is beyond my understanding. Humans get excited about such odd things and do so many pointless things.

But there is a human in Idaho who makes these plastic rectangles into insulated cat shelter boxes, so that stray cats can keep warm in winter.  

So there is one sensible human who knows what really matters. And it isn't this so called "election." 

We cats dread Christmas....

 

My idiotic relative Percy likes Christmas

There may be some cats that enjoy Christmas, but I don't. And  almost all the cats I am acquainted with simply loathe it. Except for Percy on the left.

 The only good thing about Christmas is the turkey. There is usually a lot left over at the end of the day, so I might get some as a treat.

Otherwise it is a nightmare of humans - babies, toddlers (ugh!), harassed adults. Young children may even try to "dress" me.

Strangers invade the house. They ruin the family scent that I have carefully created by rubbing against my normal human and the furniture.

They smell wrong, wrong, wrong... Worse still, some of them smell of dog. And worst of all, sometimes they bring a dog into my home.

Some of the humans get drunk too. That makes them vocalise loudly and sometimes leads to a vocal fight among the relatives. It is a grim time.

What can a self-respecting cat do? Well I retire to the spare bedroom (if it is unoccupied) or loaf around on my human's bed. 

I suppose I should be grateful that I am not put into a cattery. Some of my feline friends languish in solitary confinement while their humans go for a holiday.

Christmas is coming.... and I dread it.

Phew, the danger is over... but another to come

 

This is the worst time of year for all cats, particularly black ones. Why? Because humans celebrate Halloween and then in the UK Guy Fawkes night (G.F. being the man who tried to blow up the House of Commons.)

In the USA Halloween (October 31) is particularly dangerous for black cats, because some yobs will chuck them on to bonfires. Worse still, cat-lovers will pick up stray black cats and deliver them to cat shelters.

What's wrong with that? Well, apart from no-kill shelters, black cats are often euthanised because they are more difficult to rehome. So these "rescued" black cats may get killed because by the shelter itself.

This Halloween danger is particularly bad in the US. In the UK, where fortunately almost all shelters are no-kill, black cats are not routinely euthanised. 

But bonfires and fireworks are still dangerous to cats whether at Halloween or Guy Fawkes night. Street yobs think it is funny to throw bangers at passing cats or, worse, tie them on a cat. 

That's one danger. Even if the cat isn't hurt, they may run off and get lost.

The other danger is bonfires. Not many humans are vile enough to throw a cat on a bonfire, but nonetheless some cats get burned in these fires.

A stray cat looking for shelter, may tunnel in to a bonfire before it is lit. (So may hedgehogs). Often a bonfire is built a few weeks before the celebration in order to collect enough material.

Then if nobody bothers to check before lighting it, any animals who took refuge there are burned to death.

So purrlease keep us safe this coming Firework Night in the UK.

 

*Want to know more about what it is like being rescued? Read this book for the inside story.