The joy of scratching....

 

Humans amuse me! Particularly scientists! They have been studying why we scratch and have come up with some delightful theories - mainly that we scratch because we are stressed.

Ridiculous, of course. We scratch because we enjoy it. I love the way it makes my claws tingle, the relief when an old claw sheath falls off, the satisfaction of a good long stretch of the whole body.

It's fun, humans. We do it because we can - where we can, when we can, and how we can.

So maybe we scratch a bit more often to cheer ourselves up when we are stressed... but the basic reason is the joy of scratching.

Purrsonally I enjoy the edge of the sofa best. The furniture covering has just the right kind of tension to make my claws tingle. 

And  scratching on the furniture always gets my human's attention -  "Gerroffit" she shouts! So satisfying.

I also scratch the doormat when she comes home. This is a courtesy greeting to say "I am so pleased you came home, look at the way I show it."

Other pleasing scratch places are the  table legs in the kitchen, the door to the bedroom (when I am shut out by mistake) and of course the early morning scratch on the side of the bed to wake her up.

But best of all was the wonderful scratch I once had on an oak tree. Get your human to buy a forest.

 

Giving a home to a homeless human....

No, this isn't Giles... but I wouldn't mind fostering a Aussie firefighter....

 I have just taken in a homeless human.... well, sort of. I have my own permanent pet human, Celia, and lately I added a temporary foster human, Giles. He won't be staying long only until he has found a new home! 

He's more or less trained. Not a stray. Puts out food when I ask him. Pets me when I get close enough. So now I have two human servants rather than one.

They more or less get on together - though there is some disagreement about TV programmes and both of them show an unhealthy addiction to smart phones rather than focusing solely on me.

Last Thursday was Homeless Animals Day. I have mixed feelings about that. Of course, I want more human homes for cats, but I don't necessarily want my own home invaded by another cat. I like living alone.

There is a pesky foster kitten in my spare room at the moment and I am not at all pleased. Foster humans I can bear: foster cats I hiss at when I see them.

Luckily the kitten will be going soon..... But I shall miss the foster human when he goes.

Yum, yum....

 I have decided to apply for a job in a Chinese pet food laboratory - as a taster. These humans have been testing what flavours we like best using chicken liver spray.

Now chicken liver - or other liver - is what I like almost best in the world, though my human says that it is toxic if I eat too much of it too often. Just a tiny taste is all that I should have.

But purrhaps if I was in that laboratory I would get much more of it....

So what were their findings? Only what we cats know very well indeed. We don't like sweet. We don't even taste sweet. We like savory or unami (as they call it.) The meatier the taste the more we like it.

That's why we have to train our humans to buy us the most expensive cat food - expensive because there is more real meat in it and less carbs.

And while I mention this, it's amazing that I can successfully train my human in this way. I don't have to go to the supermarket with her. She just does what I have told her to do

even though I am not there to make her do it. This is long distance training... we are experts at this.

Want to brush up on training techniques? Read my book, One Hundred Ways for a Cat to Train its Human. Buy it here. It really works.

Childless cat ladies are wonderful!

 I don't take a lot of notice when my human becomes upset, but last week I couldn't miss her distress. Some bearded git, the would-be Republican vice president in the USA, has said that "childless cat ladies" live miserable lives. 

The insult got to her. She doesn't have children because her husband couldn't. And yes, she has cats. Me, of course.

Is her life miserable? I don't think so. She misses her husband who died, but otherwise has a full emotional life. Yes, a full emotional life with me.

• We love and care for each other.
  
• We sleep together. 
• We communicate with purrs and human "catty" talk. 
  
• We spend time in the garden together.
• I spend time in a warm cat bed near her computer supervising her work.  
• I take a great deal of interest in what she cooks.
• I try to clean up any food that has fallen on the kitchen floor.
• I greet her when she comes home.
  
• And I look beautiful.
  

She is not miserable. She is a happy cat lady and I am determined to help her stay that way, Mr JD Vance.

I hope you lose the US election

Are we getting on together?

 Most humans are too dumb to read our body language. So they don't pick up the clues that cats are not getting on. Sure, they may recognise a cat fight but more sublte signs pass them by.

Take for instance these two cats. The black cat is arching his back and standing sideways to the tabby the white cat. His tail is bristling and is standing up then going down. He is making himself look as big as possible to threaten the other cat.

The tabby and white has his ears retracted showing anger and they are also slightly pulled down the sides of the head showing some fear. 

His body is stiff with tension because he is readying himself for fight or flight. Another sign of his fear is that his body weight is on his back feet.

Yes, some cats do get on.  But some cats definitely do not.

Now some human scientists have come up with explanation and advice to these dumb humans. You can download their guidelines here 

Take-home message for stupid humans is 

• Don't take in too many cats
• Recognise the signs of inter cat tension
• Make sure each cat has a safe haven
• Don't feed cats in a row. Feed them at a decent distance from each other.
  
• Be creative in helping cats avoid each other - cat trees, lots of cat beds, lots of food and water in different occasions, a litter tray for each cat and one extra.