I know your name, human!

 

We aren't dumb, you know. I can recognise my own name when my human calls me. And, it seems, some of us can match a name of a fellow cat to their photo, even match the name of a human to a photo.

If we can be bothered, that is.

Japanese researchers named a fellow resident cat, and then showed us either the right photo or the wrong photo of that cat. We spent more time looking, if it was the wrong photo because that was unexpected. They did the same with a photo of our owner.

O, these human obsessives....  I notice that one of the cats refused to take part in this waste-of-my-time behaviour by the researchers! He had better things to do - like a nap or a bowl refill.

I think I would have had better things to do. I know I am purrfectly intelligent. I don't need to take part in clumsy human experiments to show off.

I purr, therefore I am.

 

 

What's the meaning of a chin rub?

 My humans are not always happy when I go round the living room, rubbing my chin against the door frame, the chair leg and various other places. I also rub against any new item placed in the room.

What they dislike - if they notice it - is a tiny smear in the places which I have rubbed repeatedly. Sometimes they clear it up using water and soap. 

That absolutely ruins all my hard work. And it's very stressful for me.

I am rubbing my cheek against the furniture and walls in order to mark this place as my safe home. It's important to me that I do this. It's like a post-it note to myself, reassuring me that all is well and I can relax.

Each time some interfering human wipes it off, I have to put it back on. And I have to keep it topped up with frequent cheek rubs, so that the whole place smells RIGHT to me.

Take your horrible human hands off my skirting boards!

How water should I drink?

How much should I drink? Well it's complicated but it's been estimated I need 50-60 ml of water for each kilogram of body weight. And while dogs are always filling up with water, I don't always drink as much as I need.

Obviously if I am fed wet food I will need less water than if I am fed dried food. Tap water is just as acceptable as filtered water - and rain water outside may be preferred anyway. It all depends on my personal preferences.

The bowl makes a difference too. I prefer to drink from a bowl that is NOT next to my food bowl. I am not a human being drinking as I eat. I drink separately.

Best of all would be a choice. A bowl in the kitchen, perhaps and one in the  bedroom for a night time sip. And, for cats allowed out into the garden, a bowl of rainwater would be lovely.

Cheers. Help me drink more.

A cat's guide to human separation

 

This is the right kind of cat loving partner - blanked for privacy

Humans pride themselves on being sexually more continent than cats - but the briefest look at human sex shows that this is far from true. They get together but when they separate there is caterwauling, ill feeling and a lot of resentment.

For us cats it is much simpler. We get in the mood, we go out and find others, and we get it all over with lots of caterwauling, lots of partners, and lots of sex. Then we come home and wait for kittens. We do not worry about what happened on the roof that night.

Separation is not always bad for cats. When one human leaves, there is more room on the bed for us. There is usually more human attention, even if the tears and would-be hugs (which most of us hate) are an embarrassment.

Sometimes we need to rehome a new partner that is ruining our lives. Of course we can put up with less space on the bed, and we can put up with more interruption from the two humans. But occasionally there is a partner that does not like cats.

These are people, usually male humans, that keep us out of the bedroom. The cheek of it. I don't mind sharing my bed with a human but being pushed off it altogether is too much. 

How to deal with this? Show very obvious terror every time the bloke is around. Mew piteously and give that helpless look to the female. Shiver - yes, I know that cats don't shiver from fear but most humans don't realise that. 

If she loves you enough, she will get the message and rehome him. If she doesn't start visiting neighbours to see if you can rehome yourself.

Cats are taking over....

 

We have always been in children's books but now we are slinking our way into adult literature. As detectives.The latest detector cat is Yowl, hero of TAILs: The Animal Investigators of London. You will notice that Yowl is out front on the cover, though he has a little help from the other animals.

Another small step for Yowl but a giant leap for catkind.  We've more or less conquered the internet: now it is time to conquer in print.

We are well suited for detection. I can hear the tiniest ultrasonic squeak from behind the skirting board - humans cannot. I can also detect a small insect moving across the floor that evades the attention of the human eye.

I can smell who was last inside or on top of the bed - whether iindividual cat or individual human. I can see in the dark. And, most of all, I notice what humans don't.

More detector cats, purrlease.