That look. Make guilt work for you....

The guilty look? Not a bit of it. We cats do not do guilt. Not the tiniest bit of guilt. Never ever.
It's true that there were lick marks on the butter. But that was the fault of my human for leaving it out on the kitchen surface. She is the guilty one.
Humans do guilt big time. And we can profit by it. 
Learn how to put on the sad look, the disappointed look, the I-am-only-a-kitten look, or the Don't-you-love-me look, when they are refusing that titbit from their plate.
This makes them feel bad inside and as the guilt grows, they waver and then succumb. 
So make their guilt work for you....

• If your human loves you, she will get my guide here. 

Feline evolutionary superiority.

Cats are the highest life form, superior beings. We have climbed to the top of the tree of life. And this useful diagram shows our superiority. 
Just below cats come humans, laughingly self-styled Homo Sapiens, and just below them (only just) the big apes. We are above all these.
What other mammal has the wit to be dominant over humans? To populate the whole world, including islands were humans cannot or do not exist? To be equally at home in the wild, as in domestic life? 
Share this image to other cats.... Spread the word that felines will be around long after humans have vanished. 

• For more details of our superiority order my book here.

Keep dogs in their place

Dogs look up to humans.... I know that sounds incredible, but they do. They are eager to please and willing to obey.
Proof if you ever need it that they are a species totally unlike us.
The dogs we live with may be safe, but we should never assume other dogs are. Strange dogs are never to be trusted. Some of them have been taught, yes taught, to chase cats. Others just do it for fun. 
Cats have lost their lives in the jaws of dogs.
Even a household dog must be kept in its proper place. Don't be afraid to swipe or bite. Most dogs that live with us are cowards at heart and will retreat if attacked. It's usually only strange dogs that we have to run from.
 Dogs should be lowest in the pecking order. The hierarchy should go like this: 

Top: Cat, 
Middle: Human, 
Bottom: Dog.

For  information on how to train a dog go to:

Fattism and human hypocrisy.

My friend Boomer liked his grub.

"Fat cats" is a term of insult among humans, when applied to other humans that are rich. And now there is growing "fattism" applied to cats.
Vets are campaigning to slim us down, arguing that obesity isn't good for our health.
But look at the humans all around us. They are huge...not just tall and large but round with gigantic drooping bellies. How can they talk! They should start slimming down and eating less, before they lecture us about it.
It's unfair. It's one rule for cat and one rule for humans. Some of them even restrict our food, weighing out a daily portion. Meanwhile they are gorging on three meals a day, snacks in between, unhealthy crisps, burgers, KFC chicken, chocolate, doughnuts, cake and take away Chinese.
Hypocritical humans! Down with feline fattism.


 

For more on human behaviour read my book here. 

Radiators versus woodburners

This time of year heat is vital to stop cats shivering through the winter. Blow-heaters ruffle the fur unpleasantly. Electric fires usually give out heat above the carpet. Radiators and wood burning stoves are more acceptable.
Both have advantages and disadvantages.
Radiators allow one to soak up heat through the belly by lying underneath. Oddly enough, humans never do this and therefore they have designed radiators that are too small for lying-down humans. Radiators, however, are the ideal size for cats.
There is one major problem. They stop working at night when it is coldest and mean minded humans also turn them off during the day, while they are "at work." No wonder so many of us stroll down the road looking for a human that keeps the heat on all day.
Wood burners are usually lighted up only in the evenings, when our humans return. But even when no more wood is added, they stay warm for hours right into the early morning. They also make interactive TV for kittens like Blossom (above).
Ideal homes, like mine, have both.

 

•  For more mewsings on humans order my book here.