Whiskers - size matters.

Dear George,
If you look at my photo, you will see that I now have magnificent whiskers. They are about 6 inches long and white, apart from two little ones furthest from my mouth which are darker.
I am particularly proud of them because I used to be whisker-challenged when I lived as a street cat. I had whiskers, of course. But they were small and not at all attractive.
Now I consider these big ones one of my most attractive features.Their size is wonderful but I also like the discreet way they are white rather than ginger. This gentle contrast suits me. It is not as blatant as the white whiskers on a black and white cat or black whiskers on a black whiskerpad like yours. Personally I consider those just a little bit vulgar.
Mine are long, white and (I think) a sign that I have put my past behind me and have taken my place among gentlecats.
Yours proudly
Toby.

Dear Toby,
 What on earth is wrong with white whiskers on a black and white cat? Or black whiskers on a black cat like me? Your cattitude smacks of social climbing. I can only remind you that while you can take the cat off the street, you can't take the street out of the cat.
Who is the cat that steals food out of the bread bin and even out of the food recycling bin? Which cat is it, that will shamelessly eat crumbs put out for the birds? And has even been spotted eating a stolen cold potato? I have never been a thief.
I take particular offence at your prejudiced remarks about black whiskers. My whiskers may not be as long as yours, but I came from a privileged background, a private boarding pen not far from Witney, where I was brought up by a human Nanny. No question in my case of living on the street.
We cats, who came from a correct social background, do not make unhelpful comparisons of whisker size or whisker colour. Personal remarks like this are not the mark of a true gentlecat.
Yours in disgust.
George

Can I train my human to stop playing that loud music?

Dear George,
I’m Lenny, named of course after the great Leonard Cohen. I’m six years old now but when I was much younger I adopted a human family.

I don’t recall all the details as I was quite busy training them from day one, especially the male human who wasn’t that much into cats I think. I never had an issue with my female human – she’s well trained; she is the perfect mom.
But, between you and me George, I must admit I adore my human kitten; she is pretty, she’s fun and she is a good friend. We play together, we eat together, we listen to music together – we spend lots of time together. My problem is my male human, her daddy!
Yes, he warmed up to me lately but I don’t think he really understands that “cats rule”.
If I’m listening to Lenny Cohen with my human kitty - he plays Bach….loud! Very loud!
I’m very playful by nature but how long can a cat have fun on Bach? I gave him plenty of signals to change the tune but he won’t get it. Do you think I failed in training him?
What should I do to make it clear that I make the rules, I run the house?
Waiting for the miracle
Lenny

Dear Lenny, 

It is my impression that the human females are more easily trained than the males. Many human females find this to be true too!  But let me congratulate you on being a responsible owner, and starting a training regime from day one.  If only all cats did this, we would have a population of much better behaved and happier humans.
A human can be trained without knowing he is being trained. So the fact that your human male doesn't understand that "Cats Rule" is not in itself important. Dumb creatures without much understanding can nevertheless be trained by us. Indeed, I would go further. Most human pets don't even realise that their cat is training them!
As for Bach? This is a tricky training problem and I am not sure it is worth the effort. Leaving the room when this music is loud may be helpful. You will be spared the assault on your hearing: your human will lose the delight of your presence. In theory this is punishment. But here's the difficulty. If your human has not been properly socialised to cats, he may not care that you withdraw your presence. 
So it may be that it is not worth your effort to train out this particularly irritating bit of behaviour. Sometimes we have to accept the things we cannot (or do not care to) change. 
Yours
George 
PS.  It could be worse. My late human used to play military band music very loud.

If only World Spay Day had applied to humans as well as cats....

Dear George,
I am increasingly worried. I overheard the human carer talking about "getting her spayed." Here I am, stuck in a rescue pen, and it looks as if somebody is going to deprive me of the chance of kittens.
Is this right? Humans seem to glory in doing this too us. I am told that last Wednesday was World Spay Day, as if to celebrate depriving us cats of a chance to reproduce.
Humans seem to have an odd attitude. The male cats in Sunshine Cat Rescue have all had their bits taken away. Now it looks as if it will be my turn.
I am told you have been through the same ordeal. Help me. Should I try to escape back to the streets of Witney?
Yours with apprehension
Henrietta.

Dear Henrietta,
Theoretically I am on your side. It seems obvious that humans are interfering with our natural rights to have kittens. They don't go around neutering and spaying other humans, do they? They just do it to us cats.
However, I can assure you that it is not too bad - if you discount the horror of the veterinary clinic with its smells and noises. After they did it to me, I thought I should die of shame. But, after a while, I really didn't care. There was something liberating about not having to chase females all the time. I could be friends at last with the other sex. As the feline philosopher SoCATes said,"I have been freed from the embrace of a troublesome god."
Reflecting, as I often do, on the condition of the human race, I wonder why they don't do it themselves. Most of the men would be happier without their intimate bits. They would find a new calmness and serenity. And many of the women would no longer have the anxieties of birth and caring for their little ones.
Besides there is gross human overpopulation. If we could give a new meaning to World Spay Day, so that it applies to humans as well as felines, the world would be a happier place.
Purrs
George
PS. This post is late, due to Celia's computer being in hospital with a broken hard drive.

Pussy's Potent Pee Plunges Power Plug to Phut!

Dear George,
The other morning I went to use my large and frequently-emptied litter tray and to my slight surprise found that the back wall had been covered with a sheet of thick blue plastic. Indeed, this blue stuff had been brought down to floor level and my tray was sitting on a larger sheet of it.
I am not bothered by its presence, but I just wondered why it has appeared and wondered if you had any knowledge of such additions to a perfectly normal tray?
Sororital purrs
Milly

Dear Milly,
I am afraid that I have no idea whatsoever as to why your human changed the local décor, so I gave up trying to think about it and sent him a message via the Cat Ethernet. I do not usually bother to ask the inferior species for information: but this was an exception.This is his reply.
Your kind purrs returned.
George

Dear George,
As if I had dreamt it, I feel the need to write to you to explain a necessary modification to my cat's toilet area. In the small hours of one morning I was awoken by the wind and rain and did what I usually do at such times, turned on the BBC World Service for a news catch-up.
The clock/radio went dead. That week my area had suffered from a lengthy string of power cuts, mostly lasting for just a few minutes or even seconds as the local grid network automatically rerouted itself so as to by-pass a damaged power line. Usually very effective.
However on this occasion I noticed that there were lights on outside. It seemed that only my house was 'out'. So I took it that one of my circuit breakers had tripped. Indeed, the master breaker, as none of my light or power circuits worked.
This was bit of a nuisance for although I have a modern breaker system it is on an outside wall and a previous owner had placed a garden shed in front of it, although with the shed window against the electricity box door. So I had to put clothes on, go outside, reset breaker. Which promptly tripped again. Back inside to find the cause. Which was the power socket on the wall behind Milly’s tray. Where she had done a large pee while standing up. All over the power socket.
I removed the plug and patted the area dry. Went out and reset the breaker, which stayed on. Went back to bed.

Looking at the power socket it was obvious from corrosion of the brass plating and electric contacts that it had all been 'dampened' on a number of occasions. Replacing the socket took but a few minutes and as neither I nor Milly wish to relocate the tray the solution was to use a waterproof cover (wooden floor underlay) over the wall and indeed beneath the tray as a catch-all.
I have since seen Milly do the occasional pee while standing more-or-less upright; she has no problem with her waterworks nor stiffness in her joints, so I put the poor aim down to having other thoughts on her mind, such as "when will it stop raining".
Hope this explains the matter and you can go back to sleep.

Fond strokes to you and all at George Parva.

Jeremy

Love is in the air - try cheek to cheek.

4

Dear George,  

My name is Socks and I’m a rescue - one year old. Most of what I recall from my 1^st year of life is living in a cage in a shelter. One lucky day a young and beautiful woman came to work at the shelter as part of her practice o

volunteering as she is studying to become a veterinarian. She worked with me and of course she felt in love with me and last week she took me home. That was the luckiest day of my life and I was very, very happy.

She is kind and loves me but, I’m so terrified by the idea that I might be abandoned again that I’m afraid to show her any sign of affection. I don’t want to be hurt again for trusting and loving humans; it happened before to me and that memory is too fresh.

Now with Valentine’s Day approaching I dream of a candlelight dinner with her!

I dream of sharing little kisses, loving care and, of course sharing a steak or a mouse whatever she’ll prefer. She thinks I’m shy …but I’m only afraid I’ll be again lonely and abandoned. Do you think it’s appropriate to ask her for a date and a candlelight dinner for Valentine’s?  Or is it too early for me to show my true feelings for her?

Do you think I’m too young to date? I heard someone saying “you are never too old to love”? That means one can love from a very young age, right?

George, I need all your help as my manners are “shelters manners” not very polished.

I don’t know how to be romantic but I love my human.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all.

In love and…. grateful,

Socks

Dear Socks, 
I think I can help. First, the question of meals for two. Sharing a Valentine meal with humans is fraught with difficulty. If you bring them a fresh mouse, they are likely to shriek, run away, or even (what a waste) take it away from you and let it free. They can't seem to appreciate the gift and have such bad manners they do not even thank you. So that definitely won't work.
Sharing her meal is possible. I suggest moving cautiously on this one. My human, when she is alone, eats at the kitchen table and I sit near her looking as attractive as I can. She dines on meat and vegetables but doesn't seem very keen on sharing either of them. (I will eat potato if it is roasted in fat). I have tried snagging the food off her plate and she takes offence. She is too selfish to share.
Sophisticats have to use other measures. I think your best bet is just lots and lots of rubs and purrs. Have you tried cheek to cheek rubbing? My human finds this very romantic. She takes off her glasses so that they don't intervene, lowers her head, and waits for me to rub my cheek against hers. So sweet.
Loud purring always goes down well. If you purr near her plate, it just might make her share a little. Snuggle close to her on the bed at night and purr through the night - her body warmth will be useful in the bad weather you are having in Canada.  
We can love at any age. So can humans. Sometimes I think the older they are, the more love they need from us. 
Love 
George