The cat in the stable....

FREDERICO BAROCCI

 Yes, of course, there was a cat in the Bethlehem stable. How else would the stable been safe for a baby, at that amazing moment in history.  

So, it's not in the Bible account.? Does that mean it wasn't there? That though there were oxen and a donkey, those were the only animals.

Not so. There would have been the pigeons or doves, roosting during the night up in the rafters. And, of course, there would have been mice and probably some rats, picking up any spare grain left by the oxen.

LEONARDO DA VINCI

There would have been the insects too. Probably some beetles, ants, moths and butterflies in hibernation. There might even have been some hibernating wall lizards that winter. 

It was an ordinary stable with ordinary creatures great and small. And in the centre of them all, a new born baby.

REMBRANDT

Of course there were cats. The great painters knew that. 

Christmas trees.. this year's disaster.

 Yes, she's done it again. My living room now has a rather unpleasant pine tree in it.

I used to enjoy the tree when I was younger. I climbed it. I pulled off the baubles. Sometimes I succeeded in pulling it down altogether.

She tried hanging it from the ceiling one year. That was a real challenge. I managed one of the best leaps of my life and clung on to it, while it swung wildly.

But it all ended badly with a trip to the vet, when I got a pine needle stuck in my paw. 

So this year I intended to ignore the tree.

Alas for good intentions. This tree smelled of DOG. To be exact, it smelled of dog pee.

So I had to overmark it. I backed up and sprayed on it.

That didn't end well, either.

• Get your human to buy this. Sales pay for my catfood!
  
  
  
  

It hurts, you stupid human!

 

Ouch.. why do humans do that? The vet was pulling my leg around so I doubled back and bit him.

Then my human apologized as if I had done something wrong. He had hurt me. He should have apologized to me.

What did he expect, handling me like that. His explanation (not to me but to her) was that he was palpating me! Palpating! Not so much palpating as punishing me with pain.

You just can't get through to them. As if it wasn't enough that I am getting stiff with arthritis in my old age! Of course that makes me grumpy. Oldies in pain always are. Not just cats but humans too.

It's that flooring in the kitchen that is to blame. I have to go there to eat and use the litter tray, but it's hard and slippery tiles. What I need is non-slip flooring or carpet.

The litter tray is getting difficult too. She should get me one with an easy entrance. It hurts when I have to lift my legs to get into it. 

One day I won't bother. I will just pee on the floor. And she will blame me, rather than the high sides of the litter tray.

I could do with a ramp on to the sofa, and on to the bed. Yet it has never occurred to her. Why doesn't the vet suggest this instead of pain-palpitating me! A fat lot of good that is.

I heard him say "weight loss." Food is almost the only pleasure I have left. Why didn't he say "Flooring."

Humans - dumb animals without any empathy for elderly cats! I 

Cats are smarter than babies.

That cats are more clever than babies is not news for us cats. It is obvious to any cat who has compared human babies with kittens.

Kittens can walk at the age of two weeks: babies are still unable to do this at that age. Kittens are litter trained by eight weeks: babies are not potty trained until about one to three years (depending on their mothers' skills).

Now scientists have tested how quickly cats can make an association of a word with a picture. They can do this more quickly than babies.

Is this surprising? Not in the least. Human babies are incredibly slow to develop physical and mental skills compared with kittens. 

Sad that scientists have to rediscover obvious truths. But that is how humans work...

We just get on with enjoying warmth and sunlight and good food and hunting. 

Wiser than dumb humans? Of course.

 

• Here is the original report - https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-024-74006-2 

"Elections?" No, cat shelters.

Stray cats in Idaho love US "elections", I have been told by feline friends. It is all because of the election signs humans put on their lawns.

These are useless rectangles with markings upon them that humans call writing. Some rectangles are blue. Some are red (though this colour is difficult for me to see.) Don't ask me why because I don't know.

Why they create these idiotic useless signs is beyond my understanding. Humans get excited about such odd things and do so many pointless things.

But there is a human in Idaho who makes these plastic rectangles into insulated cat shelter boxes, so that stray cats can keep warm in winter.  

So there is one sensible human who knows what really matters. And it isn't this so called "election." 

We cats dread Christmas....

 

My idiotic relative Percy likes Christmas

There may be some cats that enjoy Christmas, but I don't. And  almost all the cats I am acquainted with simply loathe it. Except for Percy on the left.

 The only good thing about Christmas is the turkey. There is usually a lot left over at the end of the day, so I might get some as a treat.

Otherwise it is a nightmare of humans - babies, toddlers (ugh!), harassed adults. Young children may even try to "dress" me.

Strangers invade the house. They ruin the family scent that I have carefully created by rubbing against my normal human and the furniture.

They smell wrong, wrong, wrong... Worse still, some of them smell of dog. And worst of all, sometimes they bring a dog into my home.

Some of the humans get drunk too. That makes them vocalise loudly and sometimes leads to a vocal fight among the relatives. It is a grim time.

What can a self-respecting cat do? Well I retire to the spare bedroom (if it is unoccupied) or loaf around on my human's bed. 

I suppose I should be grateful that I am not put into a cattery. Some of my feline friends languish in solitary confinement while their humans go for a holiday.

Christmas is coming.... and I dread it.

Phew, the danger is over... but another to come

 

This is the worst time of year for all cats, particularly black ones. Why? Because humans celebrate Halloween and then in the UK Guy Fawkes night (G.F. being the man who tried to blow up the House of Commons.)

In the USA Halloween (October 31) is particularly dangerous for black cats, because some yobs will chuck them on to bonfires. Worse still, cat-lovers will pick up stray black cats and deliver them to cat shelters.

What's wrong with that? Well, apart from no-kill shelters, black cats are often euthanised because they are more difficult to rehome. So these "rescued" black cats may get killed because by the shelter itself.

This Halloween danger is particularly bad in the US. In the UK, where fortunately almost all shelters are no-kill, black cats are not routinely euthanised. 

But bonfires and fireworks are still dangerous to cats whether at Halloween or Guy Fawkes night. Street yobs think it is funny to throw bangers at passing cats or, worse, tie them on a cat. 

That's one danger. Even if the cat isn't hurt, they may run off and get lost.

The other danger is bonfires. Not many humans are vile enough to throw a cat on a bonfire, but nonetheless some cats get burned in these fires.

A stray cat looking for shelter, may tunnel in to a bonfire before it is lit. (So may hedgehogs). Often a bonfire is built a few weeks before the celebration in order to collect enough material.

Then if nobody bothers to check before lighting it, any animals who took refuge there are burned to death.

So purrlease keep us safe this coming Firework Night in the UK.

 

*Want to know more about what it is like being rescued? Read this book for the inside story.

If cats designed catteries...

This cattery design looks modern but it gives the inmates no privacy from staring humans.

 If we cats designed catteries, the most important thing we would do is make sure every cattery has a hiding place. A proper one which gives complete privacy.

It's always scary going to a boarding cattery for the first time. It smells wrong. There are weird noises. And - worst of all - there are strange human beings STARING at us.

Staring is intimidating and stressful.

That's why we need a small area to which we can retreat, until we have got used to the pen and can spend some time rubbing around it to spread our scent so that it smells like home.

The worst cattery designs are those that just have a shelf and a blanket. If there is a high sided bed, that helps a little though not enough.

The other cattery designs we hate are those one where only glass separates us from the humans the other side.  We have to sit near the glass because that is the only heated area.

Nervous cats close their eyes and pretend to sleep - it's called feigned sleep and it is a sign of stress. Our bodies are tense, our back is humped up, and every now and again we turn our heads away from the staring humans.

Watch this video at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxnA1YL3KJw   and you will see what I mean.

OK, so you humans cannot afford to rebuild your cattery. We understand. But there is something you can do.

PLEASE give us a cardboard box (photo abovve)  to hide in. Or buy a Hide & Sleep (photo right) from Cats Protection which gives more protection.

 

The Prime Minister didn't adopt. He shopped.

 

KITTENS LIKE CONRAD NEED A HOME....

Humans will keep buying us. As if we were a packet of cereal from a supermarket. Then after buying us with money, they think they own us.

Indeed their stupid laws says we are a possession.

The UK prime minister is the latest idiot to buy a cat. He has acquired an expensive Maine coon kitten "for his children." That's a typical politician's excuse.

He could have adopted a kitten that needed a home. He could have been like American president Joe and his wife Jill Biden who always adopt rescue animals.

Our prime minster just flashed the cash. If it was his purrsonal cash. Maybe it wasn't. He doesn't buy his own glasses and his suits. They are donated by a friend.

He could have set a good example by getting a rescue cat. He could have done something for cat welfare. He might even have shown some love and sympathy for homeless cats.  He chose not to. 

I am glad I am a cat, not a politician. I think more clearly. I have proper pride. 

Cats in hats

Dressing up cats is one of the more disgusting habits of young humans, usually females. It's uncomfortable, and it goes against the dignity of any decent cat. It's feline humiliation at its worst.

Cats hate hats. 

Now adult scientists are doing it and I am not sure whether to give it my approval or not. They have started crocheting little hats for cats, so that they can measure brain activity.

Demeaning? Yes. Should be stopped? Purrhaps not. The aim is to measure feline brain activity so as to learn more about chronic pain. 

Many of us older cats have severe arthritis. Our dumb human companions often don't notice this. We hide our pain and do not complain. Unlike them... have you ever heard two oldie humans swapping stories about their health? Pathetic.

So the aim of these hats is to benefit cats, not humans -- for a change. And although the cats in the Youtube report (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLyRnnprR-M) look very fed up with their hats, maybe their disgust is justified by the benefits that may result.

And, of course, this is non-invasive research. No cat is hurt in the process. Just made to feel very very undignified. What do other felines think?

How we domesticated humans

 This is a home for a cat circa 8,500 BC - one of the first that humans built when they became civilised and friendly to cats.

Before that time they wandered around the landscape without settling down in one spot. 

Once they settled, they had to store food. So house mice moved in.  So did sparrows. And so did we.... for the mice not the humans.

But the shelter from the weather suited some of us too. Admittedly building techniques in the so called Fertile Crescent were only mudbrick and the entrance door was in the roof... but better than a cold cave.

It was the beginning of the domestication of humans by cats. We moved in when we thought they had evolved enough.

• Photo shows early Neolithic mudbrick house, recreated at Asikli Hoyuk in Turkey.
  

Interventions for online addicts

Humans are strange creatures that get addicted to their computer screens. They are simply not present. Not here. Like drug users, they become more and more lost in their addiction.

We can help them get out of the online world and back into reality. But it takes tough love and a lot of purrsistence.

Luckily we cats have patience. We can wait at a mouse hole for hours and hours. This quality will be needed in our dealings with online addicts.

I recommend a sliding scale of action. Try these methods and then use the ones that work best.

• Mewing. Sound not scent is the best normal way to get your human's attention. They are scent blind but can be roused with noise.
• Purring loudly... you need to have jumped on the desk to make this rather charming intervention work. Purr as close to their face as possible. Lure them into looking at you not the screen.
  
• Desk roaming. Walk round the desk area, poking your paw at anything which might fall off the desk.
• Printer sitting. Sit on the printer and wait for the paper to come out. Treat this intervention as if you were waiting for a mouse to emerge from its mousehole. Printers are slightly warm to the butt, so this is quite an enjoyable intervention. 
• Printer take down. If the printer is a cheap one, your weight may stop printing altogether or even, if you are lucky, break the ridiculous item.
• 
  Keyboard paw work. Poking or sitting on the keyboard can produce a pleasing range of gobbledegook on the screen. Useful in vet's surgeries to prevent note taking.
  
• Screen blocking. Some cats do not bother with the above methods. They move straight to screen blocking. Blocking the screen makes online users unable to use. It is probably the best intervention going but comes with hazards if the online addict is likely to be violent.