I'm one of a group of elite kittens.... very special indeed. I've been enrolled in the Bristol kitten study. This means that experts will be checking up on my progress as I grow older. They will be able to tell if a good kitten education helps protect me in later life from stress and perhaps even disease.
They need about 600 more kittens from the UK by the end of the year, so if anybody reading this has a new kitten get in touch with them. They'd love to hear from you.
We Bristol kittens are proud to be helping with important human research.
Love Tootles.
Dear Tootles,
Congratulations. Anything which helps Homo sapiens understand cats better is to be welcomed. I recommend that all UK kittens sign up here now. Humans need all the help we can give them, poor old things.
The human species is odd. Mine spends a lot of time on "research" at her computer when she is actually looking up Facebook and generally wasting her time when she could be tickling my tummy. In short bursts - I only like about 30 seconds then I swipe her.
So don't let this human research fool you into thinking that humans are more intelligent than cats. We have innate and instinctive knowledge which far outweighs human wit.
We know humans are stupid because they demonstrate it daily.
There you are sitting near the open cat flap. You make a polite meow to your human. There is no response. You make another one. "Why can't you use the cat flap?" they say.
No way is it worth dignifying that with a response. Why don't I use the cat flap? Because, you pathetic human, I don't choose to. You make a third meow. Finally the human servant does its duty and opens the door to you.
Don't spoil your human, Tootles. Train him or her in obedience from the very beginning. A good human pet should have the following duties - open the door on command, feed on command, get out of bed on command, leave the armchair for you on command, move over in the bed to give you more space on command..... and so forth.
Start as you mean to go on.
Yours
George
George, based on what you are saying....it seems that we trained our human pets to perfection :-))))
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Fluffy & Cayenne
Are the 90's Bristol kids today's Bristol vets? If yes, I can understand their interest in understanding us better. They realize we are superior and, smart as they are, they want to copy us :-)
ReplyDeleteTootles, you are a very, very cute kitten. Hope you have responsible human parents since you're still a minor!
Diego
OMG! Tootles, you are soooo beautiful! I look at the link and all Bristol cats are beautiful!
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CAT Victoria
Yes, please register your kittens in this study if it will help humans serve us better!
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Minnie
Tootles, you are so cute...I can kiss the screen:-)
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Shumba
Tootles, you are a very beautiful little kitten and probably to young to know if there is a Bristol study for dummies - I'm talking humans! I need to enroll my male human in such study since he still thinks he is my master!
ReplyDeleteQuite a good laugh I have every day :-)
Blackie
George, I's me, Harve.
ReplyDeleteGeorge, I'm being accused of being a manipulator. Is that good? Is it the same as training sessions? I know you give lots of advice, most of which I alresdy know,on how to train our families but is manipulating just as effective do you think?