I have a problem for which I would like your advice - space on the bed. My human takes up too much space. Worse still, she is a restless sleeper, often turning over, changing position or moving her legs. No matter where I start the night, I find she is pushing me towards the edge of the bed. And I have to get up and move several times a night in order to resettle myself away from her thrashing body.
I mean, a cat just can't get a good night's sleep with this kind of human. It is most irritating. Any ideas?
Yours
Beauty.
Dear Beauty,
Proper control of the bed is one of the fundamentals of training your human. You have to take charge firmly and decisively and create a routine so that your human sleeps soundly in the area you have assigned her. A human that is moving around the bed cannot be a welcome bedmate.
First establish the bedroom routine. Some cats prefer to take up their position before the human arrives in the bedroom. Others maintain that it is more effective to spring on to the bed at roughly the same time as your human. Still others claim that getting on the bed, after the human has started to snore, is the best strategy.
Whatever your choice, you will need to move your human into a position that suits you. This can often be done while she sleeps. Put yourself as close as you can to the area you wish to claim and lean on her steadily and consistently. A properly devoted human will usually respond by infinitesimally moving away. Inch by inch, its' a cinch.
The human that does not move - and there are a few, often those sunk in alcoholic slumber - needs more vigorous methods. You will have to wake them up. For this I suggest the purr-and-rub tactic applied to the face. Few humans will sleep if a cat is rubbing against their cheeks and purring loudly. Dumb humans think this is just affection and cannot see the strategy behind it.
Once woken, most humans will shift position. Nip into the area you want and settle down. After such a show of love, even a hung over human is unlikely to be unkind enough to shift you.
Yours
George.
PS. This blog is late because my human is exhausted.
Beauty, one solution will be to relocate your human to the basement (hope you have a bed there)...but....you might miss her body warm. Humans can be used most of the time as warm "bottles" to keep us cozy :-)
ReplyDeleteSir Winston
You are a real Beauty! Who wouldn't share the bed with you? Just make sure that your human understands that you'd like more room for yourself.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Fluffy
PS. George, force Celia to get some rest!
Can I slip in beside you? My human is snoring so bad that I have no place to hide :-)
ReplyDeleteDiego
Beauty, get in bed before your human and stand your ground! Add a sleeping pil to her night tea too!
ReplyDeleteWith practice will have the perfect human pillow for your beauty sleep :-)
Minnie
Oscar Snuggles always wanted under the cover so he could really snuggle close. He would force me to fling off the covers because he was so warm. Some nights I would just move to the guest bedroom so he would have all the room he wanted. He would quickly take over my warm place and even put his head on my pillow.
ReplyDelete