This was the day of days, the moment when my life reached the pinnacle of success and triumph. I caught a full grown adult rabbit. My first. It was so huge I couldn't get it through the cat flap - which is why the photograph is poor. Celia was in an inexplicable mood. Instead of welcoming me home as I dragged the dead body right down the farm track, she shuddered and ran indoors. So she would only take the photograph through the door. That's why it is bad quality. She let me down.
Indeed her emotional reaction was really perplexing. On the one hand she called to Ronnie, with a real note of pride, saying "Look what he's caught." Then she said: "That's good news for my vegetable patch." All well and good. Then came a series of remarks suggesting that she had had second thoughts. "At least, it's dead. I just couldn't bear it if I had to dispatch it." Then: "I wish he wouldn't kill everything."
The woman can't decide whether she's proud of me or upset by me. Talk about conflicting emotions. You see she wrote a book called "One Hundred Ways to a Happy Bunny" because she loves rabbits. Ånd she's connected with the Rabbit Welfare Fund. So she is actually as fond of bunnies as I am - only in a rather different way.
It all rather spoiled my triumph. Who'd keep humans as pets. They are so devastatingly irrational.
Dear George,
ReplyDeleteWell, you do disappoint me! As one very smart house rabbit I cannot sympathetically comment on your wilfull murder of one of my country cousins.
I had no problem whatsoever with our family cat, Summertime. I simply binkied when she got too close to me one day in the garden, peeing as I twisted gracefully in the air and soaked her in a heavy shower! She didnt come near me again. The vet relieved me of one or two of my bits and pieces after a few repeat performances but, hey, I can jump even higher now.
I used a slightly different tecnique on Willow the Hungarian Vizla. She thought I was one of her soft toys so I bit her a couple of times on her nose and made it bleed. we have been firm friends ever since.
You need a bunny in your family, George and tell Celia, if you get too fond of fresh rabbit she could well have problems with your diet...or worse still, lose you to the wild. It does happen.
Doubtful regards, Harvey, the house rabbit.
PS. I hope you get fleas.